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2901 Once upon a time. . . . . . . . I first spurred interest in T.O.P.Y. with the listening of Dreams Less Sweet. After I proceeded to lose that tape to a young lady, I decided to find out more about the sound and reasons of T.O.P.Y. I purchased the live records series, which has proven to be a source of great enjoyment. And I try to forward the ideas of T.O.P.Y. with messages on the dorm door, and I try to play a few songs when I dj at the campus radio station. What I rather liked about T.O.P.Y. was that there was no forcing of ideals on myself the listener. There are, I will not hold back, a few ideals I do not in self practice, because they do not appeal to me, but I will not condescend because someone else may. For the book, I do not experiment with drugs, have sex, or denounce strongly non-pagan religions. Persons may say that I have not lived, but that is someone else's idea of living. If and when I wish to try something, I shall, but until then I am content with myself. I guess the point is that it is a choice, and one must not necessarily make certain choices to be involved with T.O.P.Y. The problem, well wait. Let us stay with that prior thought, about choices, just for a minute. You may have noticed I don't spell certain words the way T.O.P.Y. does; again I do not feel that is important for me to reflect that thought to be considered involved with T.O.P.Y. Anyway, as I was writing, the problem is I am afraid that I may not be able to be as active as I wish in T.O.P.Y. with my schooling, because education is very important to me. So, what I guess I am getting at, is that I will do my best to do what I can. I can only hope that does not sound too "wishy-washy". So, I am, will, try to do my most. How would I explain T.O.P.Y. to a stranger? Simply, a group, tribe of persons who are looking ahead, with little recourse to beliefs or principles that have been embedded, sometimes unwillingly, into society. An aim of reversal, getting people to quit taking for granted what surrounds them, and having them realize they have control of their life, and to use themselves to their potential. Why do I feel T.O.P.Y. is important? Because it serves as a meeting center for those persons who already know what they feel to get stronger centralisation and organisation, and make themselves and their ideas more available to others. It's got a lot to do with the concept of awareness. I guess aims and ideas have been taken care of. Sexuality, again, is an awareness, realizing how present it is, and how it can be made into something more wonderful than expected or known. The Psychick Cross has so much behind it that it is rather hard to sum up its meaning, besides representing a receptor for thought processes. Also, I just rather thought that it could also be seen as a christian cross overlapped by a satanic (inverted christian) cross, and a bar in the middle to cancel the two out, which would go along with the theory of bowing to no god. 23 is something I cannot comment too intelligently on, since I have not the amount of information necessary. I have heard, however, that it is the number of confusion, and actually, I myself have not much more of a 2902 view on it. . .yet. Other resources of my self-determination, defining ideas clearly, patience, art skills (with both pen and words), and desire to communi- cate. --------------------------------------------- Explanation of T.O.P.Y. to a Stranger: I found this question difficult to answer as I do not know enough about T.O.P.Y. People have asked me what it is, so I told them that it is an information network and to contact T.O.P.Y. if interested. However, when pressured I inform them of as much as I can, expanding on the ideas that I know, and state that thee network runs all over thee country and that depending on an individuals involvement information is available to them; that it is up to thee individual, if they want, to becoum involved and that one is not pressured into it. To justify my involvement I would say that T.O.P.Y. has thee same or similar beliefs to those I have always held, but from which I had switched off as it was not "right" in thee conditioned world. --------------------------------------------- On T.O.P.Y. I have played PTV &/or T.O.P.Y. material for many friends, so I am often asked about T.O.P.Y. I tailor the answer to the questioner, telling no more than I think they can follow at the time. Sometimes I describe PTV as a loose aggregate of people working with music and video. I may explain that they are part of a larger organisation which seeks to support people whose aims and interests are outside the mainstream. To people I trust I explain more. That T.O.P.Y. is a network of people with some similarities and some differences, held together by a desire to understand and short-circuit control. To explore ways to make what they want to happen, happen. That T.O.P.Y. encourages people to find out their true natures, not a shallow and generic, dictated and advertised "identity". One method is to exploit the cut-up, both on other material and behaviourally as well. We constantly run on habit, and it is good to break this up. Do you see friend X because you really want to? Or because it's what you always do on Thursday night? A simple but pertinent example. Burroughs has been quoted as saying there was nothing special about 23, just that it was something he noticed and then kept noticing. I see it partly as a symbol of focus. That there is so much around that we screen out daily, if we pick something not to screen out it will seem om- nipresent. I also like the idea of it as a sort of mischievous number, popping up with a will of its own where it has no statistical right. And each time it pops up itself it reminds me of my psychic heritage that I am reclaiming for myself. 2903 I see no particular sexual style that is representative of T.O.P.Y. It is more an aspect of sex itself, that of the power (indeed - OV Power) it contains. A power that can be frustrated by a denial of desire; dissipated by investing it in removed, marketed images; or directed by self-understanding and a ritual method. Since the sex drive is so basic, and since social repression functions here as much or more than anywhere else, sexual magick is a most powerful and empowering technique. The particular interpretations of 23 and the Psychick Cross are not as interesting or important to me as the fact that there are many interpretations. If a cynic - journalist or otherwise - is asking me about T.O.P.Y., I believe it is important not to try too much to defend or to try to convince the person that there's nothing horrid about us. I will, however, try to dispel any basic misconceptions. I have found that so much of what I take for granted is alien to many people that I cannot explain parts of it. As I've noted, it took me a while to understand so many foreign thoughts at once. If pressed by anyone who is obviously hostile to and/or threatened by the ideas, I say "Well, I'm convinced of it, it works for me, and I'm happy." I do not try to "convert" them. If they are unaccepting of it, I give them some things to read, and T.O.P.Y.'s address. --------------------------------------------- T.O.P.Y. is an international network system, a kind of organisation that brings in touch people who share ideas and feel free to do whatever they like, as strange as it may be. That's the reason why T.O.P.Y. is important. In times of loneliness, T.O.P.Y. tries to bring people in touch, tries to bring back the lost innocence, the correspondence among people. T.O.P.Y. hates everything and everyone who tries to limit its freedom. T.O.P.Y. offers a method of living to better survive as a True Being, and as an Individual, and not as part of the maze. Individuality is expressed as Spirit and Will. "Love Under Will" is the meaning. To manage it, T.O.P.Y. edits books, records, video tapes. T.O.P.Y. requires belief in Magick and modern Paganism, and recognises the power of the human brain. The Psychick Cross means to me: Brain (upper bar); Heart (middle bar); Prick - as the home of souls (lower bar). It means the Individual itself, with its three psychic powers: Brain = dreams, fantasy, cleverness; Heart = L.OV.E.; Prick = soul = the power that motivates all the above. The meaning of 23 is a mystic one, and people can only understand it after long thought about T.O.P.Y. --------------------------------------------- T.O.P.Y. is very important to thee continued growth of psychic awareness in thee world. We have progressed physically as far as we can. Thee next stage is mental. T.O.P.Y. offers a series of mental training exercises: awareness (especially ov yourself) is thee goal. There is no obligation, as thee Temple is you. Thee aims are immense. 2904 Education, realisation, principally. Thee Temple can be anything you need from it. 23 is thee pure number, completely random, a prime number. Thee Cross: a reflection of thee ego, a place to focus energy and a simple, comfortable symbol representing a new strength in thee world. --------------------------------------------- Thee Justification ov T.O.P.Y. Last night me and some members ov T.O.P.Y.S.T.E.E.L engaged thee "JESUS ARMY" in verbal confrontation. It was in some ways an awakening experience. It was also an experience which demonstrates thee necessity for T.O.P.Y., PaganLink, O.T.O., etc. To be confronted with thee organised inculcation of GUILT, FEAR and LOATHING in militaristic form demonstrated the need for L.O.V.E. organisations to provide the keys to self-(de)-programming. To be confronted with INTOLERANCE and PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM showed the horrible fate awaiting us if our society/thee earth is taken over by thee forces of PERSONAL LIMITATION. T.O.P.Y. provides a decentralised set of forums for individuals who wish to escape our conditioned guilt and fear responses. It provides outline methods for individuals who wish to acquire self expression, self love, self discipline. T.O.P.Y. is a will/energy focus. It's LOVE transmitting on all frequen- cies. True sexuality is a timeless moment of orgone mutation, thee event where thee subconscious becomes all thee planes, thee times, where it becomes an identity with thee conscious worlds. Liberation is only a heartbeat away. Thee Psychick Cross = pagan Cross. Sexual unions. Tree of Life, qabballahs. Thee planes, all in one. Thee sigil of Temple workings, immanent in this cross, every working ever done before or in thee future, happening now. Thee sigil ov no name, thee blank sheet for our experiences and desires to write upon. 23: No-one has ever satisfactorily explained to me how or why a computer works. But I use one almost every day, and computers always touch my life. Similarly, 23 has not been totally explained to me, even in numerological terms. Not fully anyway. Thee fact remains that 23 seems to have some kind ov recurrent activity, in my experience. That does not mean it will necessarilty be a feature of your experienced universe... 23 attaches itself in its various guises (32, 223, 123, 0-23, etc.) to things I j- and many other YOUTH - are involved with. 23 seems to be a sign of recurrent activity in thee universe, ov unifying themes. --------------------------------------------- Justification of T.O.P.Y. to a cynical interviewer: As rationality has failed to create a new mankind there are other methods to be found of changing minds. The will must come from in- dividuals, who, to reach their aims, gather in a group. 2905 Through the moral conditioning in childhood, school, military and the general influence of language, media and moral systems, men are totally controlled. They control each other, oftenj without even knowing it. The wishes, dreams of the body and subconsciousness are ignored and the subject, so long as there is one, is conditioned to ignore it too. Only functionality is important. Life is shortened to operational functions to serve society. It is degraded to a servant. As I feel unsatisfied by this, I need to escape from this control and want to destroy it. I like to experiment with other aspects of life. In this case, sexuality is an important factor because it gives the individual a total conscience of its own existence. It may help to find the inner self and break pre-formations. I like sexuality. In orgasm, you cross the border. In orgasm you die. Your coming back from another cone of reality after it. The coming to climax is a way to ego-destruction. --------------------------------------------- People are suppressed and conditioned by the socialisation processes of our "society" - education, media, and the family - to believe in certain attitudes and to behave in certain ways. What has happened to individuality and the personality? People should be taught to develop their own-selves and their own personalities - To learn about instinct, nature, consciousness and further heights of awareness, WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN PUSHED FROM OUR MINDS. The human mind is suppressed not to generate its "unacceptable" powers. Meditation, creative visualisation, and MAGICK are important tools which may be used to help bring out our true selves. Sexuality is condemned from an early age. Society as a whole condemns sexuality. It is a beautiful experience - and can prove to be a very powerful and magickal act - generating immense emotion and feeling. The idea of PLEASURE AND PAIN is fundamental to the understanding and experiences of people. Sex can exist within both concepts. People should learn not to be ashamed of their sexuality, and sexually, to share experiences with other individuals. UNDERSTANDING, DEVELOPMENT, AND COMMUNICATION. OUR AIM IS WAKEFULNESS. OUR ENEMY IS DREAMLESS SLEEP --------------------------------------------- Involvement with T.O.P.Y. means that I have broken away from the social graces forced upon me by society. I am finding out what I really enjoy to do, with my mental/physical attributes. I am learning to reach further than before, to grasp the things that were previously beyond my 2906 reach. T.O.P.Y. is a collective of individuals who, in a way, do not want to be part of any group/social type. This is not as hypocritical as it sounds, because each individual within T.O.P.Y. is going his/her own way, each with differing goals, concepts of life. T.O.P.Y. is important because it gives the individuals within a confidence that others are trying to struggle against society. T.O.P.Y. members feel as though they are not the only ones with a different point of view. It gives the individual strength to succeed. T.O.P.Y.'s aim is to help individuals attain their highest dreams, and to help them accomplish their works and wishes in life. --------------------------------------------- T.O.P.Y. allows thee individual a chance to know him/her self. I am not sure if I would be able to explain T.O.P.Y. to a stranger. Recently I was talking to a friend who told me she no longer wanted to be my friend because I was involving myself with T.O.P.Y. She does not believe in anything. Her point is that I would no longer be me and that I didn't need T.O.P.Y.'s ideas to help me with my problems, that in time everything works out in itself. I disagreed with her argument, trying to explain that T.O.P.Y. would help me with the goals that I want to obtain in my life, and that in the past not all my problems have worked out by themself. T.O.P.Y. asks for the individual to be clear in admitting their real desires by discarding all irrelevancies and by asking yourself what do you really want out ov life. The argument with my friend allowed me to see that we were no longer friends and perhaps we never really were. How could we have been friends when she would not allow me to be anymore than I already was nor anything else that I could be. T.O.P.Y. is not there to be occult. But a lot ov people have that misunderstanding. People will always condemn the thoughts and actions ov another. There is someone who I am deeply interested in, who spoke ov tribal living and the ideas ov T.O.P.Y. At that time I had no idea what he was talking about and the shyness that we both have makes it almost impossible to talk to each other. We are barely able to smile and say hello, and I believe thru the Psychick process we will be able to speak again. I will overcome the shyness that keeps me within myself and keeps me from having what I really want from life. T.O.P.Y.'s ideas are for everyone who wants to wake up fromthe dreamless world that we are living in. It's for the individual who asks themself what they want from life, and the rituals are there to make those thoughts happen. "Awareness ov your own energy is the awareness that flesh and spirit are one, that thou art goddess, eternally linked, connected, at one with the moving spirit ov all" (Starhawk 138) T.O.P.Y. is there for thee individual who makes the coumitment to become 2907 aware ov thee energy that is inside us all. . . --------------------------------------------- Magic has interested me from an early age - but I didn't have the best informed beginning. I used to try telekinesis, telepathy, astral projection,even levitation, all with varying degree of complete failure. I had no concentration or confidence, and a very impatient streak. The things I tried to do were very nice "tricks" but many of them are no longer goals of mine. I see no reason now to attempt things for which I had little aptitude, solely to impress others and build up my own social standing. People are so cynical now, and maybe some of it has rubbed off on me. The Temple has shown me a practical side to magick which makes no pretensions, I don't expect to be able to force the hand of chance with minimum effort and concentration and nothing to inform me but a half-read Aquarian Press book. In my future sigil work I shall aim to overcome some of my less attractive tendencies, and build on my natural talents and abilities. My ideal target will be a perfect self and not a material manipulator. Maybe people should expect miracles because I think if you believe in something enough then you are halfway to having it, just as long as it's within and not without yourself. I don't feel that I need to justify my involvement with anything, to anyone. People have an instant dislike and fear of things they don't understand, but worse than this, an aversion to information which could disrupt their secure, boring, featureless lives. To me, many of these people are lost causes, I would prefer that they knew nothing of what I choose to do with my life - which is too precious to spend arguing with people who will never see sense for the simple reason that they don't want to. This may seem a selfish attitude, but the example of Susan Bishop is enough to put me off talking to journalists, and Christians, for life. Let them remain ignorant and happy, they will never change. --------------------------------------------- People like to control you. They want power and they achieve it. These thieves are smart and they work off people's insecurities. CONTROL means dictating how others should live and how to think. If you are afraid of making these decisions for yourself (because of fear of failure, lack of self-confidence, fear of death, and definitely laziness) then it is easy to associate yourself with, and follow someone strong enough to make decisions for you. You are no longer responsible for yourself and no longer have the burden or that responsibility. It is easier to identify oneself with an already developed personality (hero/heroine) than go through the never ending struggle of self-discovery. The insecure robbers who feed off our weaknesses are the ones most people tend to trust: our rabbis and priests who control through strict regulations and traditions, our school teachers who take advantage of the innocence and naivety of young children by presenting themselves and their ideas as manifestations of god, and our media which depicts THE acceptable lifestyle through slanted manipulations. These thieves are aware of your trust and innocence, and intend on using those weaknesses to control you. The Temple Ov Psychick Youth is an organisation aimed at DE-control. They do not wish to control you; they wish to liberate themselves. They 2908 offer suggestions on how you COULD liberate yourself, not how you SHOULD liberate yourself. The process of liberation consists of many types of research, such as the music group PTV. Members of the Temple feel that there is no reason why life should not be "lived to the fullest" where all one's NEEDS and DESIRES are fulfilled. Because there are so many distractions to divert one's attention from one's goals, symbols are invented to be worn, to be drawn, etc., to constantly remind, if not the conscious, then the unconscious, of these goals. Ideally, through this process laziness is combatted and the goals will more likely be achieved since those goals are constantly on the person's mind. Because there are so many distractions and limitations posed by the "controllers", sometimes our deepest wants do not seem earthly possible, and we repress them in our subconscious (a step towards neurosis) trying to dismiss them. The Temple does not believe in repressing our needs and desires (submitting to those "controllers"), because our personal needs are what make us human and individual. The Psychick Cross is the symbol of the "whole" person, uncovering one's unconsciously hidden desires and obtaining them. The unconscious speaks most loudly in our dreams and our fantasies. When we fantasize, our desires usually take place in Utopian settings, and represent these goals by creating collages including parts of our physical body to personalise the symbol of our goal even more. This symbol reminds us over and over again that this is thee want, this is thee self. Temple members using this process end up understanding their needs and desires better, are more able to satisfy themselves and succeed in life. I personally enjoy making decisions and discoveries on my own. I will not allow anyone to take that joy away from me. I enjoy my intelligence, my talents, and discovering myself using the symbolic rituals suggested by the Temple Ov Psychick Youth. T.O.P.Y. is an important organisation because: 1) it shows people they are not alone in the struggle, and 2) it allows people to exchange views, ideas, and solutions to better these processes to liberate and satiate the individual self. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2909 "What is Paganism" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The following is the text from a brochure that BAPA puts out called "What is Paganism" (author unknown) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "WHAT IS PAGANISM? "History of Paganism ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The term Pagan has numerous common definitions. Many dictionaries define a Pagan as anyone not of the Judeo-Islamic-Christian religions. Some people consider anyone who does not share their religion to be a Pagan. Still others believe that a Pagan is a person who is anti-religion. None of these "definitions" manage to capture the true meaning of the term. "To discover the core meaning of Pagan, we look back to ancient times when the word Pagan referred to a person of the country, or a peasant. {deletia... in summary, several paragraphs relating the history of the Catholic Church and the poor peasants' inability to relate. Brief description of the "glory of the Goddess and God in each starry night" and note of the inconsistancies of the original Pagan beliefs with the Catholic church. Also, several paragraphs detailing the development of of the Church's campaign to expunge Paganism, some of the methods employed and the subsequent Witch Hunts. Finally, an overall summary of the persecution. If interested, let me know and I'll post it separately.} "Paganism in Modern Times ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Today, little is known about the Pagans who survived what is now often called "The Burning Times." Paganism, as it exists today, is best described as the practice of any of a number of nature-based religions, traditions that find their roots all over the world. {Liana- sound familiar?