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                                     Wedding Ceremony 
                                         The Bard 

                   THE ORDER OF SOLEMNIZATION OF MARRIAGE (GENERAL) 
           
          The Altar shall be dressed with a white cloth, with a  Cup, and an un-
          sheathed  Sword. A small lectern  should be provided  to the Minister,
          that he may  hold the Sword and read the ceremony. One candle shall be
          unlit upon the altar, and two lit candles shall be provided, to either
          side. 
           
          Smaller candles shall be  provided to at least the wedding  party, and
          to the whole congregation, if possible. 
           
          %         Ministers take Altar 
          %         Groom and attendants take altar 
          %         Processional music starts 
          %         Bridesmaids process 
          %         Bride and father process 
          %         Bride and father take altar 
           
          MINISTER:  Dearly beloved,  today you  are surrounded by  your family,
          your friends, and your loved ones, all of whom have gathered     here
          today in the sight of the ONE to share your joy and         witness
          your marriage. 
           
                    Who gives this woman to be wed? 
           
          FATHER:   I do. 
           
          %            (the Bride's  father shall give  the Bride's hand  to the
          Groom, and then take his seat) 
           
          MINISTER 2: This most sacred of bonds is not to be entered into 
          lightly, but soberly and advisedly, with openness and       honesty. I
          require and charge you both now, upon your        honors,  to disclose
          any reason or impediment why you may not          be  lawfully  joined
          this day. 
           
          BRIDE/GROOM: By our honors, there are none. 
           
          %         (The Minister shall turn to the congregation and say:) 
           
          MINISTER: Likewise, I charge all of you now, upon your honors, that if
          any            know a reason that these two may not be lawfully joined
          this day,           to speak now or forever hold your peace. 
           
          %         (There shall be a short pause for any response) 
           
          MINISTER: (N)  and (N), life has no singular  meaning so much as it is
          made up of many meaningful events, some of which may be 
          specified and planned for. One of these is Marriage. As you      know,
          no minister, no priest, no rabbi, no public official        can  marry
          you; you can only marry yourselves. By a mutual        commitment   to
          love each other     and to create an atmosphere of          considera-
          tion and respect, you can make your marriage come           to life. 
           


                                                                            1527
          


          MINISTER 2:  On this, the  day of  your marriage,  you stand  somewhat
          apart from all other human beings. You stand within the 
          charmed Circle of your love, and this is as it should be,        b u t
          love is not meant to be the possession of two people        alone.
          Rather it should serve as a source of common energy,        a  form in
          which you can find the strength to live your lives          w  i  t  h
          courage. From this day onward, you must come closer         together
          than ever before, yet your love should give you the         strength
          to stand apart; to seek out your own unique des        tinies,  and to
          make your own special contribution to that        which  is  always  a
          part of us, and more than us. 
           
          MINISTER:  A marriage that lasts  is one which  is continually develop
          ing, in which each person is continually developing while 
          growing in understanding of the other. Deep knowledge of 
          another is not something that can be achieved in a short         time.
          Real understanding can only develop fully with years        of     in-
          timacy. This wonderful knowledge of another grows out       of  really
          caring for the other so much, that one wants to        understand   as
          completely as possible the intricacies of the          other. 
           
          MINISTER 2:  May you be blessed with this deep knowledge of each other
                    through all the days of your lives. 
           
                    Would you now give your vows? 
           
          BRIDE/GROOM: We will. 
           
          MINISTER: What tokens do you give that you will keep these vows? 
           
          BRIDE/GROOM: We give these rings. 
           
           
          %          (The rings shall be  given to the Minister, who shall  take
          them in hand.) 
           
          MINISTER 2:  The ring is used  in this ceremony because  the Circle is
          our symbol for Spirit; that which was in the Beginning, is       now,
          and ever shall Be, Love, without end. In this ceremony,          it is
          that love which is deathless and eternal. 
           
