GOOFY-LAND USA: HOLIDAYS
========================

JANUARY:  Martin  Luther  King  Day.  Supposed  to  honor a great
American.  Really, a day for whites to feel  guilty  about  being
white,  and  for  blacks  to  wonder, "Who exactly =did= kill Dr.
King, since it wasn't James Earl Ray?"

FEBRUARY:  Presidents Day. Supposed to honor two great Americans,
George Washington and Abraham  Lincoln.   Really,  a day of "this
day only" furniture sales.  Plenty of commercials with George and
Abe at the fabulous furniture sale.

MARCH:  St. Patrick's Day. Meant to honor Irish memories of  "the
auld sod." Really, a day to get drunk.

APRIL:   Easter.   Meant  for  lofty contemplation on the concept
that God came to  Earth,  lived  as a man, experienced first-hand
what that meant, and triumphed over evil.  Really, a day to dress
up  for  the  "Easter  parade,"  (thereby   benefiting   clothing
merchants).   Also,  a day to give candy to the kids, courtesy of
the "Easter Bunny."

MAY:  Memorial Day. Meant to  be  a day honoring the thousands of
average Americans who gave their lives  in  a  cause  =they=,  at
least,  believed  in.   Really, a 3-day weekend!  Short vacations
and outdoor barbecues.

JUNE:  Flag Day. Meant to  freshen historical memory and pride in
the dream of America.  Really, everyone forgets all about it.

JULY:   Fourth  of  July.    Meant   to  celebrate  our  nation's
independence from the plots, cruelties, ignorance  and  tyrannies
of  the  Old  World  (Europe).   Really,  a day of barbecues, and
parades featuring corporate floats and politicians.  It  will  be
hard  to  turn  this  holiday  into a yearly 3-day weekend; it is
saved from meddling by its very name:  =Fourth= of July.

AUGUST:  No major holiday!  So this month has  the  "create  your
own holiday" holiday:  everyone goes on vacation.

SEPTEMBER:  Labor Day. Meant  to  honor  the American worker, the
actual =producer= of the =real= wealth, which  gets  robbed  from
him  by Monopoly Capitalists and the government.  Really, a 3-day
weekend. Short vacations and outdoor barbecues.

OCTOBER:  Halloween.  A  Satanic  holiday.   Candy  for the kids,
costumes and parties for the adults.

NOVEMBER:    Thanksgiving.   Officially  declared  a  holiday  by
Abraham Lincoln, so that we  might  pause and give thanks for our
many blessings.  Really, national gluttony day.

DECEMBER:  Christmas.  Meant as a day to pause and consider  that
God  cared  enough  about  us  to  be  born  as  a  man.  Really,
materialism reigns.   Spellings  of  "Santa"  and  "Satan" almost
identical.

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