} Many modern Pagans call themselves "Neo-Pagans" to declare their religion as a revival of the old beliefs. {more deletia... in summary, two paragraphs comparing contemporary Pagans to the peasants of old, extolling our intelligence and involvement in technology. Also a paragraph defusing the Satanism comparison. Again, if interested, let me know and I'll post it.} "What do Modern Pagans Believe? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Paganism is actually a large umbrella containing a number of nature-based religions beneath it, from the European-originated Wicca and Druidism, to African Yoruba traditions and Hawaiian Huna. As a result of this diversity, it is impossible to make statements about the beliefs of Pagans that will apply to *all* {italics} Pagans. However, some statements can be made that will, in general, apply to a vast number of Pagans. 2910 "Many Pagans tend to: "* Be polytheists, believing in more than one deity or more than one aspect of a single deity. "* Be pantheists, seeing the God/Goddess force represented in everything around them. "* Recognize the divinity of the feminine as well as the masculine, not seeing masculinity as a superior force. "* Believe that the life force is sacred, and that nature, as a vital representation of that force, is divine. "* Believe that all life forms are equal, sharing an equal claim to the earth as a home. "* Believe that each individual is solely responsible for his or her actions. "* Believe that the forces of nature can be shaped in ways commonly called "magical." "* Believe that magical acts designed to bend one to another's will are manipulative, and not encouraged. "* Believe that whatever actions a person takes, magical or mundane, good or bad, come back to him/her, sometimes threefold. "* Believe that there is no single path to spiritual fulfillment, and that the individual must determine the spiritual expression most appropriate to him or her. "* Believe in reincarnation, or some form of life after death. "How do Pagans Practice Their Religion? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Many Pagans find spiritual expression through the practice of ritual, or religious ceremony. These rituals, often held at significant points in lunar or solar cycles, offer an opportunity for Pagans to commune with the godeesses and Gods, to celebrate the passages of life, and to work magic. {deletia... in summary, paragraphs relating techniques to "raise power" explaining that we don't espouse "power over" (my words). Also outlines goals that many pagans have in mine when raising of power. Outlines the sabbats, and relates the pattern of the seasons. Briefly describes Beltane and Samhain. Once again, let me know if you would like to see this text.} "Each Pagan religion has its own special way of recognizing the passing of the seasons and personal life passages. Ritual offers a way to imbue these moments with magic and reverence. {deletia... last paragraph giving information on how the reader can learn more about Paganism, specifically in the Bay Area, and relating the goal that BAPA has in mind.} ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2911 PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA * or * How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER Wherein Is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything Published By: LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED PO BOX 1197 Port Townsend, WA 98368 $5.00(cheap) Catalogs:$2.00 Transcribed to 1's and 0's by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian Society Cabal of the Unemployed mpython@gnu.ai.mit.edu {calendar entered by /AHM/THX } ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ INTRODUCTION You hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century fnord. Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill. In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In 1970,hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept across the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St. Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts, one heard. No,said another legend -- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very intriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon, who had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity. I enjoyed each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I was also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually written the whole thing myself during an acid trip. The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's, thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2912 When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob Shea, and I both received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several chapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies, asked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies available. Others wrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way H.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our moods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful lies and myths we could devise fnord. Why not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus immortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet discovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage the mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote to ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told them he had, except on Fridays whem I am more whimsical, in which case I told them it had been transmitted by a canine intellgence -- vast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius. Now, at last, the truth can be told. Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling anthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us as a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great Seal of the United States. I have it on good authority that he is one of the most accomplished time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many times in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias, Emperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc. Whenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman and that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial and extratemporal origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a time-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could observe us without his presense causing cultureshock. I understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to this edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but don't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan put-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the branches of guerilla ontology. For full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in conjunc- tion with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press, Albuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on many levels here", as Ken Kesey used to say. In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time. Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord? -Robert Anton Wilson International Arms and Hashish Inc. 2913 Darra Bazar, Kohat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A jug of wine, A leg of lamb And thou! Beside me, Whistling in the darkness. Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order... - The Book of Uterus 1;5 Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPAT- CH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTER- GALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP. GREATER POOP:Are you really serious or what? MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant. GP: Maybe you are just crazy. M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true. GP: Is Eris true? M2: Everything is true. GP: Even false things? M2: Even false things are true. GP: How can that be? M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it. GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives? M2: To dissolve them. GP: Will you develop that point? M2: No. GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE? M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax." GP: Is that the answer to my question? M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX! ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2914 SUSPENDED ANNIHILATION ODD# II/2,xii;68Chs3136 Principia Discordia or How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her When I found Her being a Beginning Introduction to The Erisian Mysterees Which is Most Interesting -><- as Divinely Revealed to My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold and HIGH PRIEST of THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! Dedicated to The Prettiest One The Upstart of one hand clapping - JOSHUA NORTON CABAL - Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee POEE is one manifestation of THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY about which you will learn more and understand less We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns, and similar maniacs who are intrigued with ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION and with Her Doings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2915 I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star! -Nietzsche THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF) The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down. KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH! I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm. II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System. III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns). IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub. V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he reads. IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED. Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A ZEN STORY by Camden Benares, The Count of Five Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of 2916 the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was fre- quently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead." Hearing this, the man was enlightened. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Western Union Telegram To: Jehova Yahweh Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666) Presidential Tier, Paradise Dear God; This is to inform you that your current position as diety is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP Please do not use me for a reference Respectfully, Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather POEE High Priest ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10. The Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains. 11. Indeed do many things come to pass. HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19 - THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT - THE REVELATION Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant.... Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and 2917 they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion." FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU WITH FAIRY DUST Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned. The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped. There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men. "Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!" And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness. ERIS - GODDESS OF CHAOS, DISCORD & CONFUSION They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private. They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice: I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My conscious- ness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by 2918 misunderstanding. You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun. I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free. During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order. With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them: It is called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland. "What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!" And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be. "There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true." -Neils Bohr "Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?" "But there is no house next door." "No? Then let's go build one!" -MARX Fnord Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2919 St. Trinian's SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE Sewing Circle THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY by Lord Omar VERSE Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao; It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb; Her Apple Corps is strong! CHORUS Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Her Apple Corps is strong! VERSE She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;* So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek! O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak; Her Apple Corps is strong! * "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks "Ol' Limb' Peak." If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...? "The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses" -Gen. Geo. A. Custer People in a Position to Know, Inc. ON PRAYER Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words: No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood. "Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill" (Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison) 2920 14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path. THE PURPLE SAGE HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19 Heaven is down. Hell is up. This is proven by the fact that the planets and stars are orderly in their movements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS while down on earth The meaning of this is unknown we come close to the primal chaos. There are four other proofs, but I forget them. -Josh the Dill King Kong Kabal IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks. DO NOT CIRCULATE! What We Know About ERIS (not much) The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms. Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that. One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic mat- ters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know." Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times. *THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If youhave trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of 2921 the Pineal Gland" DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS -Horace ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2922 THE INSIDE STORY! The Law of Fives the Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus. POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Il- luminated Seers of Bavaria. The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5. The Law of Fives is never wrong. In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look." Please do not use this document as toilet tissue The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun shines by day because, being a woman, it is afraid to venture out at night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly too." - John Kenneth Galbraith THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.* This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog. Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphro- dite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything. Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris. Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed. 2923 As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Pariscould have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Mene- laus,King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men. And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns. Do you believe that? ------------------------------------- * This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB ** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metalic gold or acapulco. *** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives. REMEMBER: KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS Ho Chi Zen is King Cong 5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced Balance. 6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance,or Stagnation, is attained. 7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth, finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance. HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do You Remember? 1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the ______ of _____. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2924 An Erisian Hymn by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS Onwards Christian Soldiers, Onwards Buddhist Priests. Onward, Fruits of Islam, Fight till you're deceased. Fight your little battles. Join in thickest fray; For the Greater Glory, of Dis-cord-i-a. Yah, yah, yah, Yah, yah, yah, yah. Blfffffffffffft! Mr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose,has been exposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who has been doing all this nose swallowing. Heute Die Welt Morgens das Sonnensystem! Abbey of the Barbarous Relic ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Official Proclamation -- ODD# III(b)/4,i;18Aft3135 -------------------------------------------------- POEE DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX V) The House of Apostle of ERIS For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia A. The Five Apostles of ERIS B. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC) C. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society D. POEE Cabal Priests E. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages IV) The House of the Rising Podge for the Disciples of Discordia A. Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather B. Council of POEE Priests C. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD D. Eristic Avatars E. Aneristic Avatars III) The House of the Rising Hodge For the Bureaucracy A. the Bureau of Erisian Archives B. the Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and The Division of Dogmas C. The Bureau of Symbols,Emblems, Certificates and Such D. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The Administry for The Unenlightened Eristic Horde 2925 E. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the Administry for the Orders of Discordia II) The House of the Rising Collapse For the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the Dis- couragement of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton A. The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity B. The Breeze of Integrity and/or The Wind of Arrogance C. The Breeze of Beauty and/or The Wind of Outrages D. The Breeze of Love and/or The Wind of Bombast E. The Breeze of Laughter and/or The Wind of Bullshit I) The Out House For what is left over A. Miscellaneous Avatars B. The Fifth Column C. POEE =POPES= everywhere D. Drawer "O" for OUT OF FILE E. Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths -><- OFFICIAL - POEE Head Temple, San Francisco HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE Bureau of The POEE Epistolary ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ = THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS = The official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any similar device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON POINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may be elaborated or simplified as desired. The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly shortened to THE HAND. \ / -----><----- / \ NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize horns, especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the "horns" are supported by another set, of inverted "horns". Or maybe it is walrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell the truth. "Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it" -Breton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -><- POEE -><- POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHO- OD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity,reversity beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us. 2926 MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold]. The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2. POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one scruple-- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain. POEE has not registered,incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State. POEE has 5 DEGREES: There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE. The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on. An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN. The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather. And POEE =POPE=. POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=. " This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out." -Lichtenberg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Application For Membership In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIA SOCIETY 1. Today's date Yesterday's Date 2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord b. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC! 3. Name_________________________ Holy Name_____________ Address_____________________________________________________________ (If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded) 4. Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2 []other Height: ..... fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason: Race: []horse []human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300 5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from 2927 which you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled "confidential" list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24 hours 6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because .......... I have ceased raping little children []yes []no -- reason .......... 7. Self Portrait Rev. Mungo For Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned LICK HERE!!! * (You may be one of the lucky 25) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -><- POEE & It's Priests If you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may wish to form your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly what you think it is. The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once in a while, he even listens. Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the section "Discordian Society" ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained? An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who holds an Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather." 2928 Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise! Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know What's in a Chao and why it ain't so! (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ World Council of Churches Boutique Note to POEE Priests: The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market place. The Hidden stone ripens fast, then laid bare like a turnip can easily be cut out at last but even then the danger isn't past. That man lives best who's fain to live half mad, half sane. -Flemish Poet Jan Van Stijevoort, 1524. The Erisian Affirmation BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds: ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! find the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods Within your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow; POEE Holy Cow, and Wholly Chao -Rev. Dr. Grindlebone Monroe Cabal "common sense is what tells you that the world is flat." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach. ________________________________________________________________________ 2929 Legion of Dynamic Discord HARK RECOGNIZE that the -- DISCORDIAN SOCIETY -- doth hereby certify As a Legionnaire Glory to We Children of ERIS Presented under the auspices of our Lady of Discord, ERIS by the House of the Apostles of ERIS. -><- ________________________________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOW TO START A POEE CABAL WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER If you can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want anything to do with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Certificate. The words you are now reading are your ordination. HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN 1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies. 2. Sign and nose-print each copy. 3. Send one to the President of the United States. 4. Send one to The California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding 1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814 5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other. Then consult your pineal gland. General License was Sgt. Pepper's Commander ~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~ When in Doubt, Fuck it. When not in Doubt... get in Doubt! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trip 5! 2930 = The POEE Baptismal Rite = This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony. 1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something. 2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians. 3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designa- tions, offices, &tc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye: 1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING? The Initiate answers YES. 2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers YES. 3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED? He answers YES. 4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT? The Initiate answers PROBABLY. 5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME: (The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.) The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES! 4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present. 5) The Ceremony generally degenerates. Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway. DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP 3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y' know. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2931 HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2 Answers: 1. Harry Houdini 2. Swing Music 3. Pretzels 4. 8 months 5. Testy Culbert 6. It protrudes. 7. No vocal cords ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH G3400 50 The Initiate swears the following: DMTS 19 FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!! (Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German: FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE! or perhaps WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!! which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.) THE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF '44. Corrections to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan's name is not Randy, but mud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb. "This statement is false" (courtesy of POEE) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME! THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY The Discordian Society has no definition. I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like. AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what he says. 2932 THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect. If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't. There are no rules anywhere. Some Episkoposes The Goddess Prevails. have a one-man cabal. Some work together. Some never do explain. When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see you again! Helter Skelter! -John Lennon "Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME" -Rev Lady Mal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names. It says little, does less, means nothing. * Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first. - The Numeral V sign - Used by Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent Hippies everywhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PERPETUAL DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR Seasons 1) Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Mung 2) Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo 3) Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti 4) Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud 5) The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Days of the Week* * The DAYS OF THE WEEK 1) Sweetmorn are named from the five Basic Elements: 2) Boomtime SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE 3) Pungenday 4) Prickle-Prickle 5) Setting Orange 2933 HOLYDAYS A) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B) SEASON HOLYDAYS 1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux 2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux 3) Syaday 3) Confuflux 4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux 5) Maladay 5) Afflux Each occurs on the 5th Each occurs on the 50th day of the Season day of each Season C) ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos SM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Jan 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5 6 7 8 9 40 41 42 43 44 Cfn 6 7 8 9 10 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48 49 11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 50 51 52 53 54 16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 24 55 56 57 58 59 21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25 26 27 28 29 60 61 62 63 64 26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30 31 1 2 3 65 66 67 68 69 31 1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5 6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1 Bcy Feb 5 6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13 2 3 4 5 6 10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14 15 16 17 18 7 8 9 10 11 15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19 20 21 22 23 12 13 14 15 16 20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24 25 26 27 28 17 18 19 20 21 25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29 30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25 26 Mar 2 3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4 5 6 7 27 28 29 30 31 7 8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11 12 32 33 34 35 36 12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc 13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39 40 41 17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7 18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45 46 22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50 51 27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28 29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55 56 ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2934 Apr 1 2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4 5 6 7 57 58 59 60 61 6 7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8 9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66 11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13 14 15 16 17 67 68 69 70 71 16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18 19 20 21 22 72 73 1 2 3 Afm 21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23 24 25 26 27 4 5 6 7 8 26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28 29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12 13 May 1 2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3 4 5 6 14 15 16 17 18 6 7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7 8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23 11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12 13 14 15 16 24 25 26 27 28 16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17 18 19 20 21 29 30 31 32 33 21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22 23 24 25 26 34 35 36 37 38 26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2 3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42 43 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Dec 2 3 4 5 6 44 45 46 47 48 Jun 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11 49 50 51 52 53 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12 13 14 15 16 54 55 56 57 58 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17 18 19 20 21 59 60 61 62 63 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22 23 24 25 26 64 65 66 67 68 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71 72 73 30 1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157][Next St. Tibs Day in 3158] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOLY NAMES Discordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not unique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI? Will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return it. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2935 THE BEARER OF THIS CARD IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED ~ POPE ~ So please Treat Him Right GOOD FOREVER Genuine and authorized by The House of Apostles of ERIS ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope Reproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE Head Temple, San Francisco A =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For Your Enlightenment THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further considera- tion and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice. And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter. "The Five Laws have root in awareness." --Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85) The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't. HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES? 2936 "O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!" WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL. "I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe." WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? "But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it." OH. WELL, THEN STOP. At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species. SINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS =THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE = 1. HUNG MUNG A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinee. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5. 2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19. [NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second Apostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits. 3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly called just SRI SYADASTI His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type Discordians. Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not the same person but is the same 2937 Apostle. 4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed "Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12 5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or middle earth), who followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read "DOOM". (This is a misunderstanding. The sign actually read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.) Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24. All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette. The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaning- less in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Man...Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he's drunk. THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement and How it was Revealed to Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of the Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch From the Honest Book of Truth THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1 1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an Honest Book. 2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and ,lying in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods. 3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of Mullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and 2938 five nights, but found no book. 4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had uncovered on the first day of his labors. 5. Omar slept. 6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a Golden Chest. 7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods. 8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit,man? What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better wages? 9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights. 10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box containing many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon others nothing was written. 11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CONVENTIONAL CHAOS GREYFACE In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it. It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more 2939 seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own. The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now. It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that's beautiful. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Climb into the Chao with a friend or two And follow the Way it carries you, Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew Over the Waves in whatever you do. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3) [graphic deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat... DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"* THE BOOK OF UTERUS from the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar 1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge. 2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be. 3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge. 4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose. 5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifes- tation of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion - that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of Thud. 6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. 7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was 2940 hence called Discordia. 8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage. 9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws. 10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS! 11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen. ____________________________ * This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III - HISTORY #6, "HISTORIC CYCLES," which states that social progress occurs in five cycles, the first three ("The Tricycle") of which are THESIS, ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and the last two ("the Bicycle") of which are CONSTER- NATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE. ** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen. Dull but Sincere Filler ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation of Disorder!" [H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6] THE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA ("THEM") Gen. Pandaemonium, Commanding The seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early disciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over emphasizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to the necessary compliment, the Principle of Disorder. The Orders are composed of persons all hung up on authority, security and control; i.e., they are blinded by the Aneristic Illusion. They do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia. But we know. 1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This is for all the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world. 2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved for lawmakers, censors, and like ilk. 3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit schools and universities, and dominate many of them. 4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. This is mostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, political, academic and sacred Orders. 2941 5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about the D.L., but they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface himself. It is known that they now have absolute domination over all organized churches in the world. It is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages and passing them off as human beings. A person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a flag of the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment-- just as long as it is a flag. Don't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton. HIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4 Go To Your Left-Right.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and experimentally-- that the universe, by its nature, is "running down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation. That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order. The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought. It applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing. The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order. IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT! -Rev. Thomas, Gnostic N.Y.C. Cabal Personal PLANETARY Pi, which I discovered, is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts unknown to science. For example, multiply nude earth's circum- ference 24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon's orbit around the earth. This is slightly less than the actual distance because we have not yet considered earth's atmosphere. So be it. 2942 Christopher Garth, Evanston "I should have been a plumber." --Albert Einstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken" -Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect = ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT = Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his fol- lowers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing. "Tell me, you dumb beast." demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?" Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".* Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese. * "MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING TAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SACRED CHAO THE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge. HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS. If you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it. The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper that is the level of distinction making. 2943 With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about- -reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the level of concept. We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle. Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other. DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysical- ly arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION. The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear dif- ferently ordered and disordered. Reality is the original Rorschach. Verily! So much for all that. The words of the Foolish and those of the Wise Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1) The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, "KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle. The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one,, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords 2944 with THE LAW OF FIVES. THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. -Patamunzo Lingananda It is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies. ____________________________________ * The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras. [diagram of HODGE/PODGE TRANSFORMER deleted... DtC] 5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying "I do not know! I do not know!" HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRUNSWICK SHRINE In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time. In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It All. It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five times over, than shall the world come to an end: IMPENDING DOOM HAS ARRIVED And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days. As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually going. ___________________________________ * Or maybe it was 1958, I forget. 2945 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which Is Real? * * * * * Do these 5 pebbles [note: they were pebbles,originally..try doing ASCII pebbles -DtC] REALLY form a pentagon? Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star. An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5. The real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about "it" is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST. Convictions cause convicts. Can you chart the COURSE to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART? Hemlock? I never touch the stuff! When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired a split beaver magazine. You can imagine my disappointment when,upon examination of the photos with a microscope, I found that all I could see was dots. 7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2946 ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS ------------------------------------Pun-jab is Sikh, Sikh, Sikh!-------- THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) A Non-prophet Irreligious Disorganization MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold HIGH PRIEST THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS (X) Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1 pages Official Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a ( ) the Golden Apple Corps (X)House of Disciples of Discordia The Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS ( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE ( ) Drawer o ________________________________________________________________________ Today's DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday's DATE: Yes -><- Originating Cabal: Joshua Norton Cabal - San Francisco TO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado Encrustation Brother Ram, Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some observations of my own, ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use. >From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect, similar to SIRE. And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125. FIVE TONS OF FLAX! -><- Mal-2 Not for Circulation! KALLISTI HAIL ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA safeguard this letter, it may be an important document Form No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134 2947 DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY" which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus) In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one (the smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON-BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the great number of things that do not exist with the comparatively small number of things that do exist.) Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period-- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non-existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.) At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them andordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arosefrom this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself bycreating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which delighted Her. Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder (previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not. "Hah," She thought, "Here shall be a new game." And She taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself, "ERISTIC" because Being is anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for Her lonely sister, She named the other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them. Now all of this time, Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had created only physical existence and physical non-existence, and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all. 2948 When the sisters heard this, they both confronted Void and pleaded that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus: That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep. "Why are you despondent?" demanded Void, "Your new brother will have his share with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non-Being." "I see,"replied Void, "Then I decree the follow- ing: "When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself." And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus. "Everything is true - Everything is permissible!" -><- -Hassan i Sabbah ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane. A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT Written, in some sense, by Mal-2 Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is much enhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all participants chanting the English. it also behooves one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position. It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of his gourd. RUB-A-DUB-DUB O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung. SYA-DASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo. SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud. SYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal. SYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik. SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia. RUB-A-DUB-DUB 2949 It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles, which ever comes first. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Classification of Saints 1. SAINT SECOND CLASS To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St.Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE shrine.) THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION. 2. LANCE SAINT Good Saint material and definitely inspiring. Example: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller) 3. LIEUTENANT SAINT Excellent Goddess-Saturated Saint. Example: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes) 4. BRIGADIER SAINT Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or factual). Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut) 5. FIVE STAR SAINT The Five Apostles of Eris. Note: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about Saints. Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a hand full understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton. -Slogan of NORTON CABAL - S.F. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TESTS BY DOCTORS PROVE IT POSSIBLE TO SHRINK =ON OCCULTISM= Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness through assimilation and control of universal opposites-- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritualism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman, occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS. Magicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an 2950 essential metaphysical balance. when magicians learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man's endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY. This is an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western occult thought, and POEE is humbly pleased to offer the first break- through in occultism since Solomon. "Study Demonology with an Enemy This Sunday" sez Thom,Gnos ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM 1) Om your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your birth time and date of observation, count all visible stars. 2) When you have done this, write to me and I'll tell you what to do next. The Eminent 16th Century Mathemetician Cardan so detested Luther that he altered Luther's birthdate to give him an unfavorable horoscope. The theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take seats at random around a circular table bearing place cards with their names, it is always possible to rotate the table until at least two people are opposite their cards. Assume the contrary. Let N be the even number of persons, and let their names be replaced by the integers 0 to N-1 "in such a way that the place cards are numbered in sequence around the table. If a delegate D originally sits down to a place card P, then the table must be rotated R steps before he is correctly seated, where R=P-D, unless this is negative, in which case R=P-D+N. The collection of values of D (and of P) for all delegates is clearly the integers 0 to N-1,each taken once, but so also is the collection of values of R, or else two delegates would be correctly seated at the same time. Summing the above equations, one for each delegate, gives S-S+NK, where K is an integer and S=N(N-1)/2, the sum of the integers from 0 to N-1. It follows that N=2K+1, an odd number." This contradicts the original assumption. "I actually solved this problem some years ago," Rybicki writes, "for a different but completely equivalent problem, a generalization of the nonattacking 'eight queens' problem for a cylindrical chessboard where diagonal attack is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only 2951 accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder. The Curse of Greyface included the division of life into order/disorder as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of building a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to endure the destructive aspects of order and has prevented man from effectively participating in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfortunate division. POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable. Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to the evil Curse of Greyface, THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just protection. The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a timely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be achieved. CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive motivation is essential for self-protection. TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE: Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fis- ticuffs. Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! The results will be instantly apparent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2952 A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to: THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add: THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with: THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to: THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SINK A GAME by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk. PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing... in water or mud or anything you; can sink something in. RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers - bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be used. TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air first. DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing "SINK" to help find more objects to sink, once; one object is sunk. 2953 UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or something equally as thoughtful. NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk Columbus, Ohio!" "In a way, we're a kind of Peace Corps." - Maj. A. Lincoln German, Training Director of the Green Beret Special Warfare School, Ft. Bragg, N.C. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Joint Effort of the Discordian Society POST OFFICE LIBERATION FRONT Export License Not Required THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS! In the meantime - plant your seeds. If a lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted. Plant your seeds. In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read up on it first for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in water for a day and plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't worry much about the weather, they know when the weather is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and flourish. But some of them need people's help to get started. Plant your seeds. Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even different countries. If you would rather not, then please pass this copy on to someone and perhaps they would like to. THERE IS NO TRUTH to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course, from your seed's point of view. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. "How come a woodpecker doesn't bash its brains out?" A. Nobody has ever explained that. Mary Jane says "Plant Your Seeds. Keep Prices Down." "And God said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of the earth... to you it shall be for meat." -Genesis 1:29 2954 Questions Have a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the unit on "Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs" that he enjoyed. Name some causes of disturbance in your school. Chapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS --Lord Omar 1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM! 2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to fight alone. 3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and sink holes. 4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten? 5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tribulation as have yer baseless warnings. DESPITE strong evidence to the contrary, persistant rumor has it that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the summer of '44. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2955 BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.) THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA invite YOU to join The World's Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy Have you ever SECRETLY WONDERED WHY IS there an ESOTERIC ALLEGORY con- The GREAT PYRAMID has FIVE sides cealed in the apparently innocent (counting the bottom)? legend of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs? WHAT IS the TRUE secret SINISTER WHY do scholarly anthropologists REALITY lying behind the ANCIENT TURN PALE with terror at the Aztec Legend of QUETZLCOATL? very MENTION of the FORBIDDEN name YOG-SOTHOTH? WHO IS the MAN in ZURICH WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN that some SWEAR is LEE TO AMBROSE BIERCE? HARVEY OSWALD? If your I.Q. is over 150, and you have $3,125.00 (plus handling), you might be eligible for a trial membership in the A.I.S.B. If you think you qualify, put the money in a cigar box and bury it in your backyard. One of our Underground Agents will contact you shortly. I DARE YOU! TELL NO ONE! ACCIDENTS HAVE A STRANGE WAY OF HAPPENING TO PEOPLE WHO TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI May we warn you against imitations! Ours is the original and genuine "Nothing is true. Everything is Permissible" - Hassan i Sabbah NIL CARBORUNDUM ILLEGITIMO _________________________________________________________________________ "Illuminate the Opposition!" -- Adam Weishaupt, Grand Primus Illuminatus Official Bavarian Illuminati "Ewige Blumenkraft!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2956 INTER-OFFICE WIRE SENT THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA - VIGILANCE LODGE Mad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal DISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYPTOGRAPHIC CYPHER CODE Of possible interest to all Discordians, this information is herewith released from the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the auspices of Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS. SAMPLE MESSAGE: ("HAIL ERIS") CONVERSATION: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 STEP 1. Write out the message (HAIL ERIS) and put all the vowels at the end (HLRSAIEI) STEP 2. Reverse order (IEIASRLH) STEP 3. Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8) STEP 4. Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19) STEP 5. Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS) This cryptographic cypher code is GUARANTEED TO BE 100% UNBREAKABLE. BEWARE! THE PARANOIDS ARE WATCHING YOU! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here is a letter from A.I.S.B. to POEE: ________________________________________________________________________ The World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.) ( )Official Business (X) Surreptitious Business From: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister Dear Brother Mal-2, In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted in the new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And please stop bothering us with your incessant letters! Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been fully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of Aquilonia. First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into Latin by Olaus 2957 Wormius, 1132 A.D., as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Ismaelian Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson in the garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States. Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication. No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised in Joyce's Finnegan's Wake, Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of the Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private papers (!), but we are still suppressing those. Considering current developments--you know the ones I speak of--it has been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Your publication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now have significant control of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger Die For You Society, and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not reveal that political and economic control was generally complete several generations ago and that we are just playing with the world for a while until civilization advances sufficiently for phase five. In fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal Reserve Hoax: "Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined, behind-the-scenes under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force--worshipers of Mamon--whose undying purpose is world control through the control of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent raised its head in the under-ground secret society known as the Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is con- siderable documentary evidence to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from this source." Etc., etc., you know the stuff. The general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been nearly exposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what a drag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential locations. Please review and add any comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon site. Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know that Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co-ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and our theoriticians are in ecstasy over the new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After 20,000 years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. But the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, 2958 Mal! If civilization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp. Twenty thousand years....! Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Principia. Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS. Love, MAD MALIK PS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia. We are returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications. Herewith your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5. [note: Graphic Cypher deleted DtC] ________________________________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Part Five The Golden Secret NONSENSE AS SALVATION The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously. To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES. To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being. And when men become free then mankind will be free. May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris. 2959 T'AI ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ _________ _________ _________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA This being the 4th Edition, March 1970, San Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; which revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision of "PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST" published in New Orleans in 1965 in five copies, which were mostly lost. If you think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again. (K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like Published by POEE Head Temple - San Francisco " On The Future Site of Beautiful San Andreas Canyon" Office of My High Reverence Malaclypse the Younger KSC OPOVIG HIGH PRIEST POEE KALLISTI THE LAST WORD The foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess Herself through many consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to state that Goddess doesn't always say the same thing to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are sometimes told quite different things in their Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess. Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other than POEE, then none of these Truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame that you have read all the way down to the very last word. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DISCORDIAN SOCIETY Dedicated to an Advanced Understanding of the Paraphysical Manifestations of Everyday Chaos DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND? Well, probably you do have one, and it's unfortunate because lopsided Pineal Glands have perverted the Free Spirit of Man, and subverted Life into a frustrating, unhappy and hopeless mess. Fortunately, you have before you a handbook that will show you how to discover your salvation through ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION. It will advise you how to balance your Pineal Gland and reach spiritual Illumination. And it will teach you how to turn your miserable mess into a 2960 beautiful, joyful, and splendid one. POEE is a bridge from PISCES to AQUARIUS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the Words of the Illuminated Rated X... NATURALLY Why are we Here ? SUPPRESSED KNOWLEDGE Have you ever secretly HYGIENE wondered why the Great The Lord promised: "Therefore, Pyramid has five sides? - behold, I will bring evil upon counting the bottom? the house of Jeroboam and will cut off from Jeroboam him that GRAND OPERA pisseth against the wall..." "Wherefore my bowels shall sound -I Kings 14:10 (This like a harp for Moab, and mine unsanitary practice caused inner parts for Kirharesh." serious erosion of the mud -Isaiah 16:11 walls) Face to fact with the mighty forces and elements of nature, the thoughtful man fearlessly contemplates his place in the great cosmic scheme. -><- POEE -><- YES, I'd like to know the Five Simple Actions that will turn Me into a "Mental Wizard" in a Single Weekend. Warning! Prolonged use in a darkened room may induce hallucinations or trigger undesired side effects. Should not be used in the presence of persons subject to epilepsy. THIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT GUIDE IN YOUR LIFE! -THE GODDESS ERIS PREVAILS- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SPECIAL AFTERWORD to the Loompanics Edition of PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA G.H. Hill, San Francisco, 1979 All Rites Reversed (K) Reprint What You Like ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2961 INTERVIEW WITH NORTON CABAL by Gypsie Skripto, Special Correspondent It has been ten years since I net the mysterious Malaclypse the Younger. I was free lancing for the underground papers and went to POEE Hear Temple at 555 Battery Street to try for an interview. I found him in the Temple PO Box busy wrapping up the new Fourth Edition of PRINCIPIA. He seemed impatient with me, insisting that he didn't have the time or inclination for foolish questions from reporters. Undaunted, I burst out with questions like whether he preferred Panama Red or Acapulco Gold and how the fuck did we manage to fit inside of a tiny post office box and other things apropos a naive young semiliterate dropout hippy writer. He asked me if I wanted to drop mescaline and fuck all night and said he knew how to turn himself into a unicorn and there might be room for a tiny interview on the cover of the PRINCIPIA if I wanted to work for the GREATER POOP so I said sure, OK, I've never dropped mescaline in a post office box before. It turned out I was among the last to see Malaclypse. As subsequent issues of GREATER POOP revealed, he was to disappear and POEE business was to be assumed by his students at Norton Cabal. Professor Ignotum P. Ignotius, Department of Comparative Realities, was assigned the Trust of the POEE Scruple and Rev. Dr. Occupant became Keeper of the Box. The newly published copies of PRINCIPIA were distributed by Mad Malik, Block Disorganizer, who had distribution contacts with the Aluminum Bavariati. Practical relations remained in the hands of concept artist G. Hill. When the 1000 PRINCIPIAS were gone the GREATER POOP stopped publishing, Head Temple closed down and the Cabal just seemed to evaporate. Finally even the box was closed. But over the years I noticed that copies were still circulating, and that independent Discordian Cabal would oc- casionally pop out of nowhere (and still do ). And I would wonder what ever happened to Malaclypse. When I read the ILLUMINATUS trilogy I resolved to again find and interview the denizens of Joshua Norton Cabal of the Discordian Society. * * * As I cabled over Nob to San Francisco's Station 'O' Post Office I couldn't help but wonder at Goddess' hand in assigning street addresses to Her outposts. Mal2 had told me that Good Lord Omar always filed everything under "O" for OUT OF FILE. "Maya is marvelous" I was thinking when I rapped on the little metal door and was greeted warmly by a huge beard who introduced himself as Professor Ignotius. He ushered me into a spacious wood paneled and tapestry hung parlor where three others were laughing and passing around a wine jug. The sunny one in a tunic was the Reverend Doctor Occupant, the trim khaki and jeans was Mad Malik and the wine jug claimed to be Hill. I got the recorder on.... GYPSIE SKRIPTO [in response to a question]: ...1969 but only briefly. I guess I missed you guys. MAD MALIK: No wonder, he was pretty much a one man show then. We were just 2962 his students and were usually off on errands. You worked for the POOP? Gypsie: Well, for one night anyway. The interview is in the PRINCIPIA. REV. DR. OCCUPANT: Malik was the only one he would ever let write for the POOP or get on the letterhead. Gypsie: Did you [Malik] have higher authority than the others? Malik: No, [but I was allowed to speak in the POOP] because [Malaclypse the Younger] hated politics. He was infuriated with Johnson and nixon over Viet Nam because it was turning the renaissance into a political revolution and was stealing his sacred thunder. So he trained me in Zenarchy, which he learned from Omar, and I was the official anarcho-pacifist for the Cabal. Also I was liaison to The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria, the Chicago Discordians. Later Omar activated the Hung Mung Cong Tong and ELF, on zenarchist principles, and also Operation Mindfuck. I was also into those. Though at the time I was masquerading in GREATER POOP as a created cabbage to throw off the FBI. Gypsie [to Hill]: Since you wrote it, I take it you are an anarchist? G.H. Hill: Since then I have given up anarchy. Too many rules-- hating the government and all that stuff. IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS: It's like hating your own fantasies. Malik: [Anarchy] is also standing up and proceeding forward, fantasy rule or not. The condition is the same. Occupant: Brother needs some wine! Malik: We have had this argument before, Reverend Doctor Brother. But wine before platitudes, fill it up. Gypsie [to Hill]: And pacifism? Hill: I'm not sure I ever was one. Mal2 was not, Malik was. Personally I accepted self defense yet I could never reconcile that with the ideal. I finally gave up on that one too. Actually I just gave up on idealism. Ignotius: Idealism lives with rules. Realism lives with rocks. Hill: Yeah. I get along better with rocks. Malik: Mal2 once told me that pacifism was a dilemma. If everybody was a pacifist then everything would be perfect. But nobody is going to be a pacifist unless I am first. But if I am and somebody else is not, then I get screwed. He said that there were five choices under that circumstance. The first was napalming farmers and the second was executing your parents. The third was hypocrisy, the fourth was cowardice, and the fifth was to swallow the dilemma. Zenarchists are trained in dilemma swallowing. Occupant: So are other Erisians, like POEE. Ignotius: That is characteristic of the Discordian perspective. Hill: But of course training contradicts Discordian principles. 