          %           (Both  Ministers shall join hands,  holding the Rings, and
          shall say:) 
           
          MINISTER: We  ask now the Blessing  of the One upon  these rings. They
          are bands of silver with the Tree of Life cast in relief         upon
          their surfaces.  Let the bands represent eternity, love 
          without end, and let the trees represent the nurturement you     will
          share in that Love, now and always. 
           
          BOTH:     And so it is. 
           
          %         (The Rings shall be taken by the second Minister.) 
          %          (And if it is a Swordfasting, then the Minister  shall take
          up the Sword, and flourish it aloft, and then place it 
          point-down in front of him.) 
           


                                                                            1528
          

          %         (The Bride and Groom shall face  each other, and place their
          %         hands upon the Sword's pommel, with both Ministers placing %
               their hands over the Bride and Groom's.) 
          %         (the Minister #2 shall turn to the Groom, and say:) 
           
           
          MINISTER 2: (N), repeat after me: 
           
                      (N), I take you as my wife. 
                      I pledge to share my life openly with you 
                      To speak the truth to you in love 
                      And to honor and cherish you all the days of our lives. 
                      I promise to love and tenderly care for you 
                      For better and for worse 
                      For richer and for poorer 
                      In sickness and in health 
                      In all storms and fair days we may weather together 
                      For as long as we both shall live. 
                      I promise to respect your needs, 
                      To support you in your endeavors 
                      And encourage you as an individual 
                      Through all the changes of our lives. 
                      With these words, I pledge my love. 
           
          %         (The Groom shall take the Ring) 
           
                      And with this ring I seal my vows 
                      Now and forever. 
           
          %         (The Groom shall place the Ring upon the Bride's finger.) 
           
          %         (The Minister shall then turn to the Bride, and say:) 
           
          MINISTER: (N), repeat after me: 
           
                    (N), I take you as my husband. 
                    I pledge to share my life openly with you 
                    To speak the truth to you in love 
                    And to honor and cherish you all the days of our lives. 
                    I promise to love and tenderly care for you 
                    For better and for worse 
                    For richer and for poorer 
                    In sickness and in health 
                    In all storms and fair days we may weather together 
                    For as long as we both shall live. 
                    I promise to respect your needs, 
                    To support you in your endeavors 
                    And encourage you as an individual 
                    Through all the changes of our lives. 
                    With these words, I pledge my love. 
           
          %         (The Bride shall take the Ring) 
           
                    And with this ring I seal my vows 
                    Now and forever. 
           
          %         (The Bride shall place the Ring upon the Groom's finger.) 
           
           
           


                                                                            1529
          

           
          %         (Both Ministers shall then say:) 
           
          MINISTER: May you never hunger. 
           
          MINISTER #2: May you never thirst. 
           
          %         (Here there may be an interlude of music) 
           
          MINISTER 2: At this time, I would like to speak of some of  the things
                    that many of us wish for you. 
                              First,wewish foryou aLove thatmakes youboth better
          people, That continues always to give you joy 
                    And a zest for living, 
                              Andprovidesyouwith theenergytoface theresponsibili
          ties of life. 
           
                              Wewish foryoua Home,notaplace ofstoneor wood,butan
                   island of serenity and sanity. 
                              Wehopethat thisHome isnot justaplace ofprivate joy
          and retreat, But rather serves as a Castle wherein the 
          values of your life and family are generated and upheld. 

                    We hope your home stands as a symbol of humans living 
          together in Love and peace, Seeking Truth and nurturement 
          through each other. 
                    
                    We hope that it has within it the elements of Simplicity, 
                              Exuberance,Beauty,Silence,Colorandaconcordancewith
          the Rhythms of Life. 

                              We wishforyou aHomewith Books,Poetryand Music,Fora
          home with all the things that represent the highest striv        ings
          Of men and women. 
           
                    Finally, we wish that your lives be blessed with Spiritual 
                    Abundance, and that your spiritual involvement be enhanced 
                    through This marriage. 
           
