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                                ETHYL OXIDE

                            by Aleister Crowley


                                     I

   Experiments conducted (at odd times beginning July 1916 e.v.) on my own 
person, have convinced me that the particular technical  administration of 
Ethyl  Oxide  in  combination with  certain mental  exercises enables  the 
experimenter to ascertain;

1.  The value of the relation of a given thought or faculty with the sum of 
    his mental characteristics.
2.  The final  opinion  of  the  experimenter on any given subject  (In the 
    popular phrase, "what is at the bottom of the flask".)

    While of course complete unconsciousness has  often  been  reached  (in 
    surgical operations etc.) it has never been ascertained what occurs  in 
    this  state  (of anesthesia  induced by Ether) to  the  normal  healthy 
    individual  when  he has trained himself to hold a  thought  through  a 
    period  of  unconsciousness so that there is  complete identity between 
    the last thought before losing, & the first after regaining, conscious-
    ness.
   
    It suggests itself that knowledge on this point might throw light upon;

 a. The psychology of dying

 b. The post mortem consciousness, assuming that after  bodily  death, the 
    individual "awakes" to another form of life.

                                     II

The  following conditions appear in the light of experience & reasoning  to 
be favorable to the experiment.

1.  The experiment must take place in such conditions, physical  &  psycho-
    logical,  that distraction  is minimized. (e.g. choose  a  quiet spot & 
    time, let the mind be free from care or preoccupation.).  Let  the  ex-
    perimenter be thoroughly awake & alert, free from physical  fatigue,  & 
    in sound bodily health.

2.  The  process  of intoxication should be exceedingly gradual.  The  free 
    nostril should be applied to the neck of the flask, but no attempt made 
    to  exclude  air from the lungs. The criterion of proper administration 
    is  given  by the time occupied, which should  not  be much less than 2 
    hours  from the beginning  to  the  moment of losing consciousness.  If 
    properly done, a very small amount of Ethyl Oxide is required, say  1/2 
    oz.  (The time will vary  with  the expertness of the experimenter; one 
    can  quicken  up  when one knows how to  maintain  full  control of the 
    thought-stream.)

3.  The experimenter should already be expert:

  a. in analyzing his thoughts; so as to be able to detect the character of 
     any thought & to understand precisely why it has superseded  its  pre-
     decessor.  (He  should  have some experience  in  detecting  the  sub-
     conscious links between successive ideas. "the words of the insane are 
     mountain-tops" etc.)

  b. in  controlling his mind so  as to be able to reject any thought which 
     is  not  in  the logical sequence of his chosen subject of meditation. 
     (Per contra, an apparently alien thought  sometimes  belongs,  import-
     antly,  to  the  course of analysis.). 

  c. in concentrating  his  mind so that during the whole period of the ex-
     periment  he  is  able to maintain uninterruptedly the analysis of the 
     chosen  subject of his  investigation.  (The beginner  should select a 
     problem which really interests him as deeply as possible.)

4.  He  should  already be expert in Mantra Yoga to the point when,  having 
    hone to sleep repeating his mantra, it should spring instantly to  con-
    sciousness on awakening (either naturally or if disturbed)  without any 
    effort of recollection.

5.  He should  be  sufficiently expert in Yoga  to  be able to discover the 
    concealed meaning of any thought.  (This is the essence of the process. 
    One  begins by considering any  particular opinion or feeling proper to 
    one's  character,  & proceeds to eliminate the accidental circumstances 
    which  have determined its form; until one discovers its root in  one's 
    original nature.  For  example,  one begins by reflecting that one dis-
    likes  a  given color or is attracted to a given system of  philosophy. 
    These phenomena are merely symbols of the shape of one's soul,  so that 
    an  aversion  to red height be connected with one's  fear  of death, or 
    one's  sympathy with Herbert Spencer significant  of one's intellectual 
    habits.) Psychoanalysis assists one to some extent: but avoid accepting 
    the conclusions of  other  people,  or allowing any theory to prejudice 
    the analysis.

                                    III

1.  Ethyl Oxide appears to assist the mind to distinguish between  thoughts 
    proper to its own nature & those suggested to it by some combination of 
    circumstances.

2.  It sometimes enables one to perceive at a glance  each  &  all  of  the 
    forces bearing upon the problem & to extract unerringly their resultant. 
    (In  other words, one is able to make up one's mind quite definitely on 
    any point without fear of having  omitted  some  consideration. It thus 
    informs one what is one's True Will, or the nature of one's inmost Self, 
    in reference to any chosen subject.)

3.  The course of analysis usually proceeds logically up to a certain point; 
    but it often happens that at the last moment,  when  one  feels that an 
    irrevocable event is imminent, the whole analysis is suddenly perceived 
    as camouflage--although perfectly sincere--&  is  violently  rejected & 
    replaced by an apparently disconnected assertion,  usually  of  extreme 
    simplicity.  Subsequent conscious  analysis  should  reveal this as the 
    true cause of the false chain of thought.