2963 Malik: Oh so what. Contradictions are nothing to Discordians. Occupant: Dilemma, Schilmemma. [to Gypsie]: What do you think of this, pretty ma'am? We don't get to hear your thoughts. Gypsie: I'm reporting now, you talk. Occupant: Later then? Gypsie: Perhaps. Later. Occupant: You are smiling. Gypsie: Hey, guy, later. [to Hill]: Doesn't this leave you a little schizy? Hill: It's OK, I'm half Gemini. Gypsie: What's the other half? Hill: Taurus. That makes me a stubborn schizy. Ignotius: I'm a Whale. Occupant: I choose Satyr. Malik: Spirits don't have signs. Hill: A character can have a sign if I want it so. Occupant: Well I can have a sign if I want to and screw both of you. Malik: Come on Greg, you just think that we are your characters.... Occupant: You were inhabited by Malaclypse the Younger. He caused you to create roles and those roles are being performed by us spirits. Ignotius: A perfectly normal pagan relationship. Hill: Well you can look at it like that if you want to, but I created Mal2 to my specifications just as I conceived all the rest of you. Occupant: You didn't invent Eris. She caused you to think you created the spirit of Malaclypse. Hill: Oh bull! Besides, I changed her so much the Greeks would never recognize her. Occupant: That's what She wanted! Ignotius: Deities change things around all the time. Malik: What you don't realize is that a spirit has a self identity. Hill: Nope. A spirit is a product of definition and the one who is doing the defining around here is me. Your identity is what I say it is. Just to prove it, I'm going to change your name. SINISTER DEXTER: It's OK with me. Fate is fate. I never much liked "Mad 2964 Malik" anyway. Ignotius: Besides people confused him with Joe Malik in ILLUMINATUS. Dexter: I sort of enjoyed the confusion part. Occupant: Doesn't prove anything anyway. Gypsie: That name sounds familiar. Where is it from? Hill: Its a name I came up with in the old days and never used it much. Its on page 38 of the PRINCIPIA referring to Vice President Spiro Agnew. I always thought I invented it but now it sounds like a Stan Freberg name now that I think about it. It may have stuck in my preconscious memory from early TV. Gypsie: Can you use it without his permission? Hill: If it is his? I don't know. I hope so. it means "left right" in Latin and is a perfect name for a libertarian anarchist. Actually in my kind of art the question of what can I use freely and what can I not is a very tricky problem. Gypsie: How do you mean? Hill: Well, take a collage for example. Like the early one on page 36 of the PRINCIPIA. Each little piece was extracted from some larger work created by some other artist and published and maybe copyrighted. I find them in newspapers and magazines mostly. Often from ads. With a collage you select and extract from your environment and then assemble into an original relationship. The PRINCIPIA itself is a collage. A conceptual collage. All of it happens simultaneously. But visually it is a montage, passing through time, like a book does. There is a lot of pirated stuff in the PRINCIPIA, especially in the margins. But also I sympathize with artists who must own and sell their works to earn a living. Art, like knowledge, should be free fodder for everyone. But it isn't It is perplexing. Gypsie: Where did all the things in PRINCIPIA come from? Hill: Well, a full answer would take another book in itself. Most of the writing credited to a name is a true person and almost always a different name means a different person. Most of the non-credited, you know, Malaclyps- e, text is mine although some things credited to either Mal2 or Omar were actually co-written and passed back and forth and rewritten by each of us. The marginalia, dingbats, and pasted in titles and heads and things came from wherever I found them--some of which is original but uncredited Discordian output, like the page head on 12 and other pages which is from a series of satiric memo pads from Our Peoples Underworld Cabal. All page layout is mine and some whole graphics like the Sacred Chao and the Hodge Podge Transformer are mine but mostly I just found stuff and integrated it. Mostly I did concept, say 50% of the writing, 10% of the graphics, all of the layout. Gypsie: Specifically, what are some of the sources? Hill: Weel, the poem on the front cover is by Walt Kelly and was spoken by 2965 one of his characters in Pogo. The government seals starting from page 1 are from a book of sample seals from the U.S. Government Printing Office. Western Union on page 6 got into the act because I used to be a teletype operator and had access to blank forms. Rubber stamps came from all over the place and some, like the apple on page 27, I carved myself. A few I ordered to my specification, like on page 1. The quote on the top of page 8 might be from Barnum, I'm not sure. The jumping man on page 12 is from an advertisement. I recognize the style--a popular commercial artist-- but I don't know his name. The Chinese on the page is a grocery ad, I think. The Norton money on page 14 is historic,plus my little additions. The apple on page 17,as well as the triangle on 23 and the Sacred Chao on 50 are, believe it or not, pasteups of mimeographs, from Seattle Cabal. That group produced the best damn mimeog- raphy I've ever seen. The Lick Here Box on page 23 is one of many tidbits making the rounds in alternative/underground newspapers in those days. Trip 5 page header on 29 was a chapter title in one of Tim Leary's books. The Knight on the bull with the TV antenna on his helmet on page 46 came from a very artistic magazine called Horseshit and put out by two brothers from Long Beach. I don't remember their names. Wonderful magazine. Occupant: Eris told Mal2 what to use and where to find it. Hill: Yeah, in a way that is right. That is why my name does not appear anywhere on the PRINCIPIA and why it was published with a broken copyright--Reprint What You Like. I knew I was taking liberties and didn't want my intentions to be misunderstood. It was an experiment and was intended to be an underground work and that involves a different set of ethics than commercial work. Gypsie: There are no real names at all? Hall: Oh, some. Camden Benares is a real name because he legally changed his original name to his Holy Name. Also, instead of using Mordecai Malignatus I used Bob Wilson's real name on page 12 because Werewolf Bridge was a work before Discordianism. And of course real people like Neils Bohr crop up in quotes. Gypsie: What do you think about the PRINCIPIA now? Would you want to change it? Hill: I consider it a successful work and I wouldn't want to change it. In some ways it is immature and I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, but it accomplished the objectives I set for myself and it has the effect I wanted it to have. There are a few errors though. Gypsie: Like what? Hill: Oh, I changed a quote from Tom Gnostic on page 61 and I don't think he ever did forgive me for it. He's right. Starbuck's Pebbles should have been preceded by the Myth of Starbuck which was being saved for something else and never got used. I should have used it when I had the chance. And then Eris did a neat little trick on me by having IBM make the Greek selectric typewriter element not coincide with all the characters on their keyboard. So the little "kallisti" that appears on the title page and lastly on the back cover came out "kallixti" and I was too dumb to know the difference. Gypsie: Will there ever be a Fifth Edition? Hill: There already is a Fifth Edition, by Mal2. It is a one page telegram 2966 that reduces everything to an infinite aum. I found it at Western Union where a machine got stuck and kicked out hundreds of pages of nothing but m's. He made it the Fifth Edition and then left. Principia/Malaclypse was a very personal work for me and actually took 10 years to culminate. it was one single statement that included my adolescence in the 50's and my young adulthood in the 60's. When I finally had the paste-ups done I knew that I had finished it. That is why, quote, Malaclypse left. I knew it was finished. I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was done. Occupant: See? Gypsie: Earlier you said that you met your objectives. Just what were those objectives? Hill: Well, that's hard to answer because it kept refining itself over the years. In 1969 I mainly though of myself as a cosmic clown and I set out to prove, by demonstration, that a deity can be anything at all. In other words, people invent gods and not the other way around. Later I decided that I was doing some kind of conceptual art. In the 50's my culture taught me that I was created by and for a deity, a specific male deity, and that all other deities are FALSE. Yet my growing experience showed me that any deity is true in some sense and false in some other sense. So I set out to do what my society told me is impossible--make a real religion from a patently absurd deity. In the 50's a female deity was blasphemy. In the 70's a humorous deity is still considered impossible, ridiculous, and blasphemous. As far as I'm concerned, I have proven my point. Eris is a real deity and even though I don't promote Erisianism as a serious religion.... Occupant: I do! Dexter: You speak for yourself. Ignotius: Here, here. Hill: ...I do point out that it makes just as much sense from its own perspective as all the others do from each of their own perspectives. Occupant: I think paganism is a valid spiritual path. I encourage Erisianism because it makes fun of itself. i think this is healthy. Ignotius: If you can live rewardingly with Goddess Eris you can live with any deity, including none at all. Dexter: I don't much go for the worship business but I argee with Occupant about the spirit of the thing. We live in a time of turmoil, the whole planet is in a state of change. If we, as a species, cower from the confusion then we die with the dying. This is revolution. Ignotius: I am an athiest myself. There is no Greg Hill. [laughter] 2967 Gypsie [to Hill] : What do you think of ILLUMINATUS? Hill: Oh, I love it. I was finishing PRINCIPIA when Shea and Wilson were working on ILLUMINATUS. It took Dell five years to publish it...maybe that is significant. The 1969 Discordian Society was a mail network between independent writers of various kinds. Norton Cabal was just me and my characters and I used the other Cabals as sort of a laboratory. In return other Discordians would bounce their stuff off of me. We would toss in ideas and anybody could take anything out. It was a concept stew. The exchanging of ideas and techniques broadened and encouraged all of us. I like ILLUMINATUS for the surrealism. A very effective method of writing. Ignotius: I got misquoted. Worse, I wasn't even in that scene and if I had been then I would have said something else. Dexter [to Ignotius]: That was me in that scene. Ignotius: Oh, is that what that was? Dexter: He got our names mixed up. Hill: He got mixed up about me too, in COSMIC TRIGGER. Bob says that when Oswald was buying the assassination rifle, my girlfriend was printing the first edition of PRINCIPIA on Jim Garrison's Xerox. It wasn't my girlfriend, it was Kerry's; it wasn't the FIRST ED PRINCIPIA, it was some earlier Discordian thought; it wasn't Garrison's Xerox, it was his mimeograph; and it wasn't just before Kennedy was shot but a couple of years before that.* The FIRST ED PRINCIPIA, by the way, was reproduced at Xerox Corp when xerography was a new technology Gypsie. Which was my second New Orleans trip in 1965. I worked for a guy on Bourbon Street who was a Xerox salesman by day. Dexter: I think that George Dorn took too much guff from Hagbard. If someone pulls a weapon on me, I'm more inclined to either leave or kill the sonofabitch. Occupant: You are supposed to be a pacifist. Dexter: I'm speaking figuratively of course. I'll tell you more tomorrow. Gypsie [to Hill]: Did you really translate erotic Etruscan poetry? Hill: Sure, but I used a pen name. I signed it "Robert Anton Wilson". [A quick rap is heard on the door] Gypsie: I have only one question left... Dexter: I'll get it. Gypsie: ...what I really want to know is how can we all fit inside of a tiny little post office box? Dexter[to Gypsie]:It's a telegram for you, from Mal2. Gypsie: To me? 2968 [Paper tearing] Gypsie [reading]: "If I told everybody how they could live inside of a post office box then everybody would stop paying landlords and go live inside their post office boxes. It would collapse the building! Can you imagine, post offices collapsing all over the country, the hemisphere, the PLANET! The whole world's communication system would be destroyed. No,no, I must not say. I dare not! ------------- * I checked this further with Mr. Thornley. He says that the woman in question was not his girlfriend, she was just a friend, and it wasn't a couple of years before Kennedy was shot but had to be a couple of years after (but before Garrison investigated Thornley). --GS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2969 RITE OF HANDFASTING Joy and Tom Williams April 16, 1994 ce MUSIC : Beltane Wedding Dance by Gwidion. -- While Circle forms, those entering are smudged by ASSISTANTS standing on both sides of SOUTH side of circle. HP and/or HPS: explain for non-Pagans the idea of Handfasting, why a circle instead of pews, etc. CIRCLE CASTING (HPS casts circle followed by FLOWER MAIDEN strewing petals): We cast the circle of ancient lore; Waves upon a timeless shore. With no begninning, nor an end; It always knows a foe from friend. Oroboros, of legends old; Rings of power, forged in gold. Circle of Life, ring of stones; Cycle of creation, birth to bones. A ring around the silv'ry Moon; We cast you now, o ancient rune! QUARTERS: (CRYSTAL BEARER takes crystal from altar and gives it to the EAST quarter caller. Caller invokes power holding up CRYSTAL. When done, the caller hands CRYSTAL back to bearer who takes it to the next quarter. After NORTH, bearer places CRYSTAL back on altar.) EAST: I call the Eastern powers of air, You whose breath of life we share, Bring understanding, kindness, care, And loving words, both clear and fair, Come bless this day our rite of love, As below then so above. SOUTH: I call the Southern powers of fire, Whose light doth stir the poet's lyre, With love's bright spark our hearts inspire, Bring passion's flame, bring sweet desire, Come bless this day our rite of love, As below then so above. WEST: Oh powers of the Western sea, Oh water's flowing unity, Bring feeling, warmth and empathy, That all our lives may blessed be, Come bless this day our rite of love, As below then so above. 2970 NORTH: Oh Northern powers of living Earth, Charge our souls from death to birth, On solid ground of rock and loam, Bring forth our food and build our home, Come bless this day our rite of love, As below then so above. GODDESS INVOCATION (HP) Laughter-loving Aphrodite! Venus Amathusia! Come to me with laughing breast, Come on waves with golden crest, Come with doves and golden light, Drawn by swans and sparrows bright. Alight! Alight! I am thy man, I am thy mate! Receive me til our storm abate! Thy green glades echo with my calls, Come to me from emerald halls, Flanked by maidens winding there, Rose and mytle in thy golden hair, Come to me! to me! to me! And mate with me upon the grass, Laughing, lusty, oh ravishing lass! Our bodies arch and strain and twine, I am thine and thou art mine! Come from heavens of azure hue, Ocean born and ever new, Pulsing, laughing, yearning straining, Pleasure, lust, all life containing, Race with me through glades of green, Exalting, loving, oh rapturous queen! To me! to me! Oh come to me! And enter, merge, enfold, unite! Suffuse desire with golden light! Never sated in eons of time, I am thine and thou art mine! GOD INVOCATION (HPS) Oh horned one, goat-foot, Great God Pan! Come to me with eyes of fire, And with thy pipes awake desire, Come with wild and lustful grin, Herald of your flame within, Io Pan! Io Pan! Io Pan, Pan, Pan! Shout to me from scented wood, The call of all that's wild and good, Come to me with shaggy thighs, And let the hills return our cries, Come with satyrs bearing wine, I am thine and thou art mine! Come with joyous lusty laugh, Come with swollen ruddy staff, Race with me thorugh halls of green, Thou art my God and I your Queen, 2971 And spend with me a tender hour, Making love within my bower, To me! To me! Oh come to me! And come oh God of stream and wood, Oh God of life and all that's good, Never sated in eons of time, I am thine and thou art mine! HPS: And by your rites of sacred marriage I inoke ye: Shiva and Parvati Jove and Juno Dagda and Boyne Odin and Freya HP: And by your sacred rites of marriage I invoke ye: Persephone and Hades Nuit and Geb Rhiannon and Pwyll Ishtar and Tammuz HP & HPS: Blessed Be! ALL: Blessed Be HP: Our work today is a happy one. We are gathered in the presence of the deities of the fruitful trees, the flowing waters, the warming sun and the siging air, and in the sight of the Goddes of our Blessed Earth to celebrate the joining of our two dear friends Joy and Tom, in union by the fasting of their hands by ancient rite. HPS (holding up CORD): This is the cord of handfasting. It will tie Tom and Joy together with bonds of love. For such bonds to be strong they need support -- the support of the lovers themselves, the support of the Gods and the support of a community of family and friends. we ask now that each of you give your support, letting it flow as loving strength into the cord as it is passed around the circle. ALL SING: Love is a River (as CORD is passed around circle) HPs (to assistants): Now open the circle, cut wide the gate, for two are coming who would be made one! ASSISTANTS: (Open gate at SOUTH and stand at each side as couple enters..They then take BROOM from altar and lay it across the gate, remaining there with the circle joined together again.) (HP: Rings bell three times. Processional, Spring Strathsprey by Gwydion, vocal) (Couple walk hand-in-hand deosil around the inside of the circle. After a 2972 full turn around the circle, GROOM stops in the WEST while BRIDE continues on around to the EAST, at which point they both approach the altar from opposite directions.) (Music ends when all are in place, or the song is ended.) HPS: Brothers and sisters, the Bride comes from the heart of the dawn, and the Bridegroom from the sunset. There is a wedding in the valley; a day too vast for recording! There is magic to be done here; the magic of Love! HP: You have come together in this sacred grove to stand in the presence of our Lady of Love and our Lord of Lust, that they may bestow upon you their bountiful blessings of everlasting love and devotion through the sacred rite of handfasting. This is a bond not to be entered into lightly, but with seriousness, reverence, and joy. HPS: Is it your intention, Tom, to be wed to Joy in the sight of the gods and of these people? to be tied to her in giving, in dreams, and in intentions, and to vow to her your love and commitment? GROOM: (answers) HPS: Have you considered the gavity of your commitment? GROOM: (answers) HPs: Have you considered the levity of your commitment? GROOM: (answers) HP: Is it your intention, Joy, to be wed to Tom in the sight of the Gods and of these people? to be tied to him in giving, in dreams, and in intentions, and to vow to her your love and commitment? BRIDE: (answers) HP: Have you considered the gavity of your commitment? BRIDE: (answers) HP: Have you considered the levity of your commitment? BRIDE: (answers) ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2973 HPS (facing BRIDE and holding up PENTACLE): Joy, Thou shalt be the star that rises from the twilight sea Thou shalt bring a man dreams to rule his destiny Thou shalt bring the moon-tides to the soul of a man The tides that flow and ebb, and flow again, The magic that moves in the moon and the sea; These are thy secret, and they belong to thee. Thou art the Eternal Woman, thou art She, The tides of all men's souls belong to thee. Danu in heaven, on Earth, Persephone, Diana of the Moon and Hecate, Veiled Isis, Aphrodite from the sea, All these thou art, and they are seen in thee. HP (facing GROOM and holding WAND): Tom, All wild creatures hear thy call upon the haunted wind. Within thy soul the Horned One returns to Earth again. Together you shall manifest the magick of the man And falcons soar from out the sky to perch upon thy hand. The serpent's wisdom thou shalt learn from tip of forked tongue. The fleetness of the white stag's flight in starlight or in sun. Lord of Light and Lord of Shadow; keeper of the key Which unlocks the door of dreams, whereby men come to thee. Cernunnos, Tammuz, Horus, Pan; by name we set thee free! 0, Shepherd of the wild woodland, may thou be one with he! (HP turns to HPS holding WAND. HPS picks up CHALICE and ATHAME; anoints with water, touches to flower petals; censes; then places over WAND. The HP & HPS hold WAND aloft between them.) HPS: Above you are the stars, below you are the stones. As time passes, remember... Like a star should your love be constant, Like the earth should your love be firm. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience each with the other, For storms will come, but they will go quickly. Be free in giving of affection and of warmth; Make love often, and be sensuous to one another. Have no fear, and let not the ways or words of the unenlightened give you unease. For the old gods are with you, Now and always! HP (holding wand): Is it your wish, Joy, to become one with this man? BRIDE: (answers) HP: Then give him your vow. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2974 BRIDE: I, Joy wed you, Tom and pledge to build with you a place of love, nourishment and happiness within our hearts and within our home. I pledge you love, honor and trust. love, both soft and tender and love suffused with passion and playfulness; love which will honor your inner deity, endure hardship and nurture honesty, trust and devotion. I pledge to support and cherish your growth in the human adventure; to explore with you the wonders of life; to hold you in my love when you are ill or sad and to nurture your healing, growth, development and actualization. As you evolve so shall I for we are as one and reflect one another. I promise to create a home with you that shall be a haven for us both, a place of welcome for family, friends and lovers and a place of comfort in times of sorrow. I promise to love, honor, protect and nourish you as long as we both shall live HPS: Is it your wish, Tom, to become one with this woman? GROOM: (answers) HPS: Then give her your vow. GROOM : I, Tom wed you, Joy and pledge to build with you a place of love, nourishment and happiness within our hearts and within our home. I pledge you love, honor and trust. love, both soft and tender and love suffused with passion and playfulness; love which will honor your inner deity, endure hardship and nurture honesty, trust and devotion. I pledge to support and cherish your growth in the human adventure; to explore with you the wonders of life; to hold you in my love when you are ill or sad and to nurture your healing, growth, development and actualization. As you evolve so shall I for we are as one and reflect one another. I promise to create a home with you that shall be a haven for us both, a place of welcome for family, friends and lovers, and a place of comfort in times of sorrow. I promise to love, honor, protect and nourish you as long as we both shall live. HP: Does any say nay? GROOM: Then we are happy, but we would yet ask the blessing of the May Queen on our union. BRIDE: 2975 Oh Queen of the May, we ask your blessing on our union and on our connection with this land which is our home upon the Earth. MAY QUEEN: As you marry, take my blessing and the blessing of our Mother Earth that you may live long within Her breast and flourish in Her abundance. (Takes cord from the altar and hands it to HP and HPS) I bid you bind them in love with my blessing, HP & HPS (tying the hands of bride and groom together with the cord): This day you marry your friend, the one you love, laugh with, live for, dream with. HP (handing ATHAME to GROOM): This knife is for the troubles that lie ahead. HPS (handing CHALICE to BRIDE): This cup is for the love that conquers them. GROOM (holding up ATHAME): I bring the energy of yang, active, bright, logical and hard. I bid you blend these energies with yours to make us whole and keep this token on the altar of our love. BRIDE (holding up CHALICE): I bring the energy of yin, dark, intuitive, flowing and soft. I bid you blend these energies with yours and make us whole and keep this token on the altar of our love. (GROOM dips ATHAME into CHALICE) HP: Yin and yang, male and female, light and dark. neither may stand alone, but out of their eternal interplay the universe is born. So it is above and so it is here below. HP: Now share you the water of life, the blood of the sacred Goddess our Mother Earth, water that binds us and all living things to her body. (BRIDE and GROOM share water and kiss) HP: Out of the billions of the Earth, these two have come, have looked into each other's eyes, and are now made one. Their ways have converged and shall now be together. In our deepest being we hope that their path may be pleasant and the sky fair where they reside. But if trouble comes, as it can surely come to all, may the pressure of the trial only bring them more closely together. With clasped hands and united hearts, may they bear life's sorrows together and share life's joys together. 2976 (BRIDE pours libation and speaks however she is moved, then hands CHALICE to GROOM, who sips, libates and passes cup to HPS, who sips, libates and passes CHALICE to HP. COUPLE then moves around the circle deosil greeting guests while chant is sung: I am the Heart and the Soul of Creation, then return to altar.) HPS (gives Navajo Wedding Blessing): Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you shall be the warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness for you. Now there is no more loneliness. Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness. And may your days be good and long upon this Earth. (GROOM thanks guests and invites them to the feast.) (ASSISTANTS open the gate in SOUTH where the BROOM has been lying and hold the broom a LITTLE off the ground. HP and HPS: lead the chant: JUMP THE BROOM! as COUPLE runs around the circle and jumps the BROOM on the way out.) HP & HPS (Stand on opposite sides of altar, raising arms): We thank you Gods and Goddesses of the Sacred Marriage for attending and blessing this, our rite of life and love. We bid you now, Hail and Farewell! ALL: Hail and Farewell! HP: Oh mighty Lord of life and death, whose hooves dance upon the altrar of Time and whose pipes play the song of Never-Ending, we thank You for Your blessing and bid You now Hail and Farewell! ALL: Hail and Farewell! HPS: Oh gracious Goddess, Queen of love and birth whose body is the green and flowering Earth and the dust at whose feet are the stars of heaven, we thank You for Your blessing and bid You now Hail and Farewell! QUARTER CALLERS: We thank you now, oh powers of Earth (Water, Fire, Air) HPS: All from air into air, let the misty curtain part. All is ended, all is done What has been must now be gone! What is done by ancient art Must merry meet and merry part! AND MERRY MEET AGAIN! Well, there it is. It was beautiful. And so smooth. Hope you all enjoyed it. Tom wrote the invocation to Pan and Aphrodite. If you want 2977 to use it though would expect people to ask permission to use it, since it is copyright protected in the Green Egg. Anyway, this is a guide, and it is OUR h-fasting. People can use it as a guide, but it is much more magickal if you create your own. Thou art Goddess! Joy Williams -- ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2978 SHADOW WEAVER GROVE ADF BELTANE RITUAL 5/5/1990 This is a transcription of the original planned ritual for Beltane forthe Shadow Weaver Grove, transcribed with permission by Joseph Tellerof the Wonderland BBS 508-663-6220 WWIVNet Node 5803 for distributionto the Pagan Community at large. Shadow Weaver Grove can also bewritten to via Surface mail at : PO Box 5451, Billerica MA 01821.Distribution for non-commercial use of this document is granted, solong as the wording and information contained herein remains unchangedin the process of distribution. ___________________________________________________________________________ I. Starting the Ritual A) Processional : (starting Chant {Ku-Wa-Te}) To enter the circle each person must pass through four "gates" representing each of the Three Worlds (Land, Sea & Sky) and Fire. Each person steps to the first Gate Keeper and is asked: "What do you ask of the Gate of Earth (Sea) (Air)?" AN answer is given or left unspoken, and the person is marked by the Guardian (with mud, water and brush of a feather) and proceeds to the next Gate and is questioned again. The Guardian of the last Gate, Fire, smudges the person before they enter the circle. When everyone is in the circle, the chant continues ("Ku-Wa-Te") as the Gatekeepers come into the circle and prepare themselves. B) Statement of Purpose : We are here tonight to honor the Goddess Danu, called the Earth-mother and to honor the God Belemos, Called the Sun King. We honor them and ask them to bless us and rekindle the warmth of the world. C) Centering Meditation: Group meditation and collective consciousness: All present are brought together with a group meditation, to form a "group-mind"; to help everyone center and bring themselves together to work in accord. D) Earth Mother Invocation : Oh Earth-Mother We praise thee That seed springeth That flower openeth That grass groweth We praise thee For winds that whisper Through the shining Birch Through the lively Pines Through the mighty Oak We praise thee For all things Oh Earth-Mother who gives lifeII. The Active Ritual Invocation of Ogma the Gate Keeper or Mannanon in English: (Visualization is a triangle shaped iris opening) Gate Keeper of Fire: O Ogma, Lord of the Gates, Lord of Knowledge, open the ways for us O Mannanon, master of the realm beyond the seas, grant us passage to your kingdom. O great God of knowledge, we wish to walk your roads. Reveal to us your teachings, reveal to us the safe path. Come wash the nighttime clean; Come Close the gap of darkness in between. We praise you for the brightness of your power. 2979 We praise you for the gift of knowledge. Guide us to the place we seek. Walk with us Ogma! Walk with us Mannanon! CHANT: We invoke thee Ogma, opener of every Gate We invoke Mannanon, opener of every Gate. You shall reach us, You shall teach us and reveal our fate. You shall reach us, You shall teach us and reveal our fate. B) Consecration of the Waters: [After each cup is consecrated it is passed around the members of the circle so that each may drink from it. When the cup returns to the start the remaining liquid is spilled unto the Earth or into the fire. Contents may be spring water, or an alcholic brew if alcohol it is preferred to have been brewed by a member of the Grove.] Druid of the Gate of Land: Spirits of nature, of the trees and rocks, of the animals and Earth, give us your favor and your companionship, share with us the bond of spirit and of life on Earth. Remember us and speak to us in our hearts. Give us your teachings and laughter, become one amoung us here tonight, Consecrate these waters. Behold the Waters of Life! {All Chant "Fur and Feather"} Druid of the Gate of Sea: Ancestors of Long ago, be with us, give us your favor and your wisdom, share with us the bond of kinship and of life upon Earth. Remember us and speak to us in our hearts. Give us your knowledge and your blessing, become one with us here tonight; Consecrate these waters. Behold The Waters of Life! {All Chant "Blood of the Ancients") Druid of the Gate of Sky: Gods and Goddesses, be with us, give us your favor and blessings, share with us the bonding essance and our existence upon your sphere of life. Remember us and speak to us in our hearts. give us your strength and your peace, become one amoung us here tonight. Consecrate these waters. Behold the Waters of Life! {All Chant "Mother I feel you"} C) Individual Offerings and prayers: At this point, all present that wish to may make an offering or offer prayers. If anyone has an offering or a prayer they would like to make they step forward and do so, individual offerings to particular patrons or spirit helpers are done at this time. D) Sacrifice with the Willow Branch: Gate keeper of fire makes a final offering of a willow branch, to send the energy to the deities of the occasion. It is sacrificed into the central bonfire. Gate Keeper of Fire: Our praise goes up with thee on the wings of eagles; our voices are carried up to thee on the shoulders of the wonds. hear now O Belemos, O Danu, we pray thee, as we offer up this sacrifice of life. Accept it we pray thee, and cleanse our hearts, giving to us of your peace and life. E) Divination : A scrying is done with crystal/flame, to find if the gods have accepted our prayers and will be with us. If the omen is bad, offerings are made again. If they are rejected thrice, the circle is broken immediately and the ritual ended. F) The Fourth Consecration: Here the wards are set to protect us during the magic working. 2980 Druid #1 (Fire): We greet you, Brother Wabun, Golden Eagle of the East. We ask that you watch over us this night, and share with us your wisdom, Let your keen vision guide us over the obstacles before us. We greet you, Brother Shawnodese, Guardian of the South, great Coyote. We ask that you walk with us this night, and guide us as we walk this path of learning. We greet you, Waboose, White Buffalo Woman of the North, Grace us with your company, and walk with us night as we seek the wisdom that surrounds us. We greet you, brother Mudjekeewis, Great Bear of the West. Walk with us this night and aid us in our journey to wisdom. At this time, would each of you please meditate on your personal needs and desires. G) Induction of Receptivity : (Litany of the Waters) [D1 can be Guardian of Fire, D2 can be the Group response. If the group doesn't know the responses one of the other guardians should lead them into them] D1: Of what does the Earth-Mother give, that we may know of the continual flow and renewal of life? D2: The waters of Life. D1: From whence do these waters flow? D2: From the bosom of the Earth-Mother,the ever changing All-Mother D1: And how do we honor this gift that causes life? D2: By partaking of the waters of life. D1: Has the Earth-Mother given forth her bounty? D2: She has D1: Then give me the waters! Final consecration and sharing: A fourth cup is consecrated. O Belemos, O Danu, hear us and answer us! Hallow these waters! We your children have praised you, and now we ask from you healing, blessing, power and inspiration...Behold the waters of life! {Passing chant: "Ku-Wa-Te"} III. The Work of The Circle A) The Magic Working: Tonight we pray for the prosperity of all those here. May our fortunes increase, may the Goddess and God smail on our endeavors and bring us good luck in all that we do. We ask that you bless these small tokens of our wishes, and grant us the success that we ask for. {Here a small basket with a crystal and appropriate symbols of general prosperity were passed around so that all might add energy to it} B) Affirmation of Success: D1: Belemos and Danu have Blessed us! D2: Every time we invoke them, they become stronger and more alert to the needs of their people. D1: With joy in our hearts let us return to the realm of mortals to do the will of the Gods and our own. D2: Yet, before we leave, we must give thanks to those whome we have invited here today. IV. Closing: A) Thanking and closing of the Quaters: We thank you, Brother Wabun, Golden Eagle of the East. You have watched over us this night, and shared with us your wisdom, Your keen vision has shown us the ostacles before us. We ask you, go in peace, as you came in peace. So we may walk together again. We thank you, Brother Shawnodese, Guardian of the South, great Coyote. Once again your lessons have helped us, and shown us the truth in ourselves. We ask you, go in peace, as you came in 2981 peace, So we may walk together again. We thank you, Waboose, White Buffalo of the North. You have graced us with your company, and walked with us this night. You have helped us see the wisdom that surrounds us. We ask you, go in peace, as you came in peace. So we may walk together again. We thank you Brother Mudjekeewis, Great Bear of the West. You have shown us your power and kept us safe in our journey to wisdom. We ask you, go in peace, as you came in peace, so we may walk together again. B) Thanking of the Gods and Goddess: Gods and Goddesses of the old times, spirits of the old times and of this place, people of the old times and of our ancestors, our kindred we thank you. C) Closing the Gate: Gate Keeper of Fire : O Ogma, Lord of the Gates, Lord of KNowledge, we thank you. O Mhannon, we thank you. Now let the Gates between the Worlds be closed! D) Return from the group-mind, grounding and centering. Reverse the Tree Meditation. Relaxing of the Grove's Wards. Libation: D1: To thee we retrun this portion of thy bounty, O Danu our Mother, even as we must someday return unto thee. D2: We have finished this ceremony. D1: So be it! ALL: Biodh se! ___________________________________________________________________________ CHANTS USED DURING RITUAL: {Ku-Wa-Te} Ku-Wa-Te Lay-no Lay-no Ma-ho-teHi-ano, Hi-ano, Hi-anoKu-Wa-Te Lay-no Ma-ho-teHi-ano, Hi-ano, Hi-ano We are one with the infinite sun Forever, Forever, ForeverWe are one with the Infinite Sun Forever, Forever, Forever. {Mother Nature Waits} Mother Earth provides Mother Earth Provides Mother Earth Provides all for us to surviveMother Earth Provides Mother Nature Waits Mother Nature Waits Beca- use life never ends, she always begins again Mother Nature waits. {Hoof and Horn} Hoof and horn, Hoof and hornAll that dies shall be reborn.Corn and Grain, corn and grainAll that falls shall rise again. {Blood of the Ancients} It's the blood of the AncientsThat runs through our veinsAnd the forms pass,But the Circle of life remains. {Fur and Feather} Fur and Feather and scale and skin Different without but the same within Great of body but one of soul Through all creatures are the Gods made Whole {Mother I feel You} Mother I feel you under my feet Mother I feel your heart beat Mother I feel your heart beat Father I see you where the eagle flies Spirit gonna carry me higher and higher Spirit gonna carry me higher and higher ________________________________________________________________________ ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2982 BRIGIT OF THE CELTS ------------------- Brigit was one of the great Triple Goddesses of the Celtic people. She appeared as Brigit to the Irish, Brigantia in Northern England, Bride in Scotland, and Brigandu in Brittany. Many legends are told about Brigit. Some say that there are three Brigits : one sister in charge of poetry and inspiration who invented the Ogham alphabet, one in charge of healing and midwifery, and the third in charge of the hearth fire, smithies and other crafts. This catually indicates the seperate aspects of her Threefold nature and is a neat division of labor for a hard-working goddess. Brigit was probably originally a Sun Goddess, and a charming story of her birth is that she was born at sunrise and a tower of flame burst from the forehead of the new born Goddess that reached from Earth to Heaven. It was likely She who inspired the line in the famous Song of Amergin: "I am a fire in the head." Her penchant for smithcraft led to her association by the Romans with Minerva/Athena. As a warrior Goddess, She favored the use of the spear or the arrow. Indeed, various interpetations of her name exist including, "Bright Arrow," "The Bright One," "the Powerful One" and "The High One," depending upon the region and the dialect. As a Goddess of herbalism, midwifery and healing She was in charge of Water as well as Fire. I don't beleive that anyone has ever counted all teh vast number of sacred wells and springs named after or dedicated to this Goddess. A story is told of how two lepers came to one of her sacred springs for healing and She instructed one Leper to wash the other. The skin of the freshly bathed man was cleansed of the disease and Brigit told the man who was healed to wash the man who had bathed him so that both men would be whole. The man who was healed was now too disgusted to touch the other Leper and would have left him, but Brigit herself washed the leper and struck down the other arrogant fellow with leperousy once more before he could leave. Offerings to the watery Brigit were cast into the well in the form of coins or, even more ancient, brass or gold rings. Other sacrifices were offered where three streams came together. Her cauldron of Inspiration connected her watery healing aspect with her fiery poetic aspect. Brigit is clearly the best example of the survival of a Goddess into Christian times. She was cannonized by the Catholic church as St. Brigit and various origins are given to this saint. The most popular folktale is that She was midwife to the Virgin Mary, and thus was always inviked by women in labor. The more official story was that She was a Druid's daughter who predicted the coming of Christianity and then was baptised by St. Patrick. She became a nun and later an abbess who founded the Abbey at Kildare. The Christian Brigit was said to have had the power to appoint the bishops of her area, a strange role for an abbess, made stranger by her requirement that her bishops also be practicing goldsmiths. Actually, the Goddess Brigit had always kept a shrine at Kildare, Ireland, with a perpetual flame tended by nineteen virgin priestesses called Daughters of the Flame. No male was ever allowed to come near it; nor did those women ever consort with men. Even their food and other supplies were brought to them by women of the nearby village. When Catholicism took over in Ireland, the shrine became a convent and the priestesses became nuns but the same traditions were held and the eternal flame was kept burning. Their tradition was that each day a different priestess/nun was in charge of the sacred fire and on the 20th day of each cycle, teh fire was miraculously tended 2983 by Brigit Herself. There into the 18th century, the ancient song was sung to her : "Brigit, excellant woman, sudden flame, may the bright fiery sun take us to the lasting kingdom." For over a thousand years, the sacred flame was tended by nuns, and no one knows how long before that it had been tended by the priestesses. In 1220 CE, a Bishop became angered by the no-males policy of the Abbey of St. Brigit of Kildare. He insisted that nuns were subordinate to priests and therefore must open their abbey and submit themselves to inspection by a priest. When they refused and asked for another Abbess or other female official to perform any inspections, the Bishop was incensed. He admonished them to obediance and then decreed that teh keeping of the eternal flame was a Pagan custom and 6rdered the sacred flame to be extinguished. Even then, She remained the most poular Irish saint along with Patrick. In the 1960's, under Vatican II modernization, it was declared that there was insufficient proof of Brigit's sanctity or even of her historical existance, and so teh Church's gradual pogrom against Brigit was successful at last and She was thus decanonized. It is very difficult to obtain images or even holy cards of ST. Brigit outside of Ireland anymore. Her festival is held on Febuary 1st or 2nd. It corresponds to the ancient Celtic fire festival of Imbolc or Oimelc which celebrated the birthing and freshening of sheep and goats (it really is a Feast of Milk). This festival was Christianized as Candlemas or Lady Day and Her Feast day, La Feill Bhride, was attended by tremendous local celebration and elaborate rituals. Her festival is also called Brigit. Brigit (the Goddess and the Festival) represents the stirring of life again after the dead months of the winter, and her special blessings are called forth at this time. Since She was booted out of teh Church for being Pagan, it is incumbant upon us Pagans to restore Her worship to its former glory especially those of us of Celtic ancestory. Here is an ancient rite to invite Brigit into your home at the time of her Holiday: Clean your hearth thoroughly in teh morning and lay a fire without kindling it, then make yourself a "Bed for Brigid" and place it near the hearth. The bed can be a small basket with covers and tiny pillow added as plain or fancy as you like. If you have no hearth, you can use the stove and put the bed behind it. Then at sundown light a candle rubbed with rosemary oil and invite Brigit into your home and into er bed; use the candle to kindle your hearthfire if possible. Make your own poem to invite Her or use the ancient song mentioned earlier. Let the candle burn at least all night in a safe place. You might even want to begin the custom of keeping the eternal flame; it is a popular custom in some magickal and Wiccan traditions. AFter all, it's up to us now to keep the spirit of Brigit alive and well for the next thousand years at least!!! Brigid is not really a Celtic Mother Goddess. She is generally considered a Goddess of fire/smithcraft, of poetry and of healing. One of her roles is as midwife, but although she has a son, she is not usually seen as a mother. I don't know any books that deal specifically with Brighidh, but please look for a book called "Celtic Mythology" by Proinsias MacCana and for "Gods and Heroes of the Celts" by Marie Lousie Sjoestadt for more information about Celtic deities. They are both VERY good sources. 2984 Brighidh is a Goddess of healing, smithcraft and poetry, brewer of mead and ale, a lawgiver, a midwife, supposedly daughter of the Daghda, mother of the poet Cairbre, and of the Gods Brian, Iuchar and Iucharba. She was transformed into a Christian Saint and became the foster mother of Christ. Some sources say that the healer/smith/poet were embodied in one Goddess, other sources claim that she was three sisters, all named Brighidh. Her holy day falls (on our calendar) on February 2nd (I wonder if She likes groundhogs...) called Imbolc, Oimelc or Lady Day. Candles are blessed that day in the Catholic churches. By: Ido To: Teakan Re: Somethnig about Brighid: Brigit/Brigid/Bride was the daughter of Dagda. She was the proctector of the poets, the forge and the healing persons. Her son Ruadan, which she had with Bres, was killed by Goibnui. For her died son she sounds the first kenning of Eireland. She also was put into the cult and the person of Brigit from Kildare, which made the first female parish after Christianity falls into Eireland. The convent of Kildare has had a neverending fire, which was protected by the sisters of the parish. The saint Brigit is the second patron saint of Eireland. within the scottish tradition Brigit belongs together with the time of the year "Season of the lambs" and the comming of spring. Brigit overcomes the control of the Cailleach Bheur. ΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝΝ 2985 THE FINER POINTS OF RITUAL: A Comparative Approach to Liturgical History, Theology and Design ======================================= A Heartland Pagan Festival Keynote Address by Mike Nichols Participants: Morning Glory Zell Otter Zell Rhiannon Bennett Carolyn Clark Eldoreth Grey Squirrel Anahita Morwen Chris Dix other audience members not identified [NOTE: This transcription was made from an audio tape dub of a videorecording of the event. The microphone placement made some of the comments from the audience unintelligible, and those sections were omitted. In some cases, the comments were picked up but it was impossible to identify the speaker. Because of the lack of visual cues, it is also possible that some of the speakers are incorrectly identified. To improve readability, some very minor editing was done.] Rhiannon: I'd like to introduce someone whom we are really proud to have in our community. He has been involved in Witchcraft -- in teaching free Witchcraft classes -- for over eighteen years now. He is also a teacher of parapsychology at the University of Missouri at Kansas City. He owns the Magick Lantern, which is our occult bookstore here in town -- the ONLY occult bookstore we actually have here in town. He's very instrumental in introducing people to Wicca through his classes -- over 6,000 people! Granted all of them didn't decide to stay with us, which is fine. But think how many myths that helped shatter, and helped to make us a valid religion in some people's eyes. And a lot of times, that's what we need. Every time I say something about a particular speaker, people say "Well, what has he written? What has she written?" Books are really wonderful but, as I'm sure you've read, there are some good books, and there are some mediocre books, and there are some that are pure trash out there. Just because they say they're a Pagan writer doesn't mean a thing. Sort through and pick out the good stuff. People like Mike help us go through and figure out what's real and what's not real. And then help you decide, even out of what's real, what's real for you. So I'm really proud to have him in our community, and I'd like to welcome him. (APPLAUSE) Mike Nichols: I hope you don't mind if I do this sitting down. I want to present it more like a workshop than a standard lecture. First of all, I want to start out with a few thank 2986 you's. I just want to say a personal thank you to Rhiannon who has acted as liaison between the Heartland Spiritual Alliance and the Magick Lantern, which was sometimes a difficult and thankless task, but she's done it well. When I saw her stand on the chair in the hall last night and scream "TWO pieces of chicken! ONLY two!", I thought I've never seen anyone look so much in their element. (LAUGHTER) So thank you so much. And not only to Rhiannon, but to the organizers of the Heartland Pagan Festival all together. I think they've done a wonderful job. Let's give them a hand. (APPLAUSE) What we're going to be doing in here is kind of an advanced class on ritual design, what we sometimes like to call liturgics. Before this is all over, we're going to be into such areas as liturgical theology, liturgical history, and liturgical aesthetics. For those of you who are local and who have taken my class, or seen me do speeches at psychic fairs and such, you will be happy to note that this is not recycled material. This is the very first time I am presenting any of this material anywhere. So I hope you enjoy it. I'm starting from the premise that most people here are already fairly well advanced in Paganism and have gotten to the point where they already know about ritual and realize why it's there, why there is a need for it, and are beginning to ask other questions about ritual. What does it take to make a "good" ritual? What kind of elements do you need to have, what kind of order, what kind of structure does a ritual have to have to work? Are there certain things a ritual needs to work? How can you tell if a ritual has worked? And questions like that start happening only after you've been into it a little while. If you are new to this whole area, and really are not that conversant with why ritual is used anyway, let me just gloss that point by saying there are a couple of really good books that I think give you a good understanding of that. One is "The Spiral Dance" by Starhawk. Another is "Drawing Down the Moon" by Margot Adler. I think either one of those would inform you as to why Witches use ritual in the first place. The need for ritual is sometimes one of the most difficult things for newcomers in this area to understand because quite often, if they've been brought up in a religious tradition that downplays ritual, for example, (and many Protestant religious traditions say that ritual is only so much gobbledy-gook, etc., that there's nothing to it), it's a real stumbling block for people to understand why the ritual is there. I've noticed that people with Roman Catholic backgrounds or a background in Judaism seem to have a better grasp on what ritual is there for and what it accomplishes. When we get into this kind of work, let me just say that much of my talk here today is going to be highly speculative, highly theoretical, and please do not take it as a final position paper on anything. It is at best a preliminary report on work in progress. We're going to do a lot of comparative liturgics as a 2987 way of understanding our own ritual development. When it comes to ritual or liturgy -- whichever word you want to use, and I'm going to be using them interchangeably -- it has always seemed to me that liturgical theology should be on the cutting edge of theological concerns in Paganism. There are many religious writers who believe that religions basically have three dimensions -- any religion. First of all, it's theology: what are it's beliefs? Secondly, it's social structure: how does this religion impact on the world around it? And thirdly, it's ritual: what do the people do to express their religious values? It has always seemed to me that within Paganism in general, and Witchcraft certainly in particular, it is the liturgical dimension that is the most often in focus. Theology I think has been rather slow. It is developing, Pagan theological concerns, but it's developing late. If you read Starhawk and Adler and people like that, you're beginning to see the beginnings of Pagan theology. As far as the social dimension, there was a time of course when Paganism had a social dimension, when most people were Pagan. But for the last couple of thousand years we have been a minority religion -- a very small minority in some cases. And I think because of that we don't yet have a very strong sociological impact. But that too may be changing, through festivals like this, when Pagans start gathering in big enough numbers to start talking about such things as social change. For example, at one of the workshops we had the other day, somebody suggested that one of the things Pagans could do to increase their visibility and positive image in the community is to take on community projects like answering telephones for the local public TV telethons. Yes, this is our local Coven on the phone lines! (LAUGHTER) Or this is the local Coven who have all decided to go down and do a park clean-up on a particular day. When we get enough people doing stuff like that, then Witchcraft will have its social dimension. In the meantime, the strongest dimension I think for most of us is the ritual, is the liturgy. When you tell somebody you're a Witch, the first thing they ask you is "What do you do?" -- not "What do you believe?" or "What is your impact on society?" -- but "What do you do?" They want to hear about your rituals. I think that's exactly why Stewart Farrar titled his first book on Witchcraft "What Witches Do". So we've got to start looking at what we do, in terms of ritual and how ritual has developed. However, when it comes to trying to study liturgy in modern Paganism, you are immediately arrested by the fact that there is no coherent study of it. Yes, there are books of rituals. Sure, you can buy a spellbook here, a grimoire there. Marion Weinstein has published a Book of Shadows. The last half of Doreen Valiente's book is a Book of Shadows. Scott Cunningham's got books of spells, etc. But is there any systematic study of all this stuff put together? No. Not so far. I think the reason is because development has been so rapid. 2988 All of this stuff has come along so fast that people have not had a chance to assess it and evaluate it, and ask significant questions about it. Consequently, both the scholar and the lay person really don't have very many places to go when it comes to this. There are a few things though that you can say about religious ritual. First of all, religious ritual is a human experience, a very universal human experience. It is as real as fear, and as important as love. It has a meaning of its own. It is not some sort of aberration or distortion of reality. It is an injection of new meaning into the reality around you. There is hardly a culture in the world that has not developed its religious rituals. And sometimes by looking at religious rituals of other cultures, we can begin understanding our own better. That's one of things I'm gonna try to do here. There's a strange continuity, a sameness when you start looking at different rituals, that pervades all of them. We find that rituals, for example, are transpersonal and transcultural. People seem to experience the same types of things no matter where you look all over the world. In looking at liturgical theology, I have been doing an awful lot of work in terms of comparative study. Because the only group of people who have systematically writing about liturgical theology for any length of time are the Christians. Does this have anything to say to us as Pagans? Perhaps it does. Reason: I think most Pagans are by now well aware of the fact that the Christians have borrowed a heck of a lot from the old Pagan religions. For example, it's commonly known that the old Pagan holidays served as models for Christian holidays, so that the modern Christian liturgical calendar is to a great extent based on older Pagan themes. And ironically, sometimes you can look at what Christians have written about these to find out still more about the Pagan themes that underlie it. A second area where this is true is what we call hagiography, the study of saints. So many of the saints in the rites of the Roman Catholic Church are in fact simply Christianized forms of old Pagan gods and goddesses. So we read about the legends of these saints, and we learn a little bit more about the gods and goddesses underlying those legends. I think Pagans generally realize both of these points. What Pagans do not generally realize is that it is the same as far as liturgical ceremonies go, too. When you get right down to it, Christianity -- especially the way the Roman Catholic Church developed in the early years of Christianity -- borrowed most of its liturgical traditions from the Pagans. I mean, if you ever stopped and thought about it... For example, within the Roman Catholic Church, there are certain rituals known as "sacraments", right? Do you realize that is a Pagan word? Sacrament comes from the Latin "sacramentum" and was an oath given by a Roman soldier to his gods. It was a ritual setting. We might be well advised once again to reclaim the word sacrament and use it as our own. 2889 According the Catholic Church, a sacrament is an "effective" ritual, which means that it produces an objective effect. This is not just a symbolic commemoration of something. This is something that actually produces a change in reality. This beginning to sound familiar? Other things which we have long considered primarily Christian -- Again, I'm going to be drawing this almost exclusively from the background of Roman Catholic liturgics, which is one of the ones that is most developed. The High Anglican would be another good source if you wanted to look into this. The practice of "genuflection", of bowing on one knee, originally a Pagan practice. The practice of kissing ritual tools. If you were in a Catholic church, did you ever see a priest pick up a Missal at Mass and kiss it, put it on the altar? The same way a priestess will sometimes kiss her athame after she's used it for an invocation? Yet another custom borrowed by the Christians from the Pagans. So it seems real obvious to me that we could look at the whole question of sacramental rites, and ask what have the various Christian writers had to say about them in terms of how they work, in order to find out what Pagans probably also originally believed about rites and rituals. Although at a later time the Catholic Church would limit the number of official sacraments to be only seven in number, at an earlier time this was not true. Anything could be seen as a sacrament. A blessing was a sacrament. A holiday, a sacred object, all of these things could be considered sacramental in what they did. As a matter of fact, the first use of the word "sacrament" within a Christian context was not until 210 C.E. and it was by the Church writer Tertulian. He was the first one to use that word in a Christian context, and when he did so, ironically, he accused the Greek mystery religions of having stolen that word from the Christians. Obviously, it was precisely the other way around. Although today the word sacrament refers primarily to only seven ecclesial rituals within the Catholic Church, all of which -- or at least six of which -- have parallels in Paganism, the word "sacrament" is still used in comparative theology in a much broader sense. Basically, it refers to any hidden reality, any sign or symbol of a hidden reality that is mysterious and sacred. I could be a person, a place, or a thing. Any of these things could be considered sacramental. From the point of view of Pagan theology, by the way, with its strong emphasis on the theological perspective called "immanence", the in-dwelling quality of the divine force in all of nature, for a Pagan practically anything can become a sacrament. Every rock, every tree, everything is alive with magical and sacred powers which a Pagan can get in touch with and from there connect with the entire universe. That's what a sacrament is. There have been, historically, at least two ways of viewing rituals and sacraments. The first is the way as practiced by social anthropologists. For example, one of the most famous of these was proposed by Arnold van Gennep, who was the first to 2990 come up with the idea of rituals being, as he called them, "rites of passage". He would point to something like a marriage rite, and we can find rites like that in practically every society. And he would say that the reason this ritual was important for this society is that it marked a transition for one member of the society from one social role to another. From the status of being unmarried to the status of being married. In many societies, kids when they hit the age of puberty go through a rite of passage. This is an official recognition by the society as a whole that this person, who was once considered a child, is now considered an adult and has adult responsibilities. Van Gennep originally thought that practically all religious rituals were rites of passage. Later social anthropologists have pointed out there's at least one other major class or rituals. And this is not a rite of passage but what we call a "rite of celebration". Very distinct from a rite of passage. In a rite of passage, we talk about a person's transition from one social role to another. In a rite of celebration -- let's take for an example a wedding anniversary -- nothing is changing here. We are simply looking at something which has a permanent value and belief structure, and we are celebrating it. We are focusing on it. We are saying this is important to us. And we're going to have this ritual to let everybody know how important it is to us. A rite of passage is a rite of transition, but a rite of celebration is a rite of intensification. It intensifies the values and beliefs that are already present. That was one of two ways of classifying religious rituals. The other is the psychological approach. And probably the best writer in this field is Mircea Eliade. He called sacramental rituals -- he had a wonderful phrase for it -- he called them "doors to the sacred". Every sacramental ritual, he said, is an invitation to a religious or sacred experience. An invitation, which you may accept or not. You can either let yourself become a part of a ritual or not. You can make up your mind to distance yourself from it. But its basic design, the basic reason for a sacramental ritual is to give you an invitation to have an experience of the sacred. Which Eliade calls a "hierophany", an experience of the sacred. Practically all of these experiences involve altered states of perception, in terms of an altered sense of time and an altered sense of space. And we all have these understandings. For example, to most of us a tree is a tree. But what about the tree that you had your treehouse in when you were a little kid? That tree is special. There is no other tree like that tree anywhere else in the world. It is sacred. A funeral home -- you see them on every other street corner; they're just a building. Except the funeral home that you attended your grandfather's funeral in. You walk into that funeral home and space seems different. It is charged with a meaning that normal space -- a normal other funeral home -- does not have. Time is the same way; the sense of time can change. Anniversaries, celebrations of New Year's, celebrations like that take us back to a time that's kind of outside of time, if you will. And once again, charges that time with a special meaning. 2991 Time may even seem to pass differently. I think for me the best expression of this has always been in fairy tales. When somebody goes into the next world, the world of faery, and experiences the passage of time differently. So all of these -- what Mircea Eliade calls "hierophanies" -- all of them have to do with altered states of perception, which include both time and space. This is remarkably similar, by the way, to Dion Fortune's famous definition of magick, the "ability to alter consciousness at will". We're obviously talking about the same kind of thing here. Most hierophanies, the great majority of them, are individual. They are personal. Whether it's watching a sunset, visiting a sacred place, walking up to Stonehenge and standing in the center of it (and having the same feeling you had as you stood in your last magic Circle), this is sacred space. This is an individual and personal experience. But these religious experiences can also be shared. It happens when we sing the national anthem. It happens when we sing the old school song. It happens when a group of us gets together to go see a dramatic or theatrical presentation. In this case, we open ourselves collectively to an experience of the sacred. Which again is what a sacramental rite is all about. One other interesting thing about these experiences is that it is almost universally experienced that the high charge of meaning that is found in the rite is experienced as "discovered" or "encountered". It sort of dawns upon you. "Oh wow! That's what this is all about! Yeah, I get it now!" It's not something that is artificially enforced on the ritual from the outside. It should grow organically from the ritual. It's interesting to note that in Judeo-Christian tradition, this sacredness is quite often found in history. In the historical development of a God that interacts with a "chosen people" throughout a period of history. Whereas in Pagan theology, sacredness is most usually found not in history but in nature. That every tree, every rock, everything is alive, that you can get in touch with it, that it has a magical and sacred essence and you can interact with that, and get in touch with the Cosmos as a whole through that. It's interesting to note, too, that because of this the Judeo-Christian tradition places a very strong emphasis on sacred writings, or scripture. Whereas many of the old Pagan religions -- taking the old Druid religion as a fine example -- made it forbidden to write down sacred material. Druids teach it, bards sing it, dancers dance it -- but you don't write it. They realized it was too sacred for that. So we have these very definite distinctions in terms of how we've approached these sorts of things. Another way of looking at a ritual is this: Most of us are familiar with the way a myth takes the values and beliefs of a religion and embodies them in story form. A ritual takes the values and beliefs of a religion and embodies them in actions. That's why quite often a ritual is a myth enacted. Ritual drama, 2992 for example. As I said at the beginning, I think many Pagans are aware of how Christians have borrowed from us in terms of calendar customs, and how they've borrowed our gods to use as their saints. But we've seldom examined how the Christian religion has borrowed our sacred rites. They have. The Catholic Church now recognizes seven official sacraments. And virtually all of them -- or at least six of them -- have Pagan origins. First of all, the rite called "Baptism". That's the first ecclesial ritual in the Roman Catholic Church. Or "Christening", as it's sometimes called. It turns out once again that practically every "primitive" culture has similar rites of blessing of a child. In ancient, pre-Christian, Pagan Celtic society, there was a similar rite. It had to do with sprinkling a child with water, passing the child through the smoke of a fire, passing it through a hole in a stone or else touching it to the earth (getting in all the elements here), and quite often passing the child around a circle, handing the baby around so that each person in the circle gets to hold it for a short time. If you want descriptions of this taken from people who seem to remember these pre-Christian ceremonies, look at the work of folklorist Alexander Carmichael in the six-volume set, the "Carmina Gaedelica". Some of these rites had been Christianized, of course, even at the time Carmichael was taking them down. But a lot of their Pagan origins are still very clear. In Pagan Celtic society, by the way, this rite was called a "seining". Which I would like to propose as a much better term for this kind of rite in Paganism than the more recently coined word "Wiccaning". I oppose that terminology for two reasons. One, it's obviously a word that was coined recently to be a counterpart to the term "Christening". So the word itself is not historically attested. Secondly, think of what it implies! When you "Christen" a child, you are introducing it into the body of Christ, the Church. You are making it a Christian. I don't think that any Witch thinks that "Wiccaning" a child is making that child a Witch! I've never heard any Pagan put it that way. At the very most, you are blessing the child, asking the gods' protection for this child "so that no harm comes to the child, or to anyone else through the child" (as it is commonly expressed) until such a time as that child is able to choose its own religion. We do not attempt to make that choice for the child. It is simply a rite of blessing and protection. Strangely enough, that is exactly what the word "seining" means. And therefore I think it's much better than the alternative "Wiccaning". The Christian religion also has a sacrament called the "Eucharist". By the way, if ever anybody challenges you that the Christian religion doesn't employ magic, take a look at what the Catholic Church has to say about the sacrament of the Eucharist, or what they call "the blessed sacrament" -- THE blessed sacrament. The official term for what happens is "transubstantiation" -- that the priest actually has the power to turn common bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus! If that isn't a magical act, I don't know what one is! Although the 2993 Church would be loath to use the word "magic" in this context. But we certainly understand what it's all about. The idea of blessing food and drink, however, once again seems to be one of those universal rites. When people sit down to a shared dinner, a common meal, it is a rite of inclusion. Even in the early Christian Church, you were not allowed to partake in the Eucharistic meal unless you were already a member of that church. So the fact that in the Wiccan tradition you share "cakes and ale" would imply an inclusion in the membership of that group. And of course, there are all the symbolic associations of food as sustenance. We also have the sacrament of Confirmation in the Catholic Church. Which always sounded strange to me when I was growing up. You know, you're twelve years old now, and it's time for you to be "confirmed". It's almost like up until then you were only "tentative". (LAUGHTER) But now you're confirmed. What it really meant, though, was the person was supposedly old enough by now to make a free choice (cough) of which religion they wanted to belong to. And the bishop -- You'll notice here, by the way, that the proper minister for this rite is the bishop, not the priest. Although it is possible for a bishop to delegate the power to a priest. But the bishop comes and confirms you into this religion. Again, we have so many rites from so many Pagan systems that this seems to based on that are usually referred to as "initiation" ceremonies, or rites of passage, rites of adulthood. When finally the child is brought fully into the religious and social (in most primitive societies, they are the same) structure of the society and is now seen to be a full adult. So any first degree initiation could serve as a model for what the Catholic Church came to call Confirmation. Ordination. This is a right that ONLY a bishop can perform, in the Catholic Church. Only a bishop can make a priest. You'll notice that when we look at how initiation rites are traditionally done in Wicca, any priest or priestess can make another priest or priestess. And quite often, it looks like in the oldest rites, it also involved a kind of "laying on of hands". There was an imposition of hands that occurred in the Catholic tradition, as well. And until that time, a novice priest was actually told that it would be wrong or DANGEROUS for him to perform some of the priestly functions unless he had been made a priest! And there were all sorts of stories in the old days that only a priest could touch the consecrated elements. Only a priest's hands -- only consecrated hands -- could touch the vessels that held the consecrated elements: the chalice, the monstrance, the ciborium, and so forth. This almost implies to me, though it's never quite stated in this way, but it almost seems like there is some sort of real, tangible, psychic energy that is present. I remember being regaled with stories when I was a little kid going to a Catholic school where the nuns would tell these wonderful stories about how some poor person was kneeling at the altar rail waiting to receive Communion, and the priest comes 2994 along to administer Communion, and drops the Host. And the poor person reaches out to try to catch it, and at the first touch of this consecrated object, there is a tremendous flash of lightning, and the person is now a little pile of ashes on the altar carpet. (LAUGHTER) I don't think it's quite like that. But what it may be saying is that some of these powers, even within magical traditions or Pagan traditions, are tangible and do carry some sort of psychic clout. I don't think lightning is going to flash out of the sky and reduce you to cinders. But what we're saying is a metaphor, really, that there may be some kind of psychic backlash if you attempt to wield these magical energies before your training has been finished, before you're ready to handle them, before you understand what you're doing. In the same way that a good psychotherapy session, if it uncovers too much garbage from your subconscious, can throw you backward if you're not ready to deal with the stuff that's dredged up. For those of you who believe there is some sort of validity to the concept of "apostolic succession", the imposition of hands, it also may imply that, when one priest or priestess makes another priest or priestess, she is passing on a kind of MAGICAL SHIELDING as well. A protection, so that you will be able to handle these magical powers without any ill effect. For those of you who believe that the initiation tradition is valid. Again, if you want to see Pagan examples of that, look at some of the work done by Alexander Carmichael. There is a rite called a "shielding" where one person kneels, while a second person puts one hand under their knees and the other hand over their head and says "Everything that is between my two hands is protected and seined by the Mother". The Goddess has control of everything in this sphere. It's a passing on of this shielding, that until you have, it might be dangerous for you to experiment with these powers. IF you believe that's a valid idea. (We'll get into questions of validity in just a minute.) The Christian tradition of marriage, of course... Well, in every society that we know of, we have rituals that talk about people getting together. However, ever since the Judeo-Christian system has come along, we've been firmly locked into only one way of viewing marriage -- a monogamous way of viewing marriage, for one thing -- with very little latitude in terms of variability. If you look at the Pagan idea of Handfasting, if you go back to the Irish pre-Christian brehon laws, you will find that they talk about at least ten different forms of what we today call marriage. These forms include such things as marriage between two people of the same gender, marriage of more than two people (what today we would call a "group marriage"), marriages that only last for a "year and a day" or some other specified time (what today we might call a "trial marriage"), marriages that did not demand sexual exclusivity (what today we would call "open marriage"), "contract marriage", the woman keeping her own name, pre-nuptial and post-nuptial property arrangements. (If you've ever read about the great pillow-talk argument between Queen Maeve and King Aillil about who had the most property, you know what I'm talking about!) 2995 You know, it's fascinating to think that all of the so-called marriage innovations that occurred in the 1960's, that we thought were so mind-bogglingly new... nope! They were all there in the old Pagan form of this rite. They were *standard*, until the Christian form of marriage with its single theme, its monogamous monotheistic vision, it's vision of the one right and only way to do something, came along and knocked the older one aside. But again, the Pagan origins are obvious. The ecclesial sacrament called "Last Rites"... We have all sorts of what we call "death blessings" in the Gaelic Pagan traditions, to send the spirit on its way. For each person who dies, there is one particular person assigned to be the leader of these rites who from that time on is known as the dead person's "soul friend". This is the one who will carry out the rituals, remember them when Samhain comes around, set out the extra places at the table, etc. We perhaps have less historical data on the Last Rite theme than we have for certain other themes that we're talking about here. But it is still there. And again a reference to some of the early folklorists. The one modern Christian sacrament that I cannot really find an exact parallel for in terms of a pre-Christian precursor in Paganism is the sacrament the Roman Catholic Church calls "Penance", or "Confession". Isn't that interesting? The whole sacrament has to do with confessing your sins to a priest, who then absolves you of the sins. It is a whole thing of guilt, and release from guilt. Yes? Morning Glory: There were blood guilt rituals, because if you caused an accidental or even on-purpose death, you had to pay a wyrguild to the family. In the New World, the Aztecs had a thing where if you caused the death of someone, you became a surrogate for that person. So there were things like that. Mike Nichols: Okay, good point. I can think of an Irish example of that, now that you mention it. The Chucullain legend is a good example. Chucullain, who was originally Setanta, accidentally on purpose kills this very ferocious dog, and walks up to the gate-keeper and says, "I've killed your dog and I would like to replace him." And the gate-keeper says "Fine, there go some cats. Get busy." (LAUGHTER) I think that's where that joke started. Morning Glory: Samhain was also a time -- and Walpurgisnacht, especially Walpurgisnacht -- was a time when you took stuff from that year and purged it in the fire. And you would have to then go and get it straight with any other people inside the Circle that you shared. Mike Nichols: I noticed that in a lot of the Pagan traditions, the purging of one's "guilt" (and I think we're very misguided to use the term "guilt" here)... Morning Glory: Responsibility. Mike Nichols: Responsibility, right -- is a matter of making recompense to the person or persons who were wronged. It's not a 2996 matter of carrying around a guilt trip until somebody says "Okay, if you'll go through this ritual, you will be absolved." (unidentified): A couple of things I've run into recently, one was in a work of fiction. These three young girls rob this woman who later turns out to be a Witch. It's on this psychic journey where they have the bodies of these 12th century people. And one ends up a peasant. And he couldn't help but notice these weird little Pagan things that kept cropping up that these people had kept for centuries. And one of the things was that on the first day of Spring, the village priest preached a sermon that "dancing leads to damnation". Apparently, on the first day of Spring, all the peasants would go out and dance everything out. And that would really help them out. It got rid of all the pains of the Winter, someone had been murdered, and a baby had died of starvation. Otter Zell: There was a common form that I can't identify specifically, but it's a theme I've come across in a lot of anthropological studies. But it's the basis of what we call, not a "trial" really, but more like "mediation". If there's a conflict between parties about something or if someone feels they've been wronged by someone, then the parties would be brought together within the community of people, and everybody would have to tell their stories. Then they would ask them "What do you think would be a fair settlement? What do you think would be fair?" And this was just talked out in the context of the community of people, until everything was worked out to everyone's satisfaction. And we've used this ourselves in our Circle under such situations, and it's been incredibly effective, very powerful. And the ultimate, if this could not be worked out, there were several ways of dealing with it. The heaviest one was generally banishment, where the person would simply be sent away. And the next heaviest one would probably be ostracism, where the person would not be spoken to. He would be ignored, they'd pretend he didn't exist for a period of time. Highly effective. Of course, the more simple and basic ones would be working out appropriate compensation that everyone would be satisfied with. So there were these procedures, but it wasn't the same thing as "guilt". The concept of "sin" and "guilt", and the idea that you could go to a priest instead of the person you'd wronged, and that the priest could absolve your soul of guilt. And we still have that today, where you go to a trial, and the judge finds you "guilty" and he fines you or sends you to jail, but the person who's been fucked over is still fucked over. (LAUGHTER) Morning Glory: They don't get their money back that you stole. It goes to the State, for some odd reason. Mike Nichols: Exactly. These are things that I think we all ought to think about. What I'm trying to do in the first part of this presentation is to focus your attention on how we might be able to look at Christian liturgical rites to find information about their predecessors as to how they might have been done in Pagan societies. Because all of these things we've talked about, the so-called "seven sacraments of the Catholic Church -- if you 2997 look for data that Jesus himself instituted these things, you look practically in vain. Where in the world did the Church come up with these things? A great example of this, by the way (and it's an example I use in my class quite often) is this. For a long time, after I decided that I was going to be Pagan, I quit going to the Catholic Church because it didn't interest me. It might have been a mistake. One year while I was at college, I was home for Spring break (it was Easter) and my mother dragged me along to a service that happens on the Saturday night right before Easter, "Holy Saturday" -- which has to be one of the most liturgically rich occasions of the Church calendar. (If you want to see it even richer, take a look at the Orthodox traditions, the Greek and Russian Orthodox. They *really* know liturgics.) At any rate... I had forgotten how the Catholic Church blesses the holy water that it's going to be using in the coming liturgical year. But what happens, roughly, is this. The holy water font, which is usually in the porch or vestibule of the church, is brought up into the sanctuary and placed near the altar. And at one point in this particular Mass, the priest walks over to this large candle which is called the Pascal Candle. It is in place throughout the Easter season. It has little herbs stuck in it and so forth. He takes this candle out of its holder, walks over to the holy water or Baptismal font (which looks, from my point of view, remarkably like a large cauldron), and holds the candle over the font, and starts doing *this* with it. (demonstrates by plunging the vertical candle in and out of the holy water font) (GASPS OF RECOGNITION AND LAUGHTER) (unidentified): You're kidding! Mike Nichols: I'm NOT kidding. And after having studied Paganism, and I saw that, it was like I was seeing it for the first time. And I looked to the right and to the left to see if anybody else, you know, realized what was going on. I mean, I thought "Aren't there any *Freudians* in the audience?!?!" (LAUGHTER) There was not one flicker of recognition, not one flutter of an eyelid! I could not believe it! And I knew there and then that obviously the Catholic Church had not picked this up from Jesus. Where had the Catholic Church learned to bless water? From us. And where had the Catholic Church learned to do a lot of other stuff? From us. So, I think it is richly rewarding for us to take a look at what they have done in terms of liturgics. Eldoreth Grey Squirrel: "Pagans take back the rite!" (LAUGHTER) Mike Nichols: Exactly!! Exactly. I like that! That'll be the title of my new book! (LAUGHTER) Morning Glory: There's another aspect of that, too, with the Host, the idea of consuming the body of the God. Sacred cannibalism was certainly a factor that this came from. The eating of the pressed grains of Dammuzi or Tammuz, the Green Man, 2998 the vegetation god, and the eating of the body of the god, that's definitely ours. Jesus was pretty much captured into the Tammuz cycle, and much that we're working with is still in there. Mike Nichols: I absolutely agree. And you'll notice that in all this discussion we've only covered the seven basic ecclesial rites of the Church. We're not even talking yet about all the little incidental things the Church calls "sacramentals", like the blessing of holy objects, the consecration of a church altar, the consecration of the church building. Where did the blueprint, where did the pattern for a lot of these rites come from? Morning Glory: Oh, on that note! The pattern of the church building itself. The idea of having a temple where you did your worshipping on the ground floor, and the basement is where you bury your dead, that is a universal ancient custom. And it's the same whether it's Chartres Cathedral or the so-called "palace of Knosis", which is a necropolis, actually. Otter Zell: You know, another thing that appears to me to be a sacrament is the concept of purification. And somewhere during the course of what you're saying, I was reminded of a custom of the purification of people who had returned from a war in ancient Pagan cultures. They basically had to pass through the holy women who, by making love with them, would purify and renew them and "take the war out of them". There have been some articles on this recently. Morning Glory: There is a great book out now called "The Woman Who Slept with Men and Took the War Out of Them". It's by some famous feminist that you've all heard of, and I can't remember her name right now. Mike Nichols: Sounds good! Okay, let's move on into the area of liturgical theology. What we've been talking about so far is liturgical history, the development of liturgical rites, and how I believe we must focus more attention on that historical development. But now let's take a look at liturgical theology, where we can start splitting theological hairs -- which is always so much fun! There are so many questions that have plagued Pagans for a long time, and I was *delighted* to find that some of these same questions had plagued the Christians down through the years. And it was fascinating to see what they had to say about it. Some of the greatest minds of the Catholic Church from St. Augustan to Thomas Aquinas, whatever other horrible things they may have done along the way, had some fascinating things to say about these issues. For example, why are some rituals done only once, like a seining, whereas other rituals are repeated over and over again? Take the Magic Circle itself, there doesn't seem to be any limit on how many times you can do it. Let's look at one possible answer. (But again, I'm gonna throw out more questions than answers here.) But one possible answer is that certain rituals, if properly done (whatever *that* means, and we'll get to that in 2999 a minute), have a *permanent* effect on the person who undergoes them. A permanent effect, an "indelible mark" as the old catechism says, that cannot be erased. Now, the question of how a ritual is to be done. How do you know if a ritual has been done properly? For example, does a ritual have an effect if there are no outwardly observable signs? Any of you who have ever performed an initiation rite, I think this has occurred to you. What happens if the initiation is all done, and the person sits there saying "I don't feel any different. Am I supposed to? Has anything happened to me?" And you will occasionally find people who have been High Priests and High Priestesses for quite a few years, who will perhaps talk more freely about it than others, and among themselves they will talk about whether an initiation "took". Did it "take"? Some of them will say that after an initiation has been completed, the rite was performed, the energies are set in motion, but it may not "take" until after another month, and so forth. That it may eventually take, but not right when the initiation was done. But the energies are there. Would you believe the same questions have been wrestled with by the Catholic Church? Especially in the early days of Christianity when the rite of Baptism was an adult rite, and it meant that the person was supposed to entirely change their outward behavior, totally give up certain things, and start believing certain things. What if a person went through a Baptism, which is supposedly a magical rite-- In those days, Baptism and Confirmation were virtually the same rite, and could only be done once because it was supposed to be effective the first time. Remember the whole question of the "heresy" of the Re-Baptists was on this precise point. If a person was baptized, that supposedly made them a Christian, which would supposedly end their career of "sin", in the eyes of the Catholic Church. But what if they went out and sinned again? What if they murdered someone? Should they get re-baptized? The Catholic Church said no, they should not be re-baptized because one Baptism is sufficient. The energies are already in place, but it didn't "take". But only one per customer for the rite itself. Now, it may be that the person was not "spiritually disposed" to receive the energies generated by the sacramental rite. There was some blockage, something stopping them from being receptive. We don't know what this is. That is perhaps one of the reasons the ritual of Penance developed the way it did. Because what do you do with a person who has sinned and yet wants to come back into the body of the Church? (By the way, certain people like the Donatists thought once they've sinned, they're *out*. We *don't* allow them back in.) (unidentified): My background was Fundamentalist, so I was baptized in the river at about 12. And every time I would leave and come back for a visit, all these people would want me to re- dedicate myself, come up and be re-baptized. Now, is that just a variation of the tradition? I'm trying to figure this out. Mike Nichols: Yes, it is a variation. When the Protestant Reformation occurred, one of the things that was most held up to 3000 scrutiny, in fact, was the way the Catholic Church approached the whole question of sacramental rites. One of the chief questions (which we'll get to in a minute) is whether or not the "worthiness" of the minister is an effective variable in the rite itself. Does a priest in a state of sin-- What if a priest has gone out and murdered somebody? He is in a state of mortal sin, supposedly cut off from God and the Church. What if he then baptizes somebody? Is that Baptism sacred? Is it valid? Or, as a Pagan may put it, is the power in the person doing the ritual, or is the power in the ritual? I think all of us have wondered this, right? I'll be talking about what some of the various Church Councils have ruled on matters of liturgical theology in a minute. But in this particular instance, the Catholic Church decided that the power was in the rite, in the ritual itself. It didn't matter whether or not the person conducting the ritual was in a state of grace or a state of sin. This is one of the things that Martin Luther took exception to. He felt that the spiritual "health", if you will, of the person performing the ceremony was a variable in how effective the ceremony was. And I'll show you in a minute why the Catholic position disagreed with that. Morning Glory: The thing about the Fundamentalist attitude about Baptism, it's not a one per customer attitude. And a lot of that has to do with the concept that's called "Baptism of the Holy Ghost", which is an ecstatic experience that is repeatedly craved and repeatedly done. It's like raising the power. So their attitude about Baptism is not that this is a sacralizing agent as much as it is an anointing for the purpose of raising power. Mike Nichols: Let me ask you a question based on that. If a person undergoes a rite of Baptism and doesn't experience this influx of whatever, Holy Spirit, then is it assumed that they were not baptized? Morning Glory: Not by the Holy Ghost. If you don't speak in tongues, then you didn't get the Holy Ghost. And that's the sign of it. And they'll keep at it until you get it. Mike Nichols: Ah! Okay, very good. The reason this ran into problems in the Catholic Church was because of the many priests who were declared to be heretical, in the Albigensens movement, the Cathari movement, etc. What happens if a priest, an *excommunicant* priest, performs a Baptism? Is that Baptism valid? The Catholic Church said yes, for a number of reasons. First of all, they developed two concepts: validity as opposed to legality. The sacrament, or the rite itself, was considered VALID in that it produced the desired effect on the person. Even if a person came from a heretical sect into the Church, they were not re-baptized. The Baptism only needed to occur once. It left an indelible mark on that person's spirit or soul. It didn't have to be re-done, right? However, that Baptism was ILLEGAL from the point of view of Canon Law. The Canon lawyers, the people who codified the ritual structure of the Catholic Church, would say that this was a VALID but ILLEGAL (or illicit) rite.
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