          %           (The  Minister shall turn to  the congregation, and  shall
          say:) 
           
          MINISTER: Let us all  stand together for the closing  benediction, and
          the passing of the Light. 
           
          %          (The congregation shall stand. The Bride and Groom shall go
          %         to the Altar and light the single candle from their candles,
          %         and then shall light their attendant's candles, and shall  %
          light the candles of the first person in each row of the %
          congregation. They shall then return to the altar, and %
          extinguish their candles, placing them on the altar, and %
          return to their place before the Ministers.) 
           
          MINISTER  2: May  we all recognize  that the  Presence of  the One has
          already blessed you with the presence of each other. Keep in     your
          rememberance the sacredness of this trust and the love           that
          knows no end. May that Peace, which passes all human 
          understanding abide with you now, and for always. 
           
          BOTH:     And so it is. 


                                                                            1530
          

           
          MINISTER  2: And forasmuch as (N)  and (N) have expressed their desire
          to be husband and wife, showing their love and affection by 
          joining hands, and have made promises of faith and devotion,     each
          to the other, and have sealed these promises by giving           a n d
          receiving of rings: 
           
          MINISTER: In  the presence of this company  of witnesses, by virtue of
          my sacred stewardship and the power vested in me by the          State
          of Arizona, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. 
           
                    You may kiss the Bride. 
           
          %          (The  Bride and Groom shall  then recess from the altar,  %
          followed by their attendants. The congregation shall be %
          released by rows.) 
           
          %         (Here ends the Order Of Solemnization Of Marriage (General) 


                                                                            1531
          

                                Weasel Wicca:  a Toon Trad 
                by fara Shimbo, Diane Darling and the European Land Otters
                          (Green Egg, Issue 95, Yule '91, p. 21.)

                      The Great Mothers of this tradition are Galanthus, who was
          turned into a  weasel for lying  to Juno; and  Eris, both Goddess  and
          Ferret incarnate, who are IN CHARGE.

                 This is the Holy Sacred Oath of the Weasel Tradition:
                        "I don'tbelieve anythingunless Iwant to.Mymind issubject
          to change within reason and without notification at any time. We will
          always have Paris. (But not paris of sox.) I can  do without my socks.
          Other than that there are absolutely no absolutes."

                Sacred Objects of the Weasel tradition include:
                  * A Floppy Witch Hat (double sided, single density)
                  * The nearest operational refrigirator
                  * Dirty Socks
                  * Tubes made of cardboard or plastic
                  * Rubber erasers and squeaky toys
                  * Loud plastic bag and ping pong balls
                  * The Golden Apple of Eris
                  * Silk Top hat.

                    In order tobe initiated into the WeaselTradition, a new ber-
          serker must:
                  * Co-habit with a Ferret; at least one.
                          *Acquireyourtoolsin
                                            asomewhatless-than-entirely-scrupul-
          ous manner- stopping short of Genuine Theft. Use your imagination.
                          *Sacrifice aSock toGalanthus. Itmust bea goodSock, one
          you wouldn't otherwise throw away, and you must have the other one in
          your possession.
                          * Bake some holyFhood, with Weasel Help,which includes
          raisins and chocolate chips.
                          *Write aritual containingat leastthree thingswhich are
          obviously or  blatantly lifted,  word for  word, from somewhere  else.
          Anywhere else.
                  * Let a weasel lick your lips while you sing:

                        The Weasel Help Song:
                            Everyone needs Weasel help,
                              Weasel Help, Weasel Help
                            Everyone needs Weasel help,
                              to get them through the day!
                            I don't need no Weasel Help,
                              Weasel Help, Weasel Help,
                            I don't need no Weasel Help,
                              no matter what you say!

                    The Sacred Holidays of the Weasel tradition are any holidays
          which have even the slightest thing to do with Fhood.


                                                                            1532


Next: "Weasel Wicca" (Humor fm. Green Egg)