To Main Page 2901 Once upon a time. . . . . . . . I first spurred interest in T.O.P.Y. with the listening of Dreams Less Sweet. After I proceeded to lose that tape to a young lady, I decided to find out more about the sound and reasons of T.O.P.Y. I purchased the live records series, which has proven to be a source of great enjoyment. And I try to forward the ideas of T.O.P.Y. with messages on the dorm door, and I try to play a few songs when I dj at the campus radio station. What I rather liked about T.O.P.Y. was that there was no forcing of ideals on myself the listener. There are, I will not hold back, a few ideals I do not in self practice, because they do not appeal to me, but I will not condescend because someone else may. For the book, I do not experiment with drugs, have sex, or denounce strongly non-pagan religions. Persons may say that I have not lived, but that is someone else's idea of living. If and when I wish to try something, I shall, but until then I am content with myself. I guess the point is that it is a choice, and one must not necessarily make certain choices to be involved with T.O.P.Y. The problem, well wait. Let us stay with that prior thought, about choices, just for a minute. You may have noticed I don't spell certain words the way T.O.P.Y. does; again I do not feel that is important for me to reflect that thought to be considered involved with T.O.P.Y. Anyway, as I was writing, the problem is I am afraid that I may not be able to be as active as I wish in T.O.P.Y. with my schooling, because education is very important to me. So, what I guess I am getting at, is that I will do my best to do what I can. I can only hope that does not sound too "wishy-washy". So, I am, will, try to do my most. How would I explain T.O.P.Y. to a stranger? Simply, a group, tribe of persons who are looking ahead, with little recourse to beliefs or principles that have been embedded, sometimes unwillingly, into society. An aim of reversal, getting people to quit taking for granted what surrounds them, and having them realize they have control of their life, and to use themselves to their potential. Why do I feel T.O.P.Y. is important? Because it serves as a meeting center for those persons who already know what they feel to get stronger centralisation and organisation, and make themselves and their ideas more available to others. It's got a lot to do with the concept of awareness. I guess aims and ideas have been taken care of. Sexuality, again, is an awareness, realizing how present it is, and how it can be made into something more wonderful than expected or known. The Psychick Cross has so much behind it that it is rather hard to sum up its meaning, besides representing a receptor for thought processes. Also, I just rather thought that it could also be seen as a christian cross overlapped by a satanic (inverted christian) cross, and a bar in the middle to cancel the two out, which would go along with the theory of bowing to no god. 23 is something I cannot comment too intelligently on, since I have not the amount of information necessary. I have heard, however, that it is the number of confusion, and actually, I myself have not much more of a 2902 view on it. . .yet. Other resources of my self-determination, defining ideas clearly, patience, art skills (with both pen and words), and desire to communi- cate. --------------------------------------------- Explanation of T.O.P.Y. to a Stranger: I found this question difficult to answer as I do not know enough about T.O.P.Y. People have asked me what it is, so I told them that it is an information network and to contact T.O.P.Y. if interested. However, when pressured I inform them of as much as I can, expanding on the ideas that I know, and state that thee network runs all over thee country and that depending on an individuals involvement information is available to them; that it is up to thee individual, if they want, to becoum involved and that one is not pressured into it. To justify my involvement I would say that T.O.P.Y. has thee same or similar beliefs to those I have always held, but from which I had switched off as it was not "right" in thee conditioned world. --------------------------------------------- On T.O.P.Y. I have played PTV &/or T.O.P.Y. material for many friends, so I am often asked about T.O.P.Y. I tailor the answer to the questioner, telling no more than I think they can follow at the time. Sometimes I describe PTV as a loose aggregate of people working with music and video. I may explain that they are part of a larger organisation which seeks to support people whose aims and interests are outside the mainstream. To people I trust I explain more. That T.O.P.Y. is a network of people with some similarities and some differences, held together by a desire to understand and short-circuit control. To explore ways to make what they want to happen, happen. That T.O.P.Y. encourages people to find out their true natures, not a shallow and generic, dictated and advertised "identity". One method is to exploit the cut-up, both on other material and behaviourally as well. We constantly run on habit, and it is good to break this up. Do you see friend X because you really want to? Or because it's what you always do on Thursday night? A simple but pertinent example. Burroughs has been quoted as saying there was nothing special about 23, just that it was something he noticed and then kept noticing. I see it partly as a symbol of focus. That there is so much around that we screen out daily, if we pick something not to screen out it will seem om- nipresent. I also like the idea of it as a sort of mischievous number, popping up with a will of its own where it has no statistical right. And each time it pops up itself it reminds me of my psychic heritage that I am reclaiming for myself. 2903 I see no particular sexual style that is representative of T.O.P.Y. It is more an aspect of sex itself, that of the power (indeed - OV Power) it contains. A power that can be frustrated by a denial of desire; dissipated by investing it in removed, marketed images; or directed by self-understanding and a ritual method. Since the sex drive is so basic, and since social repression functions here as much or more than anywhere else, sexual magick is a most powerful and empowering technique. The particular interpretations of 23 and the Psychick Cross are not as interesting or important to me as the fact that there are many interpretations. If a cynic - journalist or otherwise - is asking me about T.O.P.Y., I believe it is important not to try too much to defend or to try to convince the person that there's nothing horrid about us. I will, however, try to dispel any basic misconceptions. I have found that so much of what I take for granted is alien to many people that I cannot explain parts of it. As I've noted, it took me a while to understand so many foreign thoughts at once. If pressed by anyone who is obviously hostile to and/or threatened by the ideas, I say "Well, I'm convinced of it, it works for me, and I'm happy." I do not try to "convert" them. If they are unaccepting of it, I give them some things to read, and T.O.P.Y.'s address. --------------------------------------------- T.O.P.Y. is an international network system, a kind of organisation that brings in touch people who share ideas and feel free to do whatever they like, as strange as it may be. That's the reason why T.O.P.Y. is important. In times of loneliness, T.O.P.Y. tries to bring people in touch, tries to bring back the lost innocence, the correspondence among people. T.O.P.Y. hates everything and everyone who tries to limit its freedom. T.O.P.Y. offers a method of living to better survive as a True Being, and as an Individual, and not as part of the maze. Individuality is expressed as Spirit and Will. "Love Under Will" is the meaning. To manage it, T.O.P.Y. edits books, records, video tapes. T.O.P.Y. requires belief in Magick and modern Paganism, and recognises the power of the human brain. The Psychick Cross means to me: Brain (upper bar); Heart (middle bar); Prick - as the home of souls (lower bar). It means the Individual itself, with its three psychic powers: Brain = dreams, fantasy, cleverness; Heart = L.OV.E.; Prick = soul = the power that motivates all the above. The meaning of 23 is a mystic one, and people can only understand it after long thought about T.O.P.Y. --------------------------------------------- T.O.P.Y. is very important to thee continued growth of psychic awareness in thee world. We have progressed physically as far as we can. Thee next stage is mental. T.O.P.Y. offers a series of mental training exercises: awareness (especially ov yourself) is thee goal. There is no obligation, as thee Temple is you. Thee aims are immense. 2904 Education, realisation, principally. Thee Temple can be anything you need from it. 23 is thee pure number, completely random, a prime number. Thee Cross: a reflection of thee ego, a place to focus energy and a simple, comfortable symbol representing a new strength in thee world. --------------------------------------------- Thee Justification ov T.O.P.Y. Last night me and some members ov T.O.P.Y.S.T.E.E.L engaged thee "JESUS ARMY" in verbal confrontation. It was in some ways an awakening experience. It was also an experience which demonstrates thee necessity for T.O.P.Y., PaganLink, O.T.O., etc. To be confronted with thee organised inculcation of GUILT, FEAR and LOATHING in militaristic form demonstrated the need for L.O.V.E. organisations to provide the keys to self-(de)-programming. To be confronted with INTOLERANCE and PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM showed the horrible fate awaiting us if our society/thee earth is taken over by thee forces of PERSONAL LIMITATION. T.O.P.Y. provides a decentralised set of forums for individuals who wish to escape our conditioned guilt and fear responses. It provides outline methods for individuals who wish to acquire self expression, self love, self discipline. T.O.P.Y. is a will/energy focus. It's LOVE transmitting on all frequen- cies. True sexuality is a timeless moment of orgone mutation, thee event where thee subconscious becomes all thee planes, thee times, where it becomes an identity with thee conscious worlds. Liberation is only a heartbeat away. Thee Psychick Cross = pagan Cross. Sexual unions. Tree of Life, qabballahs. Thee planes, all in one. Thee sigil of Temple workings, immanent in this cross, every working ever done before or in thee future, happening now. Thee sigil ov no name, thee blank sheet for our experiences and desires to write upon. 23: No-one has ever satisfactorily explained to me how or why a computer works. But I use one almost every day, and computers always touch my life. Similarly, 23 has not been totally explained to me, even in numerological terms. Not fully anyway. Thee fact remains that 23 seems to have some kind ov recurrent activity, in my experience. That does not mean it will necessarilty be a feature of your experienced universe... 