4.  The first experiments should, in my opinion, be directed to straighten-
    ing out any kinks in the consciousness  of  the  experimenter; (i.e. he 
    should  seek  to discover who he really is,  his true relation with the 
    Universe  as  opposed to the conscious  idea  of himself which  he  has 
    created, or has been imposed on him by his early training & experience. 
    i.e.  analyze away Wish-phantasms, Fear-spectres, False idiosyncrasies, 
    & prejudices. He should thus get rid of fear, desire, false idealism, & 
    in  particular of the doubt which exists (as I suppose) in  practically 
    all  men  as  to  their own ultimate validity.  I mean that we all have 
    moments when we wonder whether we really exist, or merely persuade our-
    selves that we do.  Also  whether we are  absolutely straight with our-
    selves--see Sir Palamede, sections about Hunchback & the knight that he 
    was Sir P. & Sir P. an impostor.

5.  Deep-seated personal complexes such as above indicated, should be abol-
    ished  before  they disturb the analytical faculty at critical moments. 
    This  being  achieved,  one may proceed to ask such  questions  as  the 
    following: What is my real conception of time, space, causality, truth, 
    etc.?

    It will be found that the definitions of such ideas,  however well they 
    satisfy the normal mind, appear, in the light of this analysis, as of a 
    totally different order.  For instance, time & space may lose all their 
    accepted characteristics & appear as  arbitrary modes of discrimination 
    between aspects of an idea. Such logical axioms as A is A may be recog-
    nized as false.

6.  Having perceived ~"the Universe as Nothingness with twinkles" etc. (See 
    Star  Sponge  Vision  Records (Book $, Part IV) CCXX Comment on Chap I. 
    v.59)  &  subsequently understood that this form is determined  by  the 
    structure of the nervous system & thus really a phantasm of it, one may 
    begin again from that standpoint to enquire why the nervous system  it-
    self  should  be conceived as it is,  from anatomical indications which 
    themselves  depend  on the  same  sensory  perceptions  which  in  turn 
    determine  the  form  of the original vision. i.e. Having got "the Uni-
    verse as I see it is an Image of my nervous system" ask;  "Why do I see 
    the nervous system as I do? What is the ultimate meaning of  this  con-
    ception?  What  does  it  imply,  my  imprisonment  in  this  `circular 
    argument'"?

7.  A  discreet  scribe  should be employed to record the  progress  of the 
    analysis.  The  time  should be carefully  noted.  Apparently senseless 
    exclamations  often  prove the most valuable indications of discoveries 
    which are perhaps unintelligible to  the  experimenter  himself even at 
    the time.

8.  The really vital problem  is  this  (Note:  sleep & death are negative. 
    What  is  it then which withdraws or relaxes?  Does the fact indicate a 
    Self behind the Conscious Ego: if so,  cannot we reach that Self by ex-
    ploring  sleep?):  "What happens to a man when he  is  unconscious?" It 
    should  be  possible to throw some light upon this question by accurate 
    observation of the last conscious thought & its successor on awakening. 
    Given  an experimenter trained to maintain a Mantra through sleep,  any 
    difference  between  these two thoughts should be due to something that 
    has happened in the unconscious state.

9.  The analysis should proceed constantly to deeper levels of the mind. It 
    is  essential  to reach the subconscious strata & make them articulate. 
    The final thought should represent the  nature  of  the man stripped of 
    all  terrestrial  conditions  so  ever.  (It is generally admitted that 
    intoxication  helps reveal the true self of a man, & that at the moment 
    of death he will not utter a lie.  This process should reach deeper yet 
    by willed intelligent elimination of any sources of error.)

10. The experimenter should make a point of  analyzing  away  any  thoughts 
    symptomatic of the Will-to-Live, i.e.  he  should treat the unconscious 
    state  as  a real death, in order to make sure that his last thought is 
    not contaminated by considerations of his  conditioned  existence. (The 
    Will-to-Live is an expression of the bodily & mental complexes, not the 
    True  Self;  otherwise,  one would never consent  to go to sleep as one 
    does.)

11. Ethyl  Oxide may also be used in connection with Magical Invocations to 
    loosen the girders of the Soul.  The  method is to exalt the conscious-
    ness to the utmost by means of the proper ceremonies  & incantations, & 
    then, selecting some short but intense conjuration, the dramatic climax 
    of the ritual, to use it as a mantra  (See The Paris Working, where the 
    Mantra  began  on starting actual sexual intercourse,  & had to be kept 
    going undisturbed by physical & moral interference, even through orgasm 
    itself.  See also Liber HHH & 831.)  at the same time concentrating the 
    Will  upon  entering  into direct communication  with  the Intelligence 
    invoked. The moment of entering unconsciousness should by the climax of 
    this process, so that, as one looses oneself, one becomes that Intelli-
    gence.  There is thus no true unconsciousness, but the arising of a new 
    consciousness,  &  on  coming to oneself, one should bring with one the 
    memory of his nature & message.