23 attaches itself in its various guises (32, 223, 123, 0-23, etc.) to things I j- and many other YOUTH - are involved with. 23 seems to be a sign of recurrent activity in thee universe, ov unifying themes. --------------------------------------------- Justification of T.O.P.Y. to a cynical interviewer: As rationality has failed to create a new mankind there are other methods to be found of changing minds. The will must come from in- dividuals, who, to reach their aims, gather in a group. 2905 Through the moral conditioning in childhood, school, military and the general influence of language, media and moral systems, men are totally controlled. They control each other, oftenj without even knowing it. The wishes, dreams of the body and subconsciousness are ignored and the subject, so long as there is one, is conditioned to ignore it too. Only functionality is important. Life is shortened to operational functions to serve society. It is degraded to a servant. As I feel unsatisfied by this, I need to escape from this control and want to destroy it. I like to experiment with other aspects of life. In this case, sexuality is an important factor because it gives the individual a total conscience of its own existence. It may help to find the inner self and break pre-formations. I like sexuality. In orgasm, you cross the border. In orgasm you die. Your coming back from another cone of reality after it. The coming to climax is a way to ego-destruction. --------------------------------------------- People are suppressed and conditioned by the socialisation processes of our "society" - education, media, and the family - to believe in certain attitudes and to behave in certain ways. What has happened to individuality and the personality? People should be taught to develop their own-selves and their own personalities - To learn about instinct, nature, consciousness and further heights of awareness, WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN PUSHED FROM OUR MINDS. The human mind is suppressed not to generate its "unacceptable" powers. Meditation, creative visualisation, and MAGICK are important tools which may be used to help bring out our true selves. Sexuality is condemned from an early age. Society as a whole condemns sexuality. It is a beautiful experience - and can prove to be a very powerful and magickal act - generating immense emotion and feeling. The idea of PLEASURE AND PAIN is fundamental to the understanding and experiences of people. Sex can exist within both concepts. People should learn not to be ashamed of their sexuality, and sexually, to share experiences with other individuals. UNDERSTANDING, DEVELOPMENT, AND COMMUNICATION. OUR AIM IS WAKEFULNESS. OUR ENEMY IS DREAMLESS SLEEP --------------------------------------------- Involvement with T.O.P.Y. means that I have broken away from the social graces forced upon me by society. I am finding out what I really enjoy to do, with my mental/physical attributes. I am learning to reach further than before, to grasp the things that were previously beyond my 2906 reach. T.O.P.Y. is a collective of individuals who, in a way, do not want to be part of any group/social type. This is not as hypocritical as it sounds, because each individual within T.O.P.Y. is going his/her own way, each with differing goals, concepts of life. T.O.P.Y. is important because it gives the individuals within a confidence that others are trying to struggle against society. T.O.P.Y. members feel as though they are not the only ones with a different point of view. It gives the individual strength to succeed. T.O.P.Y.'s aim is to help individuals attain their highest dreams, and to help them accomplish their works and wishes in life. --------------------------------------------- T.O.P.Y. allows thee individual a chance to know him/her self. I am not sure if I would be able to explain T.O.P.Y. to a stranger. Recently I was talking to a friend who told me she no longer wanted to be my friend because I was involving myself with T.O.P.Y. She does not believe in anything. Her point is that I would no longer be me and that I didn't need T.O.P.Y.'s ideas to help me with my problems, that in time everything works out in itself. I disagreed with her argument, trying to explain that T.O.P.Y. would help me with the goals that I want to obtain in my life, and that in the past not all my problems have worked out by themself. T.O.P.Y. asks for the individual to be clear in admitting their real desires by discarding all irrelevancies and by asking yourself what do you really want out ov life. The argument with my friend allowed me to see that we were no longer friends and perhaps we never really were. How could we have been friends when she would not allow me to be anymore than I already was nor anything else that I could be. T.O.P.Y. is not there to be occult. But a lot ov people have that misunderstanding. People will always condemn the thoughts and actions ov another. There is someone who I am deeply interested in, who spoke ov tribal living and the ideas ov T.O.P.Y. At that time I had no idea what he was talking about and the shyness that we both have makes it almost impossible to talk to each other. We are barely able to smile and say hello, and I believe thru the Psychick process we will be able to speak again. I will overcome the shyness that keeps me within myself and keeps me from having what I really want from life. T.O.P.Y.'s ideas are for everyone who wants to wake up fromthe dreamless world that we are living in. It's for the individual who asks themself what they want from life, and the rituals are there to make those thoughts happen. "Awareness ov your own energy is the awareness that flesh and spirit are one, that thou art goddess, eternally linked, connected, at one with the moving spirit ov all" (Starhawk 138) T.O.P.Y. is there for thee individual who makes the coumitment to become 2907 aware ov thee energy that is inside us all. . . --------------------------------------------- Magic has interested me from an early age - but I didn't have the best informed beginning. I used to try telekinesis, telepathy, astral projection,even levitation, all with varying degree of complete failure. I had no concentration or confidence, and a very impatient streak. The things I tried to do were very nice "tricks" but many of them are no longer goals of mine. I see no reason now to attempt things for which I had little aptitude, solely to impress others and build up my own social standing. People are so cynical now, and maybe some of it has rubbed off on me. The Temple has shown me a practical side to magick which makes no pretensions, I don't expect to be able to force the hand of chance with minimum effort and concentration and nothing to inform me but a half-read Aquarian Press book. In my future sigil work I shall aim to overcome some of my less attractive tendencies, and build on my natural talents and abilities. My ideal target will be a perfect self and not a material manipulator. Maybe people should expect miracles because I think if you believe in something enough then you are halfway to having it, just as long as it's within and not without yourself. I don't feel that I need to justify my involvement with anything, to anyone. People have an instant dislike and fear of things they don't understand, but worse than this, an aversion to information which could disrupt their secure, boring, featureless lives. To me, many of these people are lost causes, I would prefer that they knew nothing of what I choose to do with my life - which is too precious to spend arguing with people who will never see sense for the simple reason that they don't want to. This may seem a selfish attitude, but the example of Susan Bishop is enough to put me off talking to journalists, and Christians, for life. Let them remain ignorant and happy, they will never change. --------------------------------------------- People like to control you. They want power and they achieve it. These thieves are smart and they work off people's insecurities. CONTROL means dictating how others should live and how to think. If you are afraid of making these decisions for yourself (because of fear of failure, lack of self-confidence, fear of death, and definitely laziness) then it is easy to associate yourself with, and follow someone strong enough to make decisions for you. You are no longer responsible for yourself and no longer have the burden or that responsibility. It is easier to identify oneself with an already developed personality (hero/heroine) than go through the never ending struggle of self-discovery. The insecure robbers who feed off our weaknesses are the ones most people tend to trust: our rabbis and priests who control through strict regulations and traditions, our school teachers who take advantage of the innocence and naivety of young children by presenting themselves and their ideas as manifestations of god, and our media which depicts THE acceptable lifestyle through slanted manipulations. These thieves are aware of your trust and innocence, and intend on using those weaknesses to control you. The Temple Ov Psychick Youth is an organisation aimed at DE-control. They do not wish to control you; they wish to liberate themselves. They 2908 offer suggestions on how you COULD liberate yourself, not how you SHOULD liberate yourself. The process of liberation consists of many types of research, such as the music group PTV. Members of the Temple feel that there is no reason why life should