12. The  nature of scientific, mathematical, & philosophical conditions may 
    be investigated with every prospect of success. For instance, it should 
    be east to discover whether a statement such as Twice  2  is  4  really 
    asserts  anything  about  the nature of things,  or  defines  a  mental 
    limitation,  or  is  a simple tautology. One might also enquire whether 
    one really believed in an external universe,  whether one's idea of the 
    Ego  was  convenient  fiction or no,  what one really  meant  by  Zero, 
    Infinity, the square root of -1, & so on. (This is particularly import-
    ant because all truths,  so-called,  may  be  rationally resolved  into 
    necessary forms of the  mind,  so that if, for example,  it should turn 
    out that mathematics was no more that a system of symbolizing the facts 
    of  logic,  one  might save much time &  eliminate an obvious source of 
    error.)

13. Ethyl Oxide helps one to confine the area of conscious sensation to any 
    desired limit. Thus, one can concentrate one's attention on a finger  & 
    so analyze the sensation  of  the  minutest  muscular movements such as 
    convey no appreciable impression to the normal mind.  One  becomes con-
    scious of what the parts of the body feel themselves: e.g. the cells of 
    the nostrils feel a definite pleasure at the free passage of air. (This 
    is as far as I have gone; but  it  seems  as  if  this line of research 
    might prove fruitful in the right hands.) It should enable one to  dis-
    tinguish between local and centralized consciousness,  &  to  determine 
    whether the Ego is a single simple Idea, or an illustration composed of 
    diverse  complex  elements  &  realized as a unit for mere convenience' 
    sake.

14. The analysis of sensations enables one  to separate them from the ideas 
    of pleasure & pain. One can thus remember events normally lost  in  ob-
    livion  through  the  operation of Freudian protection.  One  can  also 
    destroy any given fear which tends to oppress the mind & prevent it ex-
    ercising its function freely. Tradition asserts that we forget our pre-
    vious incarnations because the shock of death erects a barrier. Without 
    assenting to this theory, I will say that having trained myself to face 
    the fact of Death without mental disturbance, I found  myself  able  to 
    recall my last death, & so to pick u0 many memories of my previous life 
    as Eliphas Levi; also, that having overcome the first obstacle, it  be-
    came progressively easier to recall lives previous to that. This  hypo-
    thesis is supported by the fact that I find it difficult to remember by 
    Magical mistakes, & am (in particular) barred even now from remembering 
    the details of a tremendous Magical  catastrophe  in  the  remote  past 
    whose effect was to hurl me from a  series  of  incarnations in which I 
    was a high Initiate, & of which I remember  many  incidents,  to  climb 
    painfully once more to my present state.  There  is thus a definite gap 
    in my Magical Memory, a shape  of  shame  & horror which I have not yet 
    found courage to unveil.

15. Ethyl Oxide helps one to classify & understand one's mental faculties & 
    their inter-relation.  In  particular,  one  can clear up the confusion 
    caused by the fact that in one state of mind A is  A  is  absolute;  in 
    another, untrue. One also learns how one faculty implies, & is involved 
    with, another.  This assists one to purify each  from its accidents, to 
    develop it, & to coordinate it with the others to the best advantage... 
    One also learns not to confuse separate orders  of  idea, generally, to 
    correct wrong thinking.

16. Ethyl Oxide helps one  to  diagnose  the diseases of the mind. In early 
    experiments, especially is one's  Magical Training  be  imperfect,  the 
    stimulation of the drug is almost certain to  call  up  emotional  com-
    plexes or  intellectual  prejudices.  These  must  of  course be noted, 
    analyzed,  & destroyed,  before attempting  any  serious  research. The 
    ability to inhibit any such  interference  when  under the influence of 
    intoxication affords a reasonable  guarantee  that one has mastered any 
    such seditions elements in the soul.

17. The delicacy of the mental equilibrium produced by skillful administra-
    tion of the  drug,  enables one to make accurate  measurements  of  the 
    elements of consciousness.  One should make a systematic examination of 
    these, & draw, so to speak, a map to scale, of the mind. This should be 
    done actually, by means of diagrams or descriptions,  &  corrected from 
    time to time as fresh information comes to hand.  It is particularly to 
    understand & estimate  the  components  of each faculty, somewhat as is 
    done in Buddhist psychology.

    The question of the Skandhas is important.  One  must  assimilate fully 
    the fact of Nama-Rupa being a sheath of sensation, & that of perception 
    & so on: & be sufficiently practiced to dig out the Vinnanam  concerned 
    in any overt thought or impression without having  to  perform  a  con-
    scious analysis, & so be distracted from the main subject of  the  med-
    itation.

18. The experimenter  will  learn  to recognize instinctively when  he  has 
    reached the desired result.  It  comes  as a climax with the force of a 
    revelation. I believe it to be useless to continue the experiment after 
    this has occurred. One should start entirely afresh.  i.e.  suppose one 
    gets a revelation in the course  of  the work, which is however not the 
    one required; one should accept  defeat  for  the  moment. The point is 
    that a genuine revelation  exhausts the species of  Energy involved for 
    the time being. The parallel case is the occurrence of orgasm in sexual 
    intercourse. A perfect orgasm should leave no lust:  if one wants to go 
    on, it simply shows that one has failed to collect every element of the 
    personality, & discharge it utterly in a single explosion.