not be "lived to the fullest" where all one's NEEDS and DESIRES are fulfilled. Because there are so many distractions to divert one's attention from one's goals, symbols are invented to be worn, to be drawn, etc., to constantly remind, if not the conscious, then the unconscious, of these goals. Ideally, through this process laziness is combatted and the goals will more likely be achieved since those goals are constantly on the person's mind. Because there are so many distractions and limitations posed by the "controllers", sometimes our deepest wants do not seem earthly possible, and we repress them in our subconscious (a step towards neurosis) trying to dismiss them. The Temple does not believe in repressing our needs and desires (submitting to those "controllers"), because our personal needs are what make us human and individual. The Psychick Cross is the symbol of the "whole" person, uncovering one's unconsciously hidden desires and obtaining them. The unconscious speaks most loudly in our dreams and our fantasies. When we fantasize, our desires usually take place in Utopian settings, and represent these goals by creating collages including parts of our physical body to personalise the symbol of our goal even more. This symbol reminds us over and over again that this is thee want, this is thee self. Temple members using this process end up understanding their needs and desires better, are more able to satisfy themselves and succeed in life. I personally enjoy making decisions and discoveries on my own. I will not allow anyone to take that joy away from me. I enjoy my intelligence, my talents, and discovering myself using the symbolic rituals suggested by the Temple Ov Psychick Youth. T.O.P.Y. is an important organisation because: 1) it shows people they are not alone in the struggle, and 2) it allows people to exchange views, ideas, and solutions to better these processes to liberate and satiate the individual self. 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2909 "What is Paganism" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The following is the text from a brochure that BAPA puts out called "What is Paganism" (author unknown) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "WHAT IS PAGANISM? "History of Paganism ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The term Pagan has numerous common definitions. Many dictionaries define a Pagan as anyone not of the Judeo-Islamic-Christian religions. Some people consider anyone who does not share their religion to be a Pagan. Still others believe that a Pagan is a person who is anti-religion. None of these "definitions" manage to capture the true meaning of the term. "To discover the core meaning of Pagan, we look back to ancient times when the word Pagan referred to a person of the country, or a peasant. {deletia... in summary, several paragraphs relating the history of the Catholic Church and the poor peasants' inability to relate. Brief description of the "glory of the Goddess and God in each starry night" and note of the inconsistancies of the original Pagan beliefs with the Catholic church. Also, several paragraphs detailing the development of of the Church's campaign to expunge Paganism, some of the methods employed and the subsequent Witch Hunts. Finally, an overall summary of the persecution. If interested, let me know and I'll post it separately.} "Paganism in Modern Times ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Today, little is known about the Pagans who survived what is now often called "The Burning Times." Paganism, as it exists today, is best described as the practice of any of a number of nature-based religions, traditions that find their roots all over the world. {Liana- sound familiar?} Many modern Pagans call themselves "Neo-Pagans" to declare their religion as a revival of the old beliefs. {more deletia... in summary, two paragraphs comparing contemporary Pagans to the peasants of old, extolling our intelligence and involvement in technology. Also a paragraph defusing the Satanism comparison. Again, if interested, let me know and I'll post it.} "What do Modern Pagans Believe? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Paganism is actually a large umbrella containing a number of nature-based religions beneath it, from the European-originated Wicca and Druidism, to African Yoruba traditions and Hawaiian Huna. As a result of this diversity, it is impossible to make statements about the beliefs of Pagans that will apply to *all* {italics} Pagans. However, some statements can be made that will, in general, apply to a vast number of Pagans. 2910 "Many Pagans tend to: "* Be polytheists, believing in more than one deity or more than one aspect of a single deity. "* Be pantheists, seeing the God/Goddess force represented in everything around them. "* Recognize the divinity of the feminine as well as the masculine, not seeing masculinity as a superior force. "* Believe that the life force is sacred, and that nature, as a vital representation of that force, is divine. "* Believe that all life forms are equal, sharing an equal claim to the earth as a home. "* Believe that each individual is solely responsible for his or her actions. "* Believe that the forces of nature can be shaped in ways commonly called "magical." "* Believe that magical acts designed to bend one to another's will are manipulative, and not encouraged. "* Believe that whatever actions a person takes, magical or mundane, good or bad, come back to him/her, sometimes threefold. "* Believe that there is no single path to spiritual fulfillment, and that the individual must determine the spiritual expression most appropriate to him or her. "* Believe in reincarnation, or some form of life after death. "How do Pagans Practice Their Religion? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Many Pagans find spiritual expression through the practice of ritual, or religious ceremony. These rituals, often held at significant points in lunar or solar cycles, offer an opportunity for Pagans to commune with the godeesses and Gods, to celebrate the passages of life, and to work magic. {deletia... in summary, paragraphs relating techniques to "raise power" explaining that we don't espouse "power over" (my words). Also outlines goals that many pagans have in mine when raising of power. Outlines the sabbats, and relates the pattern of the seasons. Briefly describes Beltane and Samhain. Once again, let me know if you would like to see this text.} "Each Pagan religion has its own special way of recognizing the passing of the seasons and personal life passages. Ritual offers a way to imbue these moments with magic and reverence. {deletia... last paragraph giving information on how the reader can learn more about Paganism, specifically in the Bay Area, and relating the goal that BAPA has in mind.} 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2911 PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA * or * How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER Wherein Is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything Published By: LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED PO BOX 1197 Port Townsend, WA 98368 $5.00(cheap) Catalogs:$2.00 Transcribed to 1's and 0's by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian Society Cabal of the Unemployed mpython@gnu.ai.mit.edu {calendar entered by /AHM/THX } ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ INTRODUCTION You hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century fnord. Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill. In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In 1970,hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept across the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St. Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts, one heard. No,said another legend -- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very intriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon, who had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity. I enjoyed each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I was also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually written the whole thing myself during an acid trip. The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's, thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there. 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2912 When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob Shea, and I both received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several chapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies, asked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies available. Others wrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way H.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our moods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful lies and myths we could devise fnord. Why not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus immortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet discovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage the mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote to ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told them he had, except on Fridays whem I am more whimsical, in which case I told them it had been transmitted by a canine intellgence -- vast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius. Now, at last, the truth can be told. Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling anthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us as a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great Seal of the United States. I have it on good authority that he is one of the most accomplished time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many times in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias, Emperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc. Whenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman and that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial and extratemporal origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a time-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could observe us without his presense causing cultureshock. I understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to this edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but don't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan put-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the branches of guerilla ontology. For full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in conjunc- tion with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press, Albuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on many levels here", as Ken Kesey used to say. In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time. Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord? -Robert Anton Wilson International Arms and Hashish Inc. 2913 Darra Bazar, Kohat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A jug of wine, A leg of lamb And thou! Beside me, Whistling in the darkness. Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order... - The Book of Uterus 1;5 Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPAT- CH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTER- GALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP. GREATER POOP:Are you really serious or what? MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant. GP: Maybe you are just crazy. M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true. GP: Is Eris true? M2: Everything is true. GP: Even false things? M2: Even false things are true. GP: How can that be? M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it. GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives? M2: To dissolve them. GP: Will you develop that point? M2: No. GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE? M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax." GP: Is that the answer to my question? M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX! 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2914 SUSPENDED ANNIHILATION ODD# II/2,xii;68Chs3136 Principia Discordia or How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her When I found Her being a Beginning Introduction to The Erisian Mysterees Which is Most Interesting -><- as Divinely Revealed to My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold and HIGH PRIEST of THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! Dedicated to The Prettiest One The Upstart of one hand clapping - JOSHUA NORTON CABAL - Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee POEE is one manifestation of THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY about which you will learn more and understand less We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns, and similar maniacs who are intrigued with ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION and with Her Doings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2915 I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star! -Nietzsche THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF) The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down. KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH! I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm. II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System. III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns). IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub. V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he reads. IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED. Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A ZEN STORY by Camden Benares, The Count of Five Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of 2916 the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was fre- quently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead." Hearing this, the man was enlightened. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Western Union Telegram To: Jehova Yahweh Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666) Presidential Tier, Paradise Dear God; This is to inform you that your current position as diety is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP Please do not use me for a reference Respectfully, Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather POEE High Priest ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10. The Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains. 11. Indeed do many things come to pass. HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19 - THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT - THE REVELATION Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant.... Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and 2917 they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion." FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU WITH FAIRY DUST Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned. The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped. There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men. "Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!" And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness. ERIS - GODDESS OF CHAOS, DISCORD & CONFUSION They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private. They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice: I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My conscious- ness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by 2918 misunderstanding. You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun. I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free. During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order. With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them: It is called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland. "What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!" And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be. "There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true." -Neils Bohr "Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?" "But there is no house next door." "No? Then let's go build one!" -MARX Fnord Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2919 St. Trinian's SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE Sewing Circle THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY by Lord Omar VERSE Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao; It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb; Her Apple Corps is strong! CHORUS Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Her Apple Corps is strong! VERSE She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;* So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek! O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak; Her Apple Corps is strong! * "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks "Ol' Limb' Peak." If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...? "The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses" -Gen. Geo. A. Custer People in a Position to Know, Inc. ON PRAYER Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words: No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood. "Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill" (Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison) 2920 14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path. THE PURPLE SAGE HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19 Heaven is down. Hell is up. This is proven by the fact that the planets and stars are orderly in their movements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS while down on earth The meaning of this is unknown we come close to the primal chaos. There are four other proofs, but I forget them. -Josh the Dill King Kong Kabal IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks. DO NOT CIRCULATE! What We Know About ERIS (not much) The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms. Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that. One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic mat- ters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know." Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times. *THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If youhave trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of 2921 the Pineal Gland" DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS -Horace ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2922 THE INSIDE STORY! The Law of Fives the Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus. POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Il- luminated Seers of Bavaria. The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5. The Law of Fives is never wrong. In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look." Please do not use this document as toilet tissue The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun shines by day because, being a woman, it is afraid to venture out at night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly too." - John Kenneth Galbraith THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.* This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog. Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphro- dite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything. Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris. Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed. 2923 As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Pariscould have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Mene- laus,King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men. And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns. Do you believe that? ------------------------------------- * This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB ** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metalic gold or acapulco. *** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives. REMEMBER: KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS Ho Chi Zen is King Cong 5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced Balance. 6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance,or Stagnation, is attained. 7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth, finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance. HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do You Remember? 1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the ______ of _____. 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2924 An Erisian Hymn by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS Onwards Christian Soldiers, Onwards Buddhist Priests. Onward, Fruits of Islam, Fight till you're deceased. Fight your little battles. Join in thickest fray; For the Greater Glory, of Dis-cord-i-a. Yah, yah, yah, Yah, yah, yah, yah. Blfffffffffffft! Mr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose,has been exposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who has been doing all this nose swallowing. Heute Die Welt Morgens das Sonnensystem! Abbey of the Barbarous Relic ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Official Proclamation -- ODD# III(b)/4,i;18Aft3135 -------------------------------------------------- POEE DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX V) The House of Apostle of ERIS For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia A. The Five Apostles of ERIS B. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC) C. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society D. POEE Cabal Priests E. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages IV) The House of the Rising Podge for the Disciples of Discordia A. Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather B. Council of POEE Priests C. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD D. Eristic Avatars E. Aneristic Avatars III) The House of the Rising Hodge For the Bureaucracy A. the Bureau of Erisian Archives B. the Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and The Division of Dogmas C. The Bureau of Symbols,Emblems, Certificates and Such D. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The Administry for The Unenlightened Eristic Horde 2925 E. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the Administry for the Orders of Discordia II) The House of the Rising Collapse For the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the Dis- couragement of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton A. The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity B. The Breeze of Integrity and/or The Wind of Arrogance C. The Breeze of Beauty and/or The Wind of Outrages D. The Breeze of Love and/or The Wind of Bombast E. The Breeze of Laughter and/or The Wind of Bullshit I) The Out House For what is left over A. Miscellaneous Avatars B. The Fifth Column C. POEE =POPES= everywhere D. Drawer "O" for OUT OF FILE E. Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths -><- OFFICIAL - POEE Head Temple, San Francisco HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE Bureau of The POEE Epistolary ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ = THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS = The official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any similar device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON POINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may be elaborated or simplified as desired. The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly shortened to THE HAND. \ / -----><----- / \ NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize horns, especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the "horns" are supported by another set, of inverted "horns". Or maybe it is walrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell the truth. "Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it" -Breton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -><- POEE -><- POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHO- OD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity,reversity beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us. 2926 MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold]. The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2. POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one scruple-- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain. POEE has not registered,incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State. POEE has 5 DEGREES: There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE. The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on. An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN. The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather. And POEE =POPE=. POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=. " This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out." -Lichtenberg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Application For Membership In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIA SOCIETY 1. Today's date Yesterday's Date 2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord b. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC! 3. Name_________________________ Holy Name_____________ Address_____________________________________________________________ (If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded) 4. Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2 []other Height: ..... fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason: Race: []horse []human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300 5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from 2927 which you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled "confidential" list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24 hours 6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because .......... I have ceased raping little children []yes []no -- reason .......... 7. Self Portrait Rev. Mungo For Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned LICK HERE!!! * (You may be one of the lucky 25) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -><- POEE & It's Priests If you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may wish to form your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly what you think it is. The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once in a while, he even listens. Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the section "Discordian Society" ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained? An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who holds an Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather." 2928 Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise! Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know What's in a Chao and why it ain't so! (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ World Council of Churches Boutique Note to POEE Priests: The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market place. The Hidden stone ripens fast, then laid bare like a turnip can easily be cut out at last but even then the danger isn't past. That man lives best who's fain to live half mad, half sane. -Flemish Poet Jan Van Stijevoort, 1524. The Erisian Affirmation BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds: ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! find the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods Within your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow; POEE Holy Cow, and Wholly Chao -Rev. Dr. Grindlebone Monroe Cabal "common sense is what tells you that the world is flat." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach. ________________________________________________________________________ 2929 Legion of Dynamic Discord HARK RECOGNIZE that the -- DISCORDIAN SOCIETY -- doth hereby certify As a Legionnaire Glory to We Children of ERIS Presented under the auspices of our Lady of Discord, ERIS by the House of the Apostles of ERIS. -><- ________________________________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOW TO START A POEE CABAL WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER If you can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want anything to do with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Certificate. The words you are now reading are your ordination. HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN 1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies. 2. Sign and nose-print each copy. 3. Send one to the President of the United States. 4. Send one to The California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding 1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814 5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other. Then consult your pineal gland. General License was Sgt. Pepper's Commander ~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~ When in Doubt, Fuck it. When not in Doubt... get in Doubt! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trip 5! 2930 = The POEE Baptismal Rite = This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony. 1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something. 2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians. 3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designa- tions, offices, &tc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye: 1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING? The Initiate answers YES. 2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers YES. 3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED? He answers YES. 4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT? The Initiate answers PROBABLY. 5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME: (The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.) The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES! 4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present. 5) The Ceremony generally degenerates. Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway. DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP 3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y' know. 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2931 HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2 Answers: 1. Harry Houdini 2. Swing Music 3. Pretzels 4. 8 months 5. Testy Culbert 6. It protrudes. 7. No vocal cords ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH G3400 50 The Initiate swears the following: DMTS 19 FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!! (Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German: FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE! or perhaps WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!! which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.) THE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF '44. Corrections to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan's name is not Randy, but mud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb. "This statement is false" (courtesy of POEE) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME! THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY The Discordian Society has no definition. I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like. AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what he says. 2932 THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect. If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't. There are no rules anywhere. Some Episkoposes The Goddess Prevails. have a one-man cabal. Some work together. Some never do explain. When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see you again! Helter Skelter! -John Lennon "Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME" -Rev Lady Mal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names. It says little, does less, means nothing. * Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first. - The Numeral V sign - Used by Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent Hippies everywhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PERPETUAL DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR Seasons 1) Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Mung 2) Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo 3) Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti 4) Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud 5) The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Days of the Week* * The DAYS OF THE WEEK 1) Sweetmorn are named from the five Basic Elements: 2) Boomtime SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE 3) Pungenday 4) Prickle-Prickle 5) Setting Orange 2933 HOLYDAYS A) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B) SEASON HOLYDAYS 1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux 2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux 3) Syaday 3) Confuflux 4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux 5) Maladay 5) Afflux Each occurs on the 5th Each occurs on the 50th day of the Season day of each Season C) ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos SM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Jan 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5 6 7 8 9 40 41 42 43 44 Cfn 6 7 8 9 10 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48 49 11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 50 51 52 53 54 16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 24 55 56 57 58 59 21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25 26 27 28 29 60 61 62 63 64 26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30 31 1 2 3 65 66 67 68 69 31 1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5 6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1 Bcy Feb 5 6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13 2 3 4 5 6 10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14 15 16 17 18 7 8 9 10 11 15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19 20 21 22 23 12 13 14 15 16 20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24 25 26 27 28 17 18 19 20 21 25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29 30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25 26 Mar 2 3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4 5 6 7 27 28 29 30 31 7 8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11 12 32 33 34 35 36 12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc 13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39 40 41 17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7 18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45 46 22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50 51 27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28 29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55 56 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2934 Apr 1 2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4 5 6 7 57 58 59 60 61 6 7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8 9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66 11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13 14 15 16 17 67 68 69 70 71 16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18 19 20 21 22 72 73 1 2 3 Afm 21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23 24 25 26 27 4 5 6 7 8 26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28 29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12 13 May 1 2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3 4 5 6 14 15 16 17 18 6 7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7 8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23 11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12 13 14 15 16 24 25 26 27 28 16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17 18 19 20 21 29 30 31 32 33 21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22 23 24 25 26 34 35 36 37 38 26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2 3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42 43 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Dec 2 3 4 5 6 44 45 46 47 48 Jun 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11 49 50 51 52 53 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12 13 14 15 16 54 55 56 57 58 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17 18 19 20 21 59 60 61 62 63 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22 23 24 25 26 64 65 66 67 68 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71 72 73 30 1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157][Next St. Tibs Day in 3158] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOLY NAMES Discordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not unique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI? Will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return it. 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2935 THE BEARER OF THIS CARD IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED ~ POPE ~ So please Treat Him Right GOOD FOREVER Genuine and authorized by The House of Apostles of ERIS ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope Reproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE Head Temple, San Francisco A =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For Your Enlightenment THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further considera- tion and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice. And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter. "The Five Laws have root in awareness." --Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85) The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't. HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES? 2936 "O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!" WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL. "I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe." WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? "But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it." OH. WELL, THEN STOP. At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species. SINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS =THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE = 1. HUNG MUNG A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinee. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5. 2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19. [NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second Apostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits. 3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly called just SRI SYADASTI His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type Discordians. Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not the same person but is the same 2937 Apostle. 4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed "Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12 5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or middle earth), who followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read "DOOM". (This is a misunderstanding. The sign actually read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.) Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24. All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette. The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaning- less in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Man...Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he's drunk. THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement and How it was Revealed to Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of the Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch From the Honest Book of Truth THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1 1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an Honest Book. 2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and ,lying in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods. 3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of Mullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and 2938 five nights, but found no book. 4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had uncovered on the first day of his labors. 5. Omar slept. 6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a Golden Chest. 7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods. 8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit,man? What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better wages? 9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights. 10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box containing many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon others nothing was written. 11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CONVENTIONAL CHAOS GREYFACE In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it. It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more 2939 seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own. The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now. It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that's beautiful. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Climb into the Chao with a friend or two And follow the Way it carries you, Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew Over the Waves in whatever you do. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3) [graphic deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat... DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"* THE BOOK OF UTERUS from the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar 1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge. 2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be. 3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge. 4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose. 5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifes- tation of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion - that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of Thud. 6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. 7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was 2940 hence called Discordia. 8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage. 9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws. 10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS! 11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen. ____________________________ * This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III - HISTORY #6, "HISTORIC CYCLES," which states that social progress occurs in five cycles, the first three ("The Tricycle") of which are THESIS, ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and the last two ("the Bicycle") of which are CONSTER- NATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE. ** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen. Dull but Sincere Filler ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation of Disorder!" [H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6] THE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA ("THEM") Gen. Pandaemonium, Commanding The seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early disciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over emphasizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to the necessary compliment, the Principle of Disorder. The Orders are composed of persons all hung up on authority, security and control; i.e., they are blinded by the Aneristic Illusion. They do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia. But we know. 1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This is for all the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world. 2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved for lawmakers, censors, and like ilk. 3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit schools and universities, and dominate many of them. 4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. This is mostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, political, academic and sacred Orders. 2941 5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about the D.L., but they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface himself. It is known that they now have absolute domination over all organized churches in the world. It is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages and passing them off as human beings. A person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a flag of the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment-- just as long as it is a flag. Don't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton. HIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4 Go To Your Left-Right.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and experimentally-- that the universe, by its nature, is "running down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation. That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order. The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought. It applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing. The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order. IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT! -Rev. Thomas, Gnostic N.Y.C. Cabal Personal PLANETARY Pi, which I discovered, is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts unknown to science. For example, multiply nude earth's circum- ference 24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon's orbit around the earth. This is slightly less than the actual distance because we have not yet considered earth's atmosphere. So be it. 2942 Christopher Garth, Evanston "I should have been a plumber." --Albert Einstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken" -Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect = ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT = Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his fol- lowers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing. "Tell me, you dumb beast." demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?" Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".* Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese. * "MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING TAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SACRED CHAO THE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge. HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS. If you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it. The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper that is the level of distinction making. 2943 With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about- -reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the level of concept. We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle. Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other. DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysical- ly arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION. The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear dif- ferently ordered and disordered. Reality is the original Rorschach. Verily! So much for all that. The words of the Foolish and those of the Wise Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1) The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, "KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle. The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one,, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords 2944 with THE LAW OF FIVES. THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. -Patamunzo Lingananda It is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies. ____________________________________ * The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras. [diagram of HODGE/PODGE TRANSFORMER deleted... DtC] 5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying "I do not know! I do not know!" HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRUNSWICK SHRINE In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time. In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It All. It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five times over, than shall the world come to an end: IMPENDING DOOM HAS ARRIVED And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days. As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually going. ___________________________________ * Or maybe it was 1958, I forget. 2945 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which Is Real? * * * * * Do these 5 pebbles [note: they were pebbles,originally..try doing ASCII pebbles -DtC] REALLY form a pentagon? Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star. An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5. The real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about "it" is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST. Convictions cause convicts. Can you chart the COURSE to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART? Hemlock? I never touch the stuff! When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired a split beaver magazine. You can imagine my disappointment when,upon examination of the photos with a microscope, I found that all I could see was dots. 7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2946 ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS ------------------------------------Pun-jab is Sikh, Sikh, Sikh!-------- THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) A Non-prophet Irreligious Disorganization MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold HIGH PRIEST THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS (X) Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1 pages Official Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a ( ) the Golden Apple Corps (X)House of Disciples of Discordia The Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS ( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE ( ) Drawer o ________________________________________________________________________ Today's DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday's DATE: Yes -><- Originating Cabal: Joshua Norton Cabal - San Francisco TO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado Encrustation Brother Ram, Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some observations of my own, ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use. >From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect, similar to SIRE. And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125. FIVE TONS OF FLAX! -><- Mal-2 Not for Circulation! KALLISTI HAIL ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA safeguard this letter, it may be an important document Form No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134 2947 DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY" which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus) In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one (the smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON-BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the great number of things that do not exist with the comparatively small number of things that do exist.) Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period-- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non-existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.) At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them andordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arosefrom this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself bycreating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which delighted Her. Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder (previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not. "Hah," She thought, "Here shall be a new game." And She taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself, "ERISTIC" because Being is anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for Her lonely sister, She named the other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them. Now all of this time, Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had created only physical existence and physical non-existence, and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all. 2948 When the sisters heard this, they both confronted Void and pleaded that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus: That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep. "Why are you despondent?" demanded Void, "Your new brother will have his share with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non-Being." "I see,"replied Void, "Then I decree the follow- ing: "When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself." And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus. "Everything is true - Everything is permissible!" -><- -Hassan i Sabbah ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane. A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT Written, in some sense, by Mal-2 Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is much enhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all participants chanting the English. it also behooves one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position. It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of his gourd. RUB-A-DUB-DUB O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung. SYA-DASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo. SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud. SYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal. SYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik. SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia. RUB-A-DUB-DUB 2949 It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles, which ever comes first. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Classification of Saints 1. SAINT SECOND CLASS To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St.Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE shrine.) THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION. 2. LANCE SAINT Good Saint material and definitely inspiring. Example: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller) 3. LIEUTENANT SAINT Excellent Goddess-Saturated Saint. Example: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes) 4. BRIGADIER SAINT Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or factual). Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut) 5. FIVE STAR SAINT The Five Apostles of Eris. Note: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about Saints. Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a hand full understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton. -Slogan of NORTON CABAL - S.F. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TESTS BY DOCTORS PROVE IT POSSIBLE TO SHRINK =ON OCCULTISM= Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness through assimilation and control of universal opposites-- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritualism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman, occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS. Magicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an 2950 essential metaphysical balance. when magicians learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man's endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY. This is an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western occult thought, and POEE is humbly pleased to offer the first break- through in occultism since Solomon. "Study Demonology with an Enemy This Sunday" sez Thom,Gnos ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM 1) Om your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your birth time and date of observation, count all visible stars. 2) When you have done this, write to me and I'll tell you what to do next. The Eminent 16th Century Mathemetician Cardan so detested Luther that he altered Luther's birthdate to give him an unfavorable horoscope. The theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take seats at random around a circular table bearing place cards with their names, it is always possible to rotate the table until at least two people are opposite their cards. Assume the contrary. Let N be the even number of persons, and let their names be replaced by the integers 0 to N-1 "in such a way that the place cards are numbered in sequence around the table. If a delegate D originally sits down to a place card P, then the table must be rotated R steps before he is correctly seated, where R=P-D, unless this is negative, in which case R=P-D+N. The collection of values of D (and of P) for all delegates is clearly the integers 0 to N-1,each taken once, but so also is the collection of values of R, or else two delegates would be correctly seated at the same time. Summing the above equations, one for each delegate, gives S-S+NK, where K is an integer and S=N(N-1)/2, the sum of the integers from 0 to N-1. It follows that N=2K+1, an odd number." This contradicts the original assumption. "I actually solved this problem some years ago," Rybicki writes, "for a different but completely equivalent problem, a generalization of the nonattacking 'eight queens' problem for a cylindrical chessboard where diagonal attack is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only 2951 accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder. The Curse of Greyface included the division of life into order/disorder as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of building a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to endure the destructive aspects of order and has prevented man from effectively participating in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfortunate division. POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable. Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to the evil Curse of Greyface, THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just protection. The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a timely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be achieved. CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive motivation is essential for self-protection. TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE: Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fis- ticuffs. Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! The results will be instantly apparent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2952 A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to: THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add: THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with: THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to: THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SINK A GAME by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk. PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing... in water or mud or anything you; can sink something in. RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers - bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be used. TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air first. DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing "SINK" to help find more objects to sink, once; one object is sunk. 2953 UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or something equally as thoughtful. NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk Columbus, Ohio!" "In a way, we're a kind of Peace Corps." - Maj. A. Lincoln German, Training Director of the Green Beret Special Warfare School, Ft. Bragg, N.C. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Joint Effort of the Discordian Society POST OFFICE LIBERATION FRONT Export License Not Required THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS! In the meantime - plant your seeds. If a lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted. Plant your seeds. In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read up on it first for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in water for a day and plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't worry much about the weather, they know when the weather is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and flourish. But some of them need people's help to get started. Plant your seeds. Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even different countries. If you would rather not, then please pass this copy on to someone and perhaps they would like to. THERE IS NO TRUTH to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course, from your seed's point of view. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. "How come a woodpecker doesn't bash its brains out?" A. Nobody has ever explained that. Mary Jane says "Plant Your Seeds. Keep Prices Down." "And God said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of the earth... to you it shall be for meat." -Genesis 1:29 2954 Questions Have a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the unit on "Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs" that he enjoyed. Name some causes of disturbance in your school. Chapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS --Lord Omar 1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM! 2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to fight alone. 3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and sink holes. 4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten? 5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tribulation as have yer baseless warnings. DESPITE strong evidence to the contrary, persistant rumor has it that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the summer of '44. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様様 2